Boyfriend taking body building products. Could it be affecting his personality?
Q. Please can you help me,I have been with my boyfriend for 2 amazing years and lived together for over 1 year. In the last couple of weeks my boyfriend has become very down and has mood swings, he seems to have lost interest in everything including ...
A. 19 September 2011: It's quite possible that, if he is consuming a peculiar diet that doesn't contain enough of the right variety of components, that this (diet) will affect his mood......
The best you can do is remind him that you think that he's hot, has a great bo... (read in full...)
How many men still find their wife attractive as she ages?
Q. I hear a lot about men desiring younger women, and of wives being heart broken over their husbands leaving them for a younger woman. So i'm curious, how many men still find their wife attractive as she ages? and after kids? do you still desire her...
A. 19 September 2011: Have you ever heard this tired, old cliche????
"Women marry men and expect to change them. Men marry women and hope that they won't change." ?????
The old "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" really does fit in enduring marriages..... ... (read in full...)
Living with boyfriend and his friend... a disaster! Help!
Q. Need honest advice! Please! I am 24 and currently live with my boyfriend of a year (he's about same age) and there's another room which became available over a month ago - so we needed a third house mate. My boyfriend was keen for one ...
A. 19 September 2011: Let me see if I have this straight:
You and your B/F took in this guy.... you had misgivings and asked for rules, and you and this guy and your B/F agreed to those rules.... and this guy changed his living arrangements such that the rules got test... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's dad doesn't like me!
Q. I am on my school's swim team with my boyfriend. We had a pasta party at his house to build up some carbs for the meet the next day. We were bringing some food that wasn't done yet, and my friend needed to run by her house to grab something, so we ...
A. 19 September 2011: Not everyone is likely to be such a stickler for promptness.... but, evidently, this guy's Dad IS. If there's a "lesson" here... it's to be sure to be on time for your commitments......
I'll bet that - over time - if you keep seeing your B/F... (read in full...)
I'm so sick of his attitude of not caring as soon as I don't follow his ways!
Q. Sometimes I just don't understand my boyfriend or is it me to blame? We always fight at least once a week and I'm fed up. And he never wants to talk about the fight later because he says he'll get mad again . Like today , I was suppose to meet him ...
A. 19 September 2011: Your submittal could have been lifted from a textbook about classic passive-aggressive controlling behaviour.
The only "question" is: Do you want to continue in this cycle with this guy? .... or do you want to come to your senses, see what it'... (read in full...)
How do you chose between love and youthfulness???
Q. Hi guys, I have been with my boyfriend now for a year and a half and I love him greatly, he treats me great and will do anything for me. The problem is, recently we have been going through are up’s and down’s. The thing is he is 10 years older than ...
A. 19 September 2011: I think the key phrase in your submittal is: "....trying to put both side of the argument together..."
You don't describe a "relationship" which HAS two sides. Instead, you have one wherein HE makes all the rules and controls your behaviou... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking my bfs are cheating on me!!!
Q. Hey people.. I've tried for the last 10 months to try and "move on" my previous relationships about them cheating on me. I've been in 3 relationships since and all of them ended horribly with me accusing them of cheating on me and "doing stuff". I...
A. 19 September 2011: Aa little bit of jealousy is understandable and maybe even healthy......
What you describe - your thoughts and behaviour - sound more phonic. I suggest that you seek professional counselling......
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I'm going to visit friends in the town where I went to university, but I'm worried about running in to my ex. What should I do?
Q. I'm going to visit friends back in the town where I went to university, but I'm worried about running in to my ex. Mine and my ex's relationship was short term, but we got on incredibly well with each other and formed a strong, loving relations...
A. 19 September 2011: You are close.....
This only qualifies as a "Catch Eleven".... since it's all in YOUR mind, and not in the minds of others....
Go and have a good time. If you run in to the ex-..... SO WHAT???????... (read in full...)
My man isn't willing to give me the legal marriage; he only wants the 'traditional marriage'!
Q. hi, i have been with my guy for 3yrs we even have a baby boy.he is divorced with 3 kids from the previous marriage.he really loves but the problem is that my man doesnt want us to have marriage ...
A. 19 September 2011: What is the difference between "marriage under the ordinance" and "traditional" marriage????
It "sounds" as if one is "for real" .... and the other is "for appearances sake".....
If that's so, I suggest you insist upon the "real" thing...... (read in full...)
How can I be sure my married lover will come for me?
Q. How can I be sure that he will come for me. He is married lives 2,000 away...with a son of 16...he is waiting for the son to go to college before we can be together. He phones when he can...emailing has stopped because his wife has now got access ...
A. 19 September 2011: Those are good doubts to have.... since they are realistic in the face of the odds of about 99 to 1 that your married B/F will ever really follow through and "....that he will come for me."
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship with my ex GF's cousin, just to take revenge from my ex for dumping me!
Q. Dear Cupid, Over the last six months, guys I have been in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend’s first cousin and pretending to love her but actually I am using her to settle score with my Ex who dumped for no reason almost one year ago afte...
A. 19 September 2011: There are two critical phrases in your submittal. Those are: "...then I become jerk again... and, "...my girlfriend’s injustice pushed me into becoming a total jerk ."
You really know the gist of your situation, and its solution. YOU, Sir, are... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby with this married man?
Q. I have a serious question that I know will ruffle A LOT of feathers but I'm sorry, I really need advice, I've been seeing a married man for a while and were very close, best friends more than lovers. Recently I have been getting urges to have a ...
A. 19 September 2011: Whoa, tisha.... You tell it like it is, don't you????
I hope that the woman who submitted this sees your response and understands who astute (wise and correct) it is...... (read in full...)
G/f said she was thinking of another girl, not me
Q. My girlfriend, whose also my best friend(we're both girls), got high the other day. When she was listening to music, she told me she was thinking about another girl, one that wasn't me. Is this a little thing or should I be worried?...
A. 19 September 2011: What were you and she listening to? IF it was Lady Gaga.... and she was thinking about Lady Gaga, I don't have any idea why you felt you needed to make this submittal....... (read in full...)
Should I trust my partner? Found photos of his ex locked up
Q. Hi, i'v been with my boyfriend for 8 years now and have 4 children together. When we moved house my 4 year old at the time pulled an envelope out and inside were pictures of his ex. I questioned him he said he didn't now he still had them and he ...
A. 19 September 2011: Two items:
1. Tell your B/F that your kids snoop a lot.... so he should be sure to secure his old "stuff" better, and,
2. Figure out why you have 4 kids with a guy who is not your husband..... ... (read in full...)
I love her but I don't know if she can handle this whole distance thing.
Q. So its this LDR thing that is just annoying as hell, this whole distance thing is sooo hard...I think i can handle it but I'm not sure if she can too, she has proved me that she loves me a lot and i do ofc as well, its just that i don't know if she ...
A. 19 September 2011: I see this as a classic case of YOU projecting on to HER your feelings..... There's no future in that....
Please take a few minutes to reconsider, and, if you have some questions about this LDR - AND YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT IT - resubmit it (or, ... (read in full...)
He has a life totally separate from me but keeps coming back to me!
Q. So, I've been with him for over 5yrs, rocky 5yrs anyways. we lived together for almost the whole 5 yrs too. We got an apartment 2yrs ago only for financial and other reasons I can't say, only my name is on the lease. fast forward a year, he starts ...
A. 17 September 2011:
I picked out these four phrases (quoted) from your submittal:
"... he comes by whenever he feels like it...."
"Why the hell cant i get away from him??? "
"....he keeps cpming back to me and i keep letting him..."
"...but dont think he... (read in full...)
Why can't they get over divorce and be civil to each other?
Q. My boyfriend has been divorced for 5 years and we’ve been together 18 months. He's 44. Our relationship is good. The one thing that bothers me is that he has a lot of arguments with the ex-wife, mostly about money, and what a bad father he is ...
A. 17 September 2011: You can't force people to be civil.
You CAN ignore them when they behave that way.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Online dating..men who say they don't want children
Q. Hi All I have a bit of a silly question..... Recently I decided to take the plunge into the scary world of online dating. I didn't know what I would find or if it would work for me (at present, it hasnt - mainly old men, people who are uneducat...
A. 17 September 2011: You "owe" it to any man who says he doesn't want to spawn children that he MEANS it..... AND, if you DO (want kids) those guys are not the ones for you.....
P.S. Guys DON'T change.... That's the great ironies of ALL relationships..... i.e:
... (read in full...)
How should I respond when a guy I'm dating says, "I love you"?
Q. what should I respond when a guy I am dating said "I love you" what should I say if a guy I am dating said "I love you"? if I want to find out his "I love you" is not just for a casual relationship but for a committed (to Marriage, I mean) relation...
A. 17 September 2011: Here's a suggestion:
IF you love him... then you may respond by saying "I love you, too."
IF you DON'T really love him.... either because you really don't... OR because you think it is premature in whatever is going on between the two ... (read in full...)
Everyone around me is either getting engaged or married but I feel like I'm going to be single forever..
Q. I feel like I'm going to be single forever. I just turned 25 and I feel so alone. Everyone around me is either getting engaged or married. It's lonely when my friends are talking about wedding dresses and center pieces and I have no one. I find ...
A. 17 September 2011: I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that, statistically, you're likely to live another 50 years or more....
The bad news is that your submittal... the details and tone and your approach to life appears to be right out of the Instr... (read in full...)
Hubby having/had an affair???
Q. Had or having an affair? hes 31 but 2 months ago he trashed his 24 year old friend by revealing her sexual antics on radio,the number of men she slept with and who's she sleeping with while hes talking and 3 weeks ago he said hes a fan of the same...
A. 17 September 2011: I read your submittal four times and STILL couldn't make a logical jump from your "facts" to your conclusion.
Then, I realized: What difference does it make???? Is the guy in-question your hubby? Is the woman in-question your sister or daugh... (read in full...)
Should I believe in the fortune teller?
Q. Hello everyone here in Dearcupid, I had something which is hard for me and make a decision. I went to met a fortune teller yesterday because i some people said he is famous at seeing people destiny, and he say a lot of bad about my future, he said ...
A. 16 September 2011: Congratulations.... Your English is fine.... It's good enough to recognize that you're being very naive to believe that a soothsayer has ANY IDEA what is in your future....
I suggest that you FORGET anything/everything that was said to you by t... (read in full...)
Whats wrong with my husband.does he love me or not??
Q. my husband was considered a very wicked upstart newcomer who was regarded by many as gods gift to women.he is very wealthy and used to be a playboy.but this went into his head and he used to sexually harass women who rejected him or would get ...
A. 16 September 2011: Boy, did YOU buy a "pig in a poke"... I can only offer you lots of prayers and good luck.... since this "hubby" sounds like an ultimate player.... and YOU sound like you're going to have lots of angst and disappointment whilest you spend time with ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend's ex calling him and he keeps telling her that I am with him?
Q. Ok. So I am with my boyfriend of many years last night along with our son and his daughter from his previous marriage. His ex wife calls and the conversation goes something like this "my girlfriend is here, my girlfriend is here, my girlfriend (my ...
A. 16 September 2011: IF he was talking to his ex- (... as Athena points out... may NOT have been the case).... then you need to ask him what was behind this call....
HE may think that he is "the total package"... but that doesn't even remotely imply that YOU shou... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cant control himself, what should I do?
Q. What should I do about my boyfriend? So I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and it has been pretty good. We have good and bad times like any relationship but recently our arguements have upset me. We both have a short temper and...
A. 16 September 2011: Everybody gets crdeit for their own rage. No matter how hard you try to deflect it to someone else,... the "fact" is that your rage is YOUR rage, and no matter how you try to justify it, NOBODY ELSE "causes" your rage.....
Think of that....... (read in full...)
Should I insist on a paternity test?
Q. I'm very angry at a friend for telling everyone her daughter is my child. This woman and her husband were close friends of my X wife and I years ago. The girl does resemble me, but I never had any kind of sex with this woman. Now half the town is ...
A. 16 September 2011: Calm down!!!!! If you didn't do nik-nik with this woman, then this girl isn't your daughter. What more do you need THAN THE TRUTH (which YOU know)!?!??!?!?!??!?!
Sc**w anybody who thinks differently........ (read in full...)
My ex is rubbing her new relationship in my face
Q. I'm new here and i reallllllllllyy neeeed some help I had a very rocky relationship with my girlfriend for 11 months. Everything was cool at first, but things just changed. She was controlling and never let me do what I needed to do. It was a...
A. 16 September 2011: WHY would you expend even an iota of your mental energy worrying in the manner that caused you to make this submittal????? You and she are THROUGH!!!!! Get on with your life....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Why am I so infatuated with him. We haven't even spoke yet
Q. Long story short: Just started college, I've noticed a guy who is in 2 of my classes, didn't really notice at first (apart from the fact I was physically attracted to him) but now I cant stop thinking about him. Strange. So on the first day we met...
A. 16 September 2011: I recommend that you spend more time studying and less time thinking about this guy.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he nevers gets jealous?
Q. I find this hard to believe. When I pointed out jealousy is a basic human emotion experienced at least once by all, he admitted he had felt it "occasionally" when he "considered things" (?) But aside from that, he had "no experience" with the ...
A. 16 September 2011: Yes... AND it don't rain in Indianapolis in the summertime.... there's no such thing a Doctor Zuess, Disney Land and Mother Goose and nursery rhymes....
C'mon.......... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty about masturbating to girls I know?
Q. I'm 13, and I've been masturbating for a bit now, and I've decided to be ethical about it, and not use porn. So I've been imagining girls I know. It works, well! But afterword I feel guilty about it. 'Cuz one is someone I've known for a while. I ...
A. 15 September 2011: What you do in private is just that; private.... You need not lay some sort of guilt trip on yourself simply for doing something that is patently normal....
Have fun...... (read in full...)
My abusive ex-girlfriend has came back in my life, how should I treat her now?
Q. I had abusive girlfriend for 16 months before I ran away from her apartment in June this year. She was 2 years younger than me. Outside, I don’t think there could have been beautiful girl I have to see to date on this on earth like her, inside s...
A. 14 September 2011: Let me add my proverb (not really mine!!!)... "Once bitten, twice, shy".....
Don't be an idiot!!!!..... (Unless those knockers really ARE such that you can't resist!!!!)... (read in full...)
My hope keeps me from moving on
Q. Help, i can't get over my ex boyfriend... I am gay and i believe he's at least bi. It's been 2 months since he dumped me and i still miss him so badly.. He left me for another girl which i believe was his rebound since they moved on so fast and h...
A. 14 September 2011: If you'd like to learn about the value of "hope"... ask a long-time Chicago Cubs fan about that.... THEY have held out hope since the early 1900's that the Cubbies were, finally, going to land a pennant. Hasn't happened yet!
You, Sir, are in t... (read in full...)
True or False: Men always think the grass may be greener with someone else?
Q. This is a question for men to answer true or false. If you're female, do not answer. This is an unanswerable question by a woman. Here is the back story, or skip to the bottom for the question. Last night while watching t.v. a character we both...
A. 14 September 2011: Yes.... every man keeps an eye out for a hotter and sexier girl than the one he's with.....
Of course, it's a fool's errand... and it is the basis for dozens - even thousands - of damaged and destroyed relationships... because, even tho' we know ... (read in full...)
How long should it take for someone to introduce you to their kids?
Q. Hi All, I have been dating a guy for six months, He is separated with three kids under 13. He has not introduced me to them yet.Is that normal? He sees them regularly. Thanks. :o)...
A. 14 September 2011: This is a pretty sensitive issue... and I'm loath to suggest that there is "a time" after which a new squeeze/partner SHOULD expose you to their kids.... There are plenty of variables in the situation... and one needs to look at those which appl... (read in full...)
From start to finish in 4.5 months?
Q. I'll keep this short as possible. If a couple met and dated 4 1/2 months (long distance) then got married and had a kid within a year...what are the chances it wt wil. Work? Please help...thanks...
A. 13 September 2011: Like any other marriage, in this country, it has about a 50/50 chance of succeding beyond 5 years........ (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't seem to know if he wants me or not
Q. my partner (or ex partner as it stands at the moment) is 51 years old, I am 47. We have been together on and off for 12 months. We have just come back from a holiday in spain. We took both our daughters, mine is 10 and his is 14. They fell out ...
A. 13 September 2011: Of course, you're wasting your time. Read you submittal again. In it, you enumerate the many reasons why you shouldn't get too close to him.... IF you DO choose to get close, ... then also plan on getting hurt... WHO KNOWS how many times befor... (read in full...)
He left money for me on the bedside table and left without saying goodbye
Q. Hi I met a guy at a festival and we had really good sex so we arranged to meet up again back home. We live different sides of the country so we met in the middle and got a hotel for the night. I was aware that this was just sex however what hap...
A. 13 September 2011: This guy-friend is very saavy.... Most girls would not only make him pay for the s#x.... but also make him pay for the room, breakfast and for gas for the drive home..... I think you should tender him and invoice for the rest (of what he didn... (read in full...)
Wife got drunk and molested in her sleep at a party. How to put back together the pieces?
Q. I trust my wife, and I truly believe her when she told me it was a mistake. My wife went to a party and drank. She felt too drunk to drive and didn't want to wake me and our child up to come get her. She texted me that she was staying the nigh...
A. 13 September 2011: I love it when people use alcohol as their fallback excuse for whatever they did that they KNOW was wrong, and don't want to admit that they enjoyed it........ (read in full...)
My husband is very particular about how he likes oral, is this normal?
Q. Hello, I have written in before and gotten excellent advice. My last posting was about a week ago about my mom objecting to the way my husband and I treat each other. We have three kids (biological), 8, 5, and 2, and have the adoption of an 1...
A. 13 September 2011: Cripes!!!! If all it takes for the two of you to have a "perfect" situation wherein you perform oral for him.... then go for it!!!
It would be quite another story if he said he wanted his Mother in the room.... or needed to have a donkey observe.... (read in full...)
What would you do if you had a girlfriend, but another woman was very loud about liking you?
Q. I think I want to ask this question to guys out there. Lets say you have a girlfriend of 8 months (not living together), you get along well, haven't really had any big problems, you've met her kids, you go on dates every friday and saturday and ...
A. 13 September 2011: I say see both of them when you prefer... .and let the chips fall where they may. Neither is entitled to "own" you..... Good luck...... (read in full...)
My girlfriend just told me she wanted to be friends out of the blue. What should I do?
Q. Dear cupid.Am kind of confuse about my relationship right now my girlfriend wokeup one morningand told me she don't want a boyfriend any more that we can just be friend and noting attached to it. I ask her the reasons but she never gave any ...
A. 13 September 2011: I don't believe this is an "either/or" situation.... That is..... You can stay away from her... (not be too close and available to her).... AND you can look for and consider taking time with another girl who strikes your fancy, and who might have ... (read in full...)
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