A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I was just reading another post and one of the answers was to NEVER make the first move and I suddenly thought "S***! I don't know if I accidentally made a first move or not!" I understand the psychology behind this idea - that some guys like to feel that they have discovered someone special and need to feel all hunterish and so on - that is fine with me. I think that the guy in question is like this. I believe that there really is such a unique and special connection growing between us but I can't honestly remember if I indicated first that I was attracted to him or how exactly this feeling of mutual attraction started - I am pretty sure that it is mutual. I am naturally shy but once I get to know someone I'm quite open with people but definitely not overboard - I'm just warm with people. The problem is that I met this guy through having to discuss a topic that involved a lot of stuff about male and female relationships and interraction and the politics surrounding it and some of my personal views obviously got expressed during the course of that. He may have thought that I was sending out "hidden" messages!!! Looking back I can't remember when exactly in this process I realised that I really like him and if I made it clear that I was interested in him or if this would have just come across as generally "me"/my views relative to what our project was. Aaaagh!What exactly constitutes a "first move" anyway? And how can I be sure that I have not done this? I did ask him if he wanted to be involved in another project that I was organising and he did show interest but I later dropped the project...but this was honestly part of work and I had sound reasons for trying to get it started and then dropping it...does this count as "making a move"? To what extent is it okay for a woman to show her interest?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2011): Thanks everyone! This was really helpful and cheered me up enormously!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Here are a few things that are CLEARLY "the first move":
1. You empty one of his dresser drawers and fill it with your underwear.
2. You tell him that you have sensitive gums... and would he mind keeping "Sensodyne" toothpaste in his bathroom?.
3. You tell him that your EPT results indicate that you and he are going to be "Mommy" and "Daddy" in a few months....
4. One of you sends away for new "return address" stickers that have the OTHER person's address on them...
I'm not too sure about what ISN'T a "first move".....
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A
female
reader, CuddlyLovely  +, writes (28 October 2011):
Yea I guess I understand your pain. While I am still young and not entirely fully experienced in everything, I would say that if the attraction between you two are indeed very strong, it really doesn't matter who made the first move or who said the 'I love you' first. The other person will be glad to have his feelings reciprocated at all.
It is often difficult to know whether or not it is the best to make the first move, all situation varies and you can never accurate predict them. The solution, you simply have to go with your gut feelings. And don't regret it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): I made the first "move." My boyfriend is very shy. If I had thought as you are thinking right now, we would not be together. It would have taken him years to work up the courage to ask me out. He always thanks me for doing what I did, and being blunt about it.Do yourself a favor, and go for the guy. Hunter or not, love is not a "chase" forever, and the hunter appeal dwindles fast. If he's truly into you, you'll pursue each other.
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