A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex wife and I were together since we were 20. Got married at 21 and had our first kid at 23; each proceeding child is 1-3 years apart from the last. (We have 5 kids.) We got a divorce 4 years ago because, somewhere along the line, we stopped paying attention to each other. We even had our youngest (who is now 7) to try and mend what was already broken and it helped... for about a year.Anyway, she and a doctor who recently transferred to her hospital (she's a nurse) started dating 6 months ago and the bastard proposed to her after 3 months! She's told me nothing about this guy other than he's an "older man". At this point, I was already missing her bad and I hadn't gone out on a date since she and I were still dating, so over 20 years without that kind of experience... I'm fucked.I still can't believe she's gone, though The mother of my children, my partner and best friend for more than half my life! I know it's been 4 years but I can't take it anymore! They haven't set a date or anything and our oldest has told me once or twice that his mom's only with the guy to piss me off and she doesn't really care for him much. At first, I was relieved but then I thought she's a bitch!How could she do this to me!? How could she do this to the kids!? Well, we recently had lunch together because I somehow convinced her that it would be nice to catch up. At first, we talked about work and the kids and then we got down to the nitty-gritty. She told me she does miss me and she feels like she made a huge mistake but she's grown sort of fond of her "fiance"... bastard... but she doesn't love him. She TOLD me this looking me in the eye.I then asked her why she was going to marry someone she didn't even love and she told me because she doesn't know how to be single. I told her she had a solid life with me and the kids and if we work on it, we could pull through this. She started crying then and apologized and I hugged her mainly because I hadn't felt her curves in years. It literally felt like the first time touching her; it excited me and that's when we had a "moment". We were so close to kissing but unfortunately, she came to and said it was wrong and she left the restaurant with tears in her eyes. That killed me inside.At the restaurant, I never told her I still loved her but I don't know what to say after 4 years of not being married. It still feels so strange not to have a ring on my finger and not wake up with her beautiful face next to mine. I'm her country boy with a Chevy truck from out in the sticks and she's my city girl with a Chevy Tahoe who prefers her blue jeans to that red dress she has in the back of the closet. That's the way it's always been and god... I miss it. So bad.According to my ex, this doctor does know about me and has met 2 of our 5 kids. According to my oldest, this doctor sort of views me as a threat but because he's a doctor, he think he's gonna win. Well, I have a PhD, too; in astronautical engineering. I'm just as educated as he is; if not, more so. I just don't care to type well enough right now because I'm pissed and exhausted.I'm not much into rap but that song "Over and Over Again" by that rapper Nelly and my buddy, Tim McGraw keeps playing in my head. It's distracting and I want my woman back! What the hell is a desperate, middle-aged guy to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): OMG this sounds very creepy indeed! I agree with the other posters a restraining order shall be issued, and you should keep your nose to your own business. She is a beautiful queen, and has all the right to be happy in life like anyone else, but you with your selfishness and destructive behavior want to destroy her and the beautiful relationship she is having, because deep inside you envy her for being able to feel what you can't. This is evil!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 October 2011):
 She's not "doing a darn thing" TO YOU!!! YOU're the one who is making this a personal matter....I suggest you step back and consider that there is a WHOLE WORLD out there that has little or nothing to do with YOU..... and, when you finally find out how insignificant you are in the realm of the entire cosmos, you stop feeling sorry for yourself, and get on with your life.... After all.... your EX- has done so!!!!!!Good luck....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Four years ago you divorced and all of a sudden NOW that she's moving on with her life you want her back?
where where you during the divorce process why didn't you fight it then.
WHY NOW do you want her back all of a sudden that she's got someone?
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A
female
reader, Godchild +, writes (28 October 2011):
Im going through a divorce now,but it so much i feel i need to tell my husband so much things unsaid. If you are serious about your feelings i say you fight for your love. Dont let her marry.that man. She not over you. You guys have years compared to six months. Go get your wife back. This time dont let her go.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): People like you need to learn how to 'respect' other people's choices. You had your chance with her, and you had it for ling enough. You blew it off, and she found happiness elsewhere. You asked her back and she said NO. Now what part of no is too hard to understand? You didn't stop after 4 whole years, and she didn't get a restraining order against you yet, very possibly for the sake of the children.
Stop messing this woman about. She deserves to be happy with someone who loves her fir who she is, and appreciates her. She is a complete person just like you are, and has the right to choose the proper and 'decent' man she wants to be with, which she actually did.
Now you have the choice between letting her be happy, live happy yourself and move on, or continue being a creep and disturb her life further. Think wisely and decide.
Good luck,
Emily
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Hi,
Please, don't let your ex-wife marry this man.... You are each other first love, have 5 beautiful children, and after all these years apart you both still love each other. I got so sad when you said she left the restaurant in tears? She's not happy..... You need to talk to her, you need to tell her that you still love her more than ever, and tell her you want her back... Tell her you want your family together forever....
Do whatever it takes to get her back, before it's too late....
Best wishes/ good luck!!!
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