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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: The way my boyfriend and I communicate worries me. I see him on the weekend, usually Saturdays. He may stay over. We dont do anything or plan anything for during the day on a Saturday. On a Sunday, nothing is planned either it often takes a while to figure out what to do (or he sleeps in) we dont really do anything. Then comes the week and we are both at work. I live alone and he lives with his mom still so we do not see each other. There is a few texts through out the day. One of my concerns is that when he gets home he switches his phone off. He doesn't have a job where his phone is ringing all the time either. So, in the evenings during the week i dont hear from him at all. Then it starts again. Nothing is planned. I have tried plannig, but it is hopeless. He either forgets, backs out, plans something else or doesn't give me an answer. We have been together for 3.5 years. It is getting OLD!! (he isnt young either. Im late 20's and he is early 30s.)What would be some ways to fix/change this. It can't keep going on.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 Do you REALLY KNOW that he lives with his Mother? and: 1. Isn't married?, or, 2. has another "girlfriend" who occupies his time when he's away from you? I'd sure be suspicious......
good luck..
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 March 2013):
 I'm fully with Cerberus on this one.
Communication is the MOST important part of a relationship. Hands down. This issue needs to be talked about. He needs to know it's a problem. If he doesn't see it as one, that's another problem and a good indicator of where things are going, or rather not going.
Talk it out. Don't let him dodge. Plan what you want to talk about and then do it. It likely won't be easy, but sometimes the necessary is not easy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): Have you tried talking to him about this and how serious it has become?
That's your next course of action OP. If you already have then what has he said?
Was he always like this or is it recent?
Need a bit more info OP.
It could be a rut that can be worked through of he gets his life in order or it may well be how he always has been and his default setting if you know what I mean.
The first year doesn't count OP, we all make the effort during the honeymoon period. If he's been like this most of your relationship then being over 30 this is most likely the person he is.
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