A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a vigin and me and my partner want to have sex I'm scared that it might hurt from other girls I've heard it hurts I need to know what I can do so it won't hurt . Reply to this Question
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female
reader, auntyR  +, writes (29 October 2011):
it will hurt whether you use extra lube or not. But it will help! Just remember that if it really hurts you don't feel that you have to carry on untill he cums. Stop if it becomes too much. You may experience a little bleeding afterwards, but don't panic this is natural and it;s just your hymen that has broken. I also felt abit faint after as it was abig shock to my body, physically and emotionally. But don't worry the second time will be amazing and the pain of the first time is worth it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): My grandmother taught me something strange, but worked, when I was really young. Butter, yes butter! Leaving butter out of the fridge for several hours then utilizing it later for lubrication works just like a lube, but it also has the effect lube doesn't have, to ease and soothe the pain for those sensitive to the intercourse.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 October 2011):
 It won't hurt from the other girls.... it'll hurt if the lucky GUY acts like an inconsiderate buffoon and forces the issue.....IF you offer your virginity to a great guy, who gives a darn about you, it will be the greatest experience - yet - in your life!!!!!Good luck... and I hope you avoid the buffoon!!!!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Be really turned on. Get yourself close to orgasm so you're very wet/very loose. You also want to slather on the lube. I can't stress lube enough. It's very important. Have him go slowly and gently.
Also have him wear a condom! It won't help it not hurt less, but it will prevent pregnancy and STDs.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Be turned on. Be wet. Use extra lubrication if you aren't sure if you are wet enough. Then have him do it slowly. It shouldn't really hurt at all if he just goes slow and you are actually turned on and want him. Maybe a little sting, but it's not extremely painful or anything. It only hurt a tiny bit when I had my first time, and then at the same time it felt good, and I didn't bleed either.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2011):
 first question:
do YOU WANT to have sex with this boy? if yes then great.
if you are doing it because HE wants it and you just want to please him please don't.
Sex will hurt if you are tense or not well lubed
so best advice:
be very relaxed (a glass of wine might help but if you are under 21 you can't legally drink so take that advice with a grain of salt)
do not rush this.. it might take a bit of time....
make sure to be very well prepped (stimulated) and receptive to this... and therefore very well lubed.
if you are properly excited you may not need extra lube... if you do I suggest a silicone based lube... Ky makes a nice one (NOT cheap figure around 20/25 dollars for a small bottle) not slimy, not greasy, does not rub off like water based lubes do...
do not use oil based lubes they wreck condoms.
also what birth control are you on???
FWIW I did not bleed or HURT when I lost my virginity... sex only hurts now when I'm not well lubed.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (28 October 2011):
It doesnt have to hurt, just go nice and slow. Dont try to be a porn star. I remember my girlfriend and my first time together, it was very short, but no pain. The blood in my bed was a shock though!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): It's gonna hurt the first time since you're a virgin but by the time its your second or third time you're gonna get use to it ! Good Luck
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (28 October 2011):
 First time will only hurt if you are not relaxed and your partner doesn't take things slowly.
I'll be honest with you, the first time will probably hurt, but you need to communicate with your partner at all times! Make sure there is plenty of foreplay and that he takes his time when penetrating you. If you feel any pain, you tell him so he can stop whatever it is he's doing and just stay still until the pain eases.
Don't expect wonderful orgasms or adventurous positions for the first few occasions, as for a little while after the very first time, sex might be slightly uncomfortable, but over time your body will become used to it and it will feel better and better.
Use lube and a condom, take things slowly and hopefully you won't be in too much pain. I'm sure your partner cares for you, and will want to make your first time special.
Good luck! :)
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