A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone here is my problem me and this man are fwb, I wanted more and I told him but he didn't say anything back. he treats me quite badly, we arrange for me to stay at his and then he forgets all about it. we arrange a night out then when the day comes he says he has to work, he doesn't text me hardly we live very close to each other and I don't see him. I have found a womans hairbrush on the floor in his bedroom but the problem is I can't seem to break away from him, as stupid as this is and how bad he treats me I am totally in love with him even though I know I shouldn't be. I'm not going to tell him I love him as I know he would run a mile. I am getting depressed over this, when we first met he would always come round and he would text me when he was at work but he doesn't do any of that now. I want to talk to him about this but I have no idea what to say? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, thank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): "I told him but he didn't say anything back. he treats me quite badly"Which means that he doesn't want to be anything more than a sex partner, and he will treat you badly till you get the message and leave.He's using you.Badly.Yet, you want him.Which means you have fears you are not dealing with in a constructive manner. Get some counseling help, cut off contact with him completely, and if he tries to get back with you don't even meet with him.If he gives you more some day, almost certainly he will never treat you like you deserve to be treated, but you will always think that you deserve to be treated badly.You deserve to be loved by someone who feels like you rock their world, and who rocks your world. Look for them.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 October 2011):
I think you're suffering badly from low self esteem if you think that this guy is worth any more of your time. You may want one thing, but it is painfully clear that he couldn't give a damn. I think the most important thing that you can do is walk away from him and really focus on your own life. It's quite saddening that you are allowing this man to treat you this way. You shouldn't allow it. Ever. Please leave him and really focus on your own life and happiness. This guy simply represents everything that is wrong about relationships.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (21 October 2011):
 Looks like HE is living in a "FWB" situation.... while YOU are holding out for a REAL "RELATIONSHIP".... which your "FRIEND" is not about to participate in......
Re-think your intentions, preferences and desires... AND the list of men for whom you put out!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011): Why allow someone to use you just because its better than nothing?
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (21 October 2011):
 Why do you want to tell him your feelings? You're a booty call, the only thing you should be telling him is to f**k off and move yourself onto someone who respects you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011): Forget the idea that this is a FWB situation. It is not because you love him and you are being treated like dirt. That's not 'Friends with benefits' at all. No matter how strongly you feel for him, if it is not returned it is hopeless. You can only walk away, break contact and rebuild your life. It will be hard for you but be strong.
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (21 October 2011):
 Honey, get out of this toxic situation - what I'm going to say isn't pretty to hear, but you need to hear it.
Your nothing but sex to him, I know that may seem incredibly hurtful but that is what a FWB is - sex, no emotional connection just sex.
I've been there, actually found a girls t-shirt... Of course it was his sisters. Despite it being a size 8 and her being at least 14.
No-one wants to feel their being used, take control move away it's going no where except you getting even more hurt than you are. In my case I was happy with it just being sex, but as soon as I saw that t-shirt I knew someone else was involved and I don't want to be responsible for someone else getting hurt, plus it was a BIG wake up call I knew it would never go anywhere.
Put on your trainers and run, and find a nice man.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 October 2011):
 Well my suggestion is to end it. You are hurting. You love him and want more and all he wants is sex. He's not going to change that because you are putting out for him.
You gave us a list of what's wrong..
he treats me badly
he cancels plans at the last minute
he does not contact you
he does not see you
you believe he has other partners (the hairbrush)
his relationship with you is causing depression
so now can you give me a list of what's right with this relationship and why you love him.... (at least give it to yourself)... look at the two lists... decide which is more worth it...
IF you go to him and talk to him about it, he will says words you want to hear but his actions will speak much louder than his words ever can.
Listen to his actions....
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