My Gf has major self esteem issues. will she ever change or go back to the way she used to be?
Q. my fiance of 4 years has always suffered from self esteem issues, an eating disorder and was raped when she was 16. now because of this she dated men who treated her like crap because she thought she deserved that. she has had no support from her ...
A. 30 October 2011: Well... judging by the complexities of the young woman who you described.... I'd say that whatever advice you get herein (and we - collectively - give darn good advice!) won't be worth a whit if this woman doesn't get professional assessment to ... (read in full...)
My dad doesn't think he has much time left and wants to see me married with kids, am I ready for this? Should I talk to my boyfriend?
Q. Please help and offer me your advice. What should or can I do? My dad spoke to me once about his death. He said he was afraid of never seeing his granchildren, really afraid. He said 'We don't make old blood' with a serious, sad face. (It means ...
A. 28 October 2011: Stop letting your Father dictate how your life goes.. and live it on your OWN behalf.... Be good to your Father.... but keep him - and his veiled requests - at arm's length.... Good luck........ (read in full...)
Why are smaller nipples more attractive? And when I get mine reduced, will the scars be a turnoff?
Q. I have always wondered this. After hearing many pepperoni nipples and bologna nipple jokes and comments, it's easy to figure out that men are not fond of large areolae. Why is it exactly? Is it because smaller ones are more sensitive? Becau...
A. 28 October 2011: WHY - oh WHY do you girls think you have to tamper with the endowments that Mother Nature gave you?????? Save your money and take your B/F on a trip to Cancun!!!!! Good luck....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's brother is tagging along to our outings and now I don't want him for my 18th birthday party. How can I ask him not to come without sounding rude?
Q. Here's what happened the first time: My boyfriend was invited by me to my grandmother's halloween party for the family, so he can meet my family. So a few days before the party, he asked if his brother can tag along. He said he had to watch his brot...
A. 28 October 2011: P.S. IF he isn't able to accomodate this reasonable request... then DUMP HIM and find a REAL B/F!!!!!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's brother is tagging along to our outings and now I don't want him for my 18th birthday party. How can I ask him not to come without sounding rude?
Q. Here's what happened the first time: My boyfriend was invited by me to my grandmother's halloween party for the family, so he can meet my family. So a few days before the party, he asked if his brother can tag along. He said he had to watch his brot...
A. 28 October 2011: I suggest that you sit his sorry bottom down... face him... and, as politely as you can, say, "... (his name) I really like you... and love the time we spend together... but I have NO INTENTION of continuing to date with your BROTHER along... so, ... (read in full...)
I want my wife back from this other man!
Q. My ex wife and I were together since we were 20. Got married at 21 and had our first kid at 23; each proceeding child is 1-3 years apart from the last. (We have 5 kids.) We got a divorce 4 years ago because, somewhere along the line, we stopped ...
A. 28 October 2011: She's not "doing a darn thing" TO YOU!!! YOU're the one who is making this a personal matter.... I suggest you step back and consider that there is a WHOLE WORLD out there that has little or nothing to do with YOU..... and, when you finally find... (read in full...)
First time sex...what can I do so that it wont hurt?
Q. I'm a vigin and me and my partner want to have sex I'm scared that it might hurt from other girls I've heard it hurts I need to know what I can do so it won't hurt . ...
A. 28 October 2011: It won't hurt from the other girls.... it'll hurt if the lucky GUY acts like an inconsiderate buffoon and forces the issue..... IF you offer your virginity to a great guy, who gives a darn about you, it will be the greatest experience - yet... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been ignoring me for 4 days and I don't know what I have done wrong! What should I do in this situation?
Q. Hi, I really dont know what to do and would appreciate some advice. For some reason over the past four days, my boyfriend has decided to ignore me and wont contact me for no reason. I dont know what Ive done wrong, we haven't argued or even said a b...
A. 28 October 2011: I suggest you wait him out.... and when that OTHER GIRL - who he thought was going to be an "easy make-out" for him - fails to come through... THEN he will come back to your.... grovelling for your attention.... and you will be able to get ANYTHING ... (read in full...)
Is this world only for beautiful people with good fortunes?
Q. I am not good looking and have no confidence in myself at all. When I was 14, pimples started appearing on my head and lost my font hair. Since then, I have been shaving my head to make it look decent but I know girls get turned off my look a...
A. 28 October 2011: if it (the world) were only for the beautiful people who have great means.... you and I wouldn't have any reason to be here. What I suggest is that you - like me - keep plugging and screw up those who ARE beautiful and Rich!!!!! Good luck.... ... (read in full...)
Why does my B/f still have pictures of his ex girlfriends on his laptop? Would it be unreasonable if I asked him to delete them?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together one month, but we were seeing each other before that for about 4 months as I moved away and we had liked each other for a year previously, now were finally together I couldn't be happier, although I seem ...
A. 28 October 2011: You can ask all you want.... but the chances that he actually WILL delete those pictures is somewhere between "slim" and "none".......... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to have a girlfriend!
Q. I'm very nice, mature, really sweet, really cool, smart, funny, strong, and tough. I have the confidence to ask out a girl. Do you think I'm likable to girls? I never had a girlfriend before and sometimes I feel like need one. I always wanted to...
A. 28 October 2011: Get in line. I've been feeling that way for about 57 years!!!... (read in full...)
What exactly constitutes a "first move"? And how can I be sure that I have not made the first move?
Q. Hi, I was just reading another post and one of the answers was to NEVER make the first move and I suddenly thought "S***! I don't know if I accidentally made a first move or not!" I understand the psychology behind this idea - that some guys l...
A. 28 October 2011: Here are a few things that are CLEARLY "the first move":
1. You empty one of his dresser drawers and fill it with your underwear.
2. You tell him that you have sensitive gums... and would he mind keeping "Sensodyne" toothpaste in hi... (read in full...)
Married man is trying to break the no contact rule
Q. I have cut off a friendship with a married man because we are both attracted to each other and we both realized it should not go any further. We have had no contact for two months now. It has been hard but in that time, I have been trying to move on ...
A. 28 October 2011: What happened was, you two broke things off and he thought he would be able to find another woman to provide sex for him.... but he didn't. That meant he was back where he started.... with just his wife to hang around with.... and that's where you ... (read in full...)
I'm confused as to his true intentions
Q. i have been hanging out with a guy who's normally used to casual relationships. i told him from the start that im not the type of girl that is okay with casual sex, but yet he still asks to see me almost every weekend. when we hang out we talk most ...
A. 28 October 2011: He's hoping that you'll change your mind and put out. We guys can be astonishingly patient when we think we have a chance for that......... (read in full...)
I asked her to dress sexy and she laughed at me and now I feel embarrassed!
Q. I am in a relationship with this pretty girl for the last 2 years and we are having great loving and sexual relationship . Recently, I asked her to wear very tight pent and jeans in home so that her big tits and butt become obvious for me . She re...
A. 27 October 2011: Well... you "tipped your hand" as to what you REALLY think of your G/F.... and she got offended AND called you on it. Probably the only thing you can do now is apologize.... AND, not with the routine wave-of-the-hand (and insincere) apology.... ... (read in full...)
Is it right for my husband to leave me despite having a high risk pregnancy to go on holiday?
Q. i have been married for a few months. i am 34 weeks pregnant, with a history of heart disease, and classified high risk pregancy. my husband lobied for a paid for 2 months vacation out of the country with his employers and really excited about it. i ...
A. 27 October 2011: Not only are you NOT asking for too much attention.... BUT.... according to your description of how matters are happening ....you are doing 'way to much to accomodate the unthinking/unappreciative idiot who you call a "husband"... ... (read in full...)
Should I confront her husband and let him know what his wife has been doing with me for the last 2 years, or let nature take its course?
Q. well , where do i start , was working with this girl for a couple of years , we became the best of friends , would talk about every thing and any thing , she is married , im single , and has kids , i knew all this before any thing had happened , ...
A. 26 October 2011: That's a delightful idea.... Call up hubby and say "I've been sleeping with your wife for a couple of years... and now I expect she will dump your sorry bottom and take up with me..."
The fallout???? I assure you that - when the dust settles ... (read in full...)
Should I tell people I'm a virgin when I meet them?
Q. I'm 26 and still a virgin. I've not had many boyfriends, i'm quite shy and don't go out much - prefer saving money for holidays and concerts. Whenever i meet someone should I tell them i'm a virgin or not? Thanks...
A. 26 October 2011: It's nobody's business if you are a virgin or a verifiable major-league slut!!!! Keep your mouth shut about such matters.... as it should NOT be part of any discussion between a man and a woman until a LONG TIME in to their spending time with one ... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Why do guys only want to sleep with me and not have a relationship?
Q. hey, i am 21 and know people say im still young should be enjoying myself not worried about realtionships but (and please dont judge me) iv slept with 53 boys and only 3 if had a realtionship with. it isnt that i dont what a reationship beca...
A. 26 October 2011: They sleep with you - and avoid any sort of "relationship" - because YOU LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT!!!!
Remember: NO red-blooded man will do anything more than he absolutely must in order to get a little sex!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
The sex was great when we first met, now he's not interested
Q. My boyfriend and I had GREAT sex when we 1st met...but we were just each others booty call. After a long distance relationship of only daily talk and text we are together again after a year and in a serious, committed and monogamous ...
A. 26 October 2011: Maybe he's experiencing anxiety because his WIFE told him, expressly, not to fool around with other girls!!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Is he still a player or is he a player
Q. my ex whom I haven't seen for almost two years and I have a 3 day getaway together. I think I got lonely and he charmed me into sleeping with him. When we're saying goodbye to each other, and on the first day of leaving we're talking and he s...
A. 26 October 2011:
WHY would you expose yourself, a third time, to this jerk who made you feel bad the first and second times.... AND, your intuition "tells" you that he's going to do it again?????
Get a better B/F....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Got together with my ex on Friday, but he hasn't called since?
Q. So I've started seeing my ex-boyfriend, we broke up 6 months ago and we were also together for that length of time. We broke up due distance and a petty argument. So it was really no big deal. Basically I stayed in his house Friday night, it's...
A. 26 October 2011: I think he got you to put out again.... so he can go back to not having to treat you very nicely....
Not all guys behave this way.... but you may have to turn over a lot of rocks to find one of the few who doesn't....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Is it because I dont' give into their needs and stay strong or am I a pushover?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 3 years. When we met he was going through a divorce. It was hard and his family never accepted me - there was also much baggage with the Ex. They did, and still do invite his ex to things and not me and it's always ...
A. 26 October 2011:
Have you ever heard the phrase "... it's like clapping with one hand"????? THAT's what this "relationship" sounds like.... and YOU'RE the only one participating....
You call it "love" (You wrote: "We continued seeing each other because we l... (read in full...)
I cannot stop obsessing about my boyfriend's height! Please help.
Q. Dear Cupid. Please help. I am driving myself crazy. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and I love him so so so much, but I am absolutely obsessed with his height. I am 5ft 9.5", and he is about 1-1.5" taller. Yet whenever we a...
A. 26 October 2011: SwanLake.... take several deep breaths and repeat after me:
"What the heck difference does it make what are our heights....."
Once again: "What the heck difference does it make what are our heights....."
And again...."What the heck ... (read in full...)
I always have to text first
Q. if he doesn't text me first what does that mean? i always am the one to start the conversation......
A. 26 October 2011: It means that you're "chasing" him.... That gives HIM all the power in your "relationship".... and saps from you any integrity that you would otherwise have.....
Good luck........ (read in full...)
I'm planning a big move to be with my boyfriend and my father is telling me it's the biggest mistake of my life!
Q. I'm planning on movine abroad and start living a life with my boyfriend. I'll be leaving in early spring, take 6 months to see how things go both work-wise and love-wise then, if things don't work out, get back here and get my old job back (already ...
A. 24 October 2011: Your Father is probably motivated by his instinct to protect is daughter.... For you to MOVE to live with (yes?) a "boyfriend" is a high-risk arrangement.... and I'd venture to say that at least as many women end up disappointed and some place f... (read in full...)
Advice on asking girl out needed so she doesn't think it's "just friends"?
Q. alright, 2 questions here. There is this girl in my class at university who I really want to ask out. But I have a few concerns. 1) I know it's recommended that you don't ask a girl out in front of a lot of people (for your sake and hers) so I was ...
A. 24 October 2011: I suggest that you put the "date" thing on the back burner and say to her: "I'm planning to go to the hockey game on (whatever day). Would you like to come along?"
IF she sez "yes," then you have a sort of date.... you're in the same place th... (read in full...)
Guys do you do this? Girls do you endure this?
Q. My boyfriend says he loves me and isn't looking for anyone else. I commented today about how lame skankygirl pirate costumes are. He said he hopes they're around for a long time. I'm insecure by nature and the thought of him looking at other...
A. 24 October 2011: I used to date a lovely woman who - much like you - could have written this note.....
She was SO quick to be "hurt" by even the most innocuous of comment.... AND, she actually insisted that I turn my head away from her, if we ever encounte... (read in full...)
It's the small things he doesn't do which make me feel unappreciated
Q. Hello. Just wondered If I am being unreasonable, as my partner said, sometimes it's good to get an outsiders perspective! Live with my partner of 4 years. I work near enough full time and study full time. He works full time. I do pretty much all ...
A. 24 October 2011: You're only overreacting if one believes that this thoughtless creep who you live with should have one iota of concern for his G/F.....
My guess is that this isn't an isolated incident... but that there's a pattern of his not being very nice or ... (read in full...)
I don't want to date her anymore. How do I get her to move out of my life?
Q. I have spent 9 months with this lady and now wana dump her . Well she hasn’t done anything wrong neither me but I have to dump her as I find someone else more attractive than her. She is my 8th girlfriends and I think there is nothing wrong ke...
A. 24 October 2011: I suggest you use the tried-and-true "it's not you; it's me".... line, as you tell her that she's dumped.... That works every time.... AND makes the person who is dumped feel MUCH BETTER!!!!!.....
Good luck........ (read in full...)
The girl I'm dating says "Just enjoy the ride" she doesn't see us long term. Should I keep dating her?
Q. Hi I've been dating a girl for 5 months now, i often mention long term plans, but she always says she doesn't think we will be together long term, as she feels she will sabotage the relationship at some point without knowing it, she also says th...
A. 24 October 2011: Sounds to me like she's being realistic and you are sounding desperate.... Unfortunately, desperate always loses out......
Sorry....... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my FWB about my feelings for him?
Q. Hi everyone here is my problem me and this man are fwb, I wanted more and I told him but he didn't say anything back. he treats me quite badly, we arrange for me to stay at his and then he forgets all about it. we arrange a night out then when the ...
A. 21 October 2011: Looks like HE is living in a "FWB" situation.... while YOU are holding out for a REAL "RELATIONSHIP".... which your "FRIEND" is not about to participate in......
Re-think your intentions, preferences and desires... AND the list of men for whom you... (read in full...)
How shall I approach my mother?
Q. Dear girlfriends, could you give me some useful hints how to tackle the following situation:¨ I am 47, a mother of two children, 19 and 22 years. I left my husband four years ago, it turned out he has been unfaithful to me from the very beginnin...
A. 21 October 2011: Love your Mother at arm's length. You are correct that she will ALWAYS be your Mother..... BUT it's not the case that you - as her daughter - need to ALWAYS endure her abuse.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
How sexy should I encourage my wife to dress for Halloween?
Q. OK, so we are going to a Halloween party. Same party we went to last year. Last year there were a few (like 3) fairly sexy costumes. Needless to say, these women got a lot of attention, and I am sure were the topic of conversation among many couples ...
A. 21 October 2011: WHY don't you just let your wifey select her OWN costume, and stay out of that decision?????
Good luck....
P.S. You COULD suggest that she go as a high-priced hooker - with YOU as her pimp - and you might return home with a tidy sum of $$$$... (read in full...)
Problematic relationships and having 4 sex partners at 16
Q. This will be a messy thread, however I'd like to share this with someone, as I do not want to ask for psychologist's or psychiatrist's help, they were of no help... And I'd like to see just a general opinion and/or read other's experiences and ...
A. 21 October 2011: My advice is to forget your past experiences with psychologist(s) and/or psychiatrist(s)... and keep searching until you find one who you like, and who you can trust.... THEN, bear down with him or her and work with them to learn just how your head ... (read in full...)
Her dad caught us in a compromsing situation, now I'm worried about how awkward its going to be when I meet him properly!
Q. I have been dating a girl for a few months now, we are both 22 yrs old. She is a complete daddys girl and always talks about how over protective her dad is. At the very beginning of our relationship I spent the night and when I was leaving in the ...
A. 20 October 2011: I suggest you look him squarely in the eye, offer your hand to be shaken, and - when he takes it - say, "You know, your daughter is ALMOST as hot as your wife!"....
THAT should do it....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Why don't the question askers read their mail?
Q. Hello all, From time to time as a regular Aunt on this site, I receive messages in my mailbox from people needing a personal reply to their problems. I am more than happy to help if I can and I do reply to all messages with help or information w...
A. 20 October 2011: I've gotten just a few individual requests for advice... and all have been read........ (read in full...)
34 year old Saudi woman dating a 50 year old American man for 9 years.
Q. iam 34 years old woman dating 50 years old american man for 9 years,i met him when i was 26 and he was 42 and we are completly commeted to eachother. we are trying to be married 5 years back but my family refuse him for 2 reasons,one, he in not saud...
A. 20 October 2011: Well... you can't make him a Saudi.... and you can't make him your same age or younger.... so it looks like the only thing you can do is get away from the system and scheme (i.e. requiring family approval) that is preventing you and your partner ... (read in full...)
Scared and confused, should I marry him?
Q. hi cupids, ive been with my guy for 3yrs.we have a boy of 2yrs.he's been divorced from a previous marriage.he wanted to marry me last june which i refused.because of the way he treats me.i am very confused.i still stay in his house.i cry almo...
A. 20 October 2011: With all the description you give.... you call this a "relationship"???? .... and did and still do, consider to MARRY this dog?????
C'mon... please wake up and STOP this horrible nightmare that you are living.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Please help me stop obessing about the guy I'm dating!
Q. I just would like a little help to stop me obsessing so much about a guy I'm dating, I'm driving myself mad! I met him through an online dating site, this isnt the first time I've used online dating so I know what to expect. We had an amazing f...
A. 20 October 2011: Sounds like you have a true "Catch 22" on your hands. Here's why:
1. If you DID put out for him during the couple of dates you enumerated, then he may be reverting to the "OK, I got her in bed so now I don't have to be nice to her any more" sy... (read in full...)
B/f isn't an Australian citizen, has run out of money, no studies, no job, is addicted to poker...and he wants to marry me!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months but I've got a few problem... 1.His not an australian citizen. 2.He came here to study and almost finished his diploma until he ran out of money because he spent it on going out everyweekend. 3.no st...
A. 20 October 2011: Carmen: How fast can you run? .... how fast does your car go? Use either or both means to get away from this guy as fast as you can.... To do anything else will be to enable him... a picture that is never pretty for the enabler....
Good ... (read in full...)
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