B/f isn't an Australian citizen, has run out of money, no studies, no job, is addicted to poker...and he wants to marry me!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months but I've got a few problem... 1.His not an australian citizen. 2.He came here to study and almost finished his diploma until he ran out of money because he spent it on going out everyweekend. 3.no st...
A. 20 October 2011: Carmen: How fast can you run? .... how fast does your car go? Use either or both means to get away from this guy as fast as you can.... To do anything else will be to enable him... a picture that is never pretty for the enabler....
Good ... (read in full...)
What is a "success profile" for a job interview?
Q. This isnt a love or sex question, i have a job interview, and the lady told me to come in before my interview to do a success proflie, the only problem, i have no idea what that is, and can i do it the same day of my interview just earlier??? Please ...
A. 19 October 2011: I'm guessing that the "success profile" is some sort of attitude survey which forward-thinking companies use to learn about prospective employees.....
My advice is: Relax, take the survey, be honest, and let the chips fall where they may........ (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend's best friend is gay...
Q. One of my boyfriend's best friends is an Australian guy who recently had to move back to Australia after living as roommates with my boyfriend for around a year here in the United States. They've gone on road trips together, shared a room, changed ...
A. 19 October 2011: Sounds to me like "everyone" is asking questions about something that is, really, none of their business....... (read in full...)
Advice for pursuing men in their forties?
Q. I met a man a few weeks ago through a social group. I got a good vibe and find him attractive in an unconventional way. I would have guessed he was in his mid-thirties, but I've just discovered he's 46 via Google. I'm 30. The oldest person I've ...
A. 19 October 2011: Here's a key bit of information you need to know about men...
From about age 6... and continuing until we die.... we tend to act like 5-year-olds......
Good luck......... (read in full...)
Could this just be some twisted way of ending the relationship with me because I was a bad kisser?
Q. I have this guy in a college class of mine and he has been flirting with me a lot. Yesterday I finally told him he should ask me out. We went to his house and watched a movie, ended up kissing and cuddling during the entire film. So he walks me back ...
A. 19 October 2011: Any girl who makes her lips available to a guy who wants to kiss her.... IS A GOOD KISSER!!! You may put that out of your mind, now....
Look, the guy gave you a plausible story which was as complete and conclusive as it needed to be. Let it l... (read in full...)
Does it mean he cares if he refuses to make her the other woman?
Q. Is this a fair statement? If a married man has a female friend he is attracted to and she is attracted to him, does it mean he cares about her if he refuses to make her the other woman? Any opinions?...
A. 19 October 2011: I'm guessing that YOU'RE this "female friend"... and you're going crazy trying to figure out it this guy is going to take the plunge with you.....
Considering what dogs we guys often prove to be... I'd say that he will feign caring about you UNTI... (read in full...)
How do I convince her that I'm worth it?
Q. I am currently trying to mend a relationship that ended because she freaks out at any sign of commitment. We still talk everyday and hang out, she said she doesn't want anything but then says she wants to try and that she really likes me. every time ...
A. 19 October 2011: You don't. There is no question of your worthiness.... The only "question" is whether or not she intends to have some sort of relationship... with ANYONE.
She's really sent you lots of signals.... such as talking and hanging out with you... A... (read in full...)
Is this a fair arrangement?
Q. Hi, I am a single mom, with one pre-school child. I live with my boyfriend. My question is about expenses. We split the rent 50/50, I buy all the groceries, and he pays all the car expenses(it is his car). He will not share any expenses regardin...
A. 19 October 2011: IF your "relationship" has deteriorated such that you are trying to quantify it financially, then it's probably pretty much on its last legs....
Good luck......
P.S. The arrangement you described is pretty fair....... (read in full...)
Contact fizzles out after a date, what am I doing wrong?
Q. I have been a member on a dating website for a couple of months now,and have met a few different people,and the same thing seems to happen. There seems to be interest at first,and then it fizzles out. I actually made it through a few dates with t...
A. 19 October 2011: Sounds to me like you need to use that age-old device that all the girls have used with me.....
Next time you have a date with a guy.... and you and he kiss goodnight..... lean in and whisper in his ear, "If you date me a couple of more times, y... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex and now I'm worrying if I caught something!
Q. I had unprotected sex 16 days ago. The guy it was with took off the condom without my knowledge for a couple seconds (I was furious!) but I asked if he had any STD's and he said no. I have an appointment to be tested on Monday. As of day 10 after ...
A. 15 October 2011: Makes no difference what we think. Go see your gynocologist......... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I don't think its a good idea for him and his kids to stay in my flat without offending him?
Q. My boyfriend of 1 year has 2 kids, 9 and 11, who live with their mom and they are going to stay with him for the holiday in December. He’s living with his elderly mother and father for financial reasons – he had to give up his flat because he could ...
A. 15 October 2011: Here's my suggestion. You get him together, alone, in some nonconfrontational locale... and you sit him down, and look him in the eye and say, ' i believe that you think that you and your two kids are going to stay with me, in my flat, over the ... (read in full...)
Is my ex jealous about my new man?
Q. After my ex bf rejected me weeks later I met this wonderful man and we had amazing sex iam falling for him he's a friend also so since my ex didn't want me and cheated on me I've moved on my ex wants to be friends so since he wants to be friends I ...
A. 15 October 2011: I suggest that you not make a lot of contact with your ex-.
WHY should you/would you????? He seems Hell-bent on being an a**hole.... and all YOU can "get" from him is more of his vitriole.. Give him UP!!!!!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
What's it like to have a girlfriend?
Q. Whats it like to have a girlfriend? I never had one and I'm very curious about love and sex. I heard relationships can be stressful and can be a pain in the neck sometimes. I really want to have a girlfriend, I guess I haven't met the right girl ...
A. 13 October 2011: Please let me know, when you find out!!!....... (read in full...)
Neither my cousin or I are getting our sexual needs met by our partners and are thinking of meeting up once in a while to 'satisfy' each other, any opinions?
Q. Ok, I am a 28 year old married male that has a 29 year old married female cousin. I have been married for 5 years and she has been married for 1. We are first cousins and have always been very close growing up. She only has sisters and I only ...
A. 12 October 2011: You are both adults.... so can do as you darn-well please.
Note, of course, that this STILL is cheating on your respective spouses.... so THAT will always be in the background....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my best friend and it's complicated
Q. A couple months ago, I finally told my female best friend that I've had feelings for her for 3 years. She is also lesbian, but she admitted that likes someone she'll never get (another married woman who's 10 years older than we are) and she can't ...
A. 12 October 2011: Sounds to me like you've got a solid friendship there. .... and who would want to jeopardize that?? AS for the unbalanced romantic feelings... I'd suggest that you live your life as you have in the past.... stay close with this good friend.... ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want a relationship but said he doesn't want me talking to other men, what is that all about?
Q. Im so confuse the guy that im be have sex with that said he didnt want a realationship just told me that i cant talk 2 any other men what all that about i was talk to him and his workmate that is my bestfriend ...
A. 12 October 2011: Sexybabe: This is the classic "guy" behaviour wherein we don't feel compelled to be nice to you.... BUT we don't want you to escape from us and find a nice guy who WILL be nice to you.....
It's probably best that you part ways with this guy and ... (read in full...)
Is this evidence of palpable emotions?
Q. when a man and a woman who know each other for many yrs and rarely talk, when the have a nervous conversation, could this be evidence of palpable emotions? the man would ask the woman "how are you?" the woman would say "i am ok under the ...
A. 12 October 2011: Am I the only one who wouldn't recognize a "palpable emotion" if I tripped over it?... (read in full...)
I'm married but struggling with the sexual tension between me and a colleague....
Q. A few months ago I started working at a school as a Teaching Assistant and I have found myself becoming really attracted to one of the Teachers I work with. The problem is Im married with a child, only recently married. When I first started wo...
A. 10 October 2011: Let's use your request: "Could someone please tell me something to help put me off him!!"
Go, take an assistant teaching position as some school that is no less than 1200 miles (about 1800 km) away....
There, you have your question answere... (read in full...)
How do I approach a group of girls?
Q. I need tips in a few areas to improve my chances will the ladies. Firstly, how do I approach girls in groups and get them to like me? I'm not too bad with them if they are by themselves but I get nervous when approaching a women or a number of women ...
A. 10 October 2011: I am an old guy... so I can give you this CRITICAL piece of advice:..... NEVER believe that you can get close to a girl who is in a pack!!!!!
You have to "cut out" the girl you want to make out with (It's sort of a "cowboy" thing)... THEN get her ... (read in full...)
Married. Almost a father. But I love him! Help!
Q. I have a problem and I can't tell anyone I know. I'm 36, I've been single for most of my life and have always held a torch for a man I met at University. We recently ran into eachother on the work circuit and all these feelings I've had bottle u...
A. 10 October 2011: This makes me think of that ballard from back in the 70s by the group "Left Bank".... "Just walk away, Renee"....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Can masturbation change people?
Q. Many people masturbate. Some people more than others. The question is, can it change people? Do you think it can make people into a sex-addict? Or maybe even narcissist? I've been masturbating for a long time now, and I want to know, what is the ...
A. 10 October 2011:
It's ruined my vision........ (read in full...)
I have this nasty habit of making fun of girlfriend's class. People, please help me get rid of this nasty habit?
Q. I am deeply in love with this gorgeous girl and we have been in a relationship for ten years. I was born in a rich family and hardly made myself sweat for anything I wanted my life whereas she’s middle class but with decent education background ...
A. 10 October 2011: Back on September 20th, we had a similar question... and my answer to that question applies to you, herein. To wit:
"It's well-to-do people like you who make people of lesser means cringe. From your description of the situation, I sense that you... (read in full...)
We broke up and he hasn't called me or texted yet
Q. Okay .. Umm so me and my boyfriend had a fight the other night and it turned out to be pretty nasty unfortunately we both were hell mad at each other and were being really selfish. In the end he was like "lets end it here only", I said "if that what ...
A. 10 October 2011: Sound to me like it's over. WHY would you expect him to call after that?????
None of the jockeys whips his horse after they'be put the collar of roses over the neck of the winning horse at the Kentuckey Derby!!!!!... (read in full...)
I would try and find a j ob if we could move in together...
Q. I am married but want to leave my wife and leave home. I have met a woman who lives many miles from me. We would love to live together but she does not earn enough for us to live. I am unemployed at the moment but would try and find a job if we ...
A. 10 October 2011: I think you're mixing up at least two things that should each be taken separately.....
1. If you don't like your wife, then GET OUT!!!
2. If your wife wants to you get out.... then get out....
3. If you haven't been able to land a job.... (read in full...)
I slept with him after the first date, he hasn't contact me yet, and now I'm obsessed
Q. I feel I am obsessed with a guy I slept with on a first date. I have never felt such incredible connection before, it wasn't just physical, it was emotional and spiritual too, really cannot explain it - it was crazy! I keep looking him up online ...
A. 10 October 2011: I'm sorry to read that you fell in to one of the oldest traps in all of history....
Guys pretend to like girls in order to get them to put out..... Girls, as a result of putting out, believe that they have begun a relationship.....
Problem... (read in full...)
I can say for a fact that we are both in love with each other and we always will love each other
Q. Me and this girl have been dating for over a year and I can say for a fact that we are both in love with each other and we always will love each other. We've never cheated on each other. Here recently in the relationship, we haven't been able to see ...
A. 10 October 2011: Please remember.... "always" is an AWFULLY long time!!!!!... (read in full...)
Should I dump my boyfriend ?
Q. Should i dump my boyfriend ? I stayed at his place from thursday until yesterday and we argued on friday and saturday.we argued on friday because he wanted us to lose our virginity together,especially as it was his birthday.we couldnt though as i ...
A. 10 October 2011: I'm a little surprised that you could submit this at your ages.... BUT, I've been off base before about who knows what at what age.....
That said.... This guy you describe sounds uber-self-centered.... and I can't begin to imagine why you'd wa... (read in full...)
I really want him back, but does this plan make sense?
Q. All opinions needed and welcome....and sorry for the lengthy read. So I had been in a LDR for 3 years and then in April he dumped me because he became depressed. It took me a couple of months to get over it but I managed but I still love him. ...
A. 10 October 2011: It sounds to me like you are chasing him... THAT is a very likely recipe for disappointment. I suggest you make you life on your own and don't give him a second thought until and unless HE initiates contact with YOU......
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend Peter Pan?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out a few years. At the beginning I admit I told him pretty clearly what I always wanted from life-to be a wife and mother. He told me at the time he understood but wasnt ready. Scroll on afew years and we are both ...
A. 10 October 2011: Many of us guys find the "peter Pan" syndrome to be the most pleasant way to get through adult life.... You may run in to this again, in the future.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
He seems happy to have a FB relationship, but I find myself wanting more
Q. I met this guy online a year ago.Yes it was based on sex.. but mind blowing sex. a year later and i find myself wanting something more, im just not feeling fulfilled any more. We see each other once a week or once every two weeks. He wont just come ...
A. 10 October 2011: You've discovered the major drawback to "FWB" arrangements.... Hope you and he can settle this matter....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I need a good facebook status that will make my ex jealous
Q. I know this sounds really immiture and daft but I need a good facebook status that will make my ex bf jealous I don't want to make him think in seeing someone or anything but aw I don't know I really want him back I still love him I know he loves me ...
A. 10 October 2011: I suggest you give up any "games".... and wait 6 months... then contact him and ask him if he'd like to ressurect the relationship that you and he had had... You might be pleasantly surprised to learn (then) that he misses you as much as you miss ... (read in full...)
Intimacy problems
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 5 months now. He's lovely and we get on really well. Thing is, after 5 months together there's still been no intimacy. He'll give me a kiss (peck on the lips) straight away when we meet, then the same again when we ...
A. 10 October 2011: I think the operative phrase in your question is this one:
"....what red blooded male who has been going with a woman for 5 months wouldn't take advantage of this situation!!..."
The answer, of course, is: Any one (red-blooded American man) wh... (read in full...)
He spends hours talking about his ex. What do I make of this?
Q. My partner spent four hours talking about his ex yesterday. About how they broke the bed by having so much sex, about how her butt is just amazing etc but also how she was annoying, and caused fights. So it wasn't all praise but just a long, LONG ...
A. 9 October 2011: Yes... you need to ask HIM why so much of what he says is couched in some form of throwback to his ex-...
Does he hold on to OTHER situations in his/your life for what seems an inordinate time? If so... then you can chalk up the "ex-" thing to... (read in full...)
FWB doesn't call me gorgeous like he does other girls
Q. hi, i am seeing this guy for past few years.. we stay in separate cities so it is not exactly exclusive but we aren't really seeing anybody else .. it is basically more sexual than emotional! we sex text a lot and such stuff.. recently he shared ...
A. 8 October 2011: Yes, GWYS, no matter how many times you repeat the "question", the answers to it remain the same.
Your only question - to yourself - is, How long will you put up with this treatment?... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing by breaking up with my boyfriend?
Q. I'm breaking up with my boyfriend today, and I just need some support that I'm doing the right thing. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. In January we moved in together. He and my other roommate really didn't like eachother and ...
A. 7 October 2011: Three out of four... sounds like you're making a pretty informed and sensible decision.... Go for it....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Am I a loser? And is it wrong that I no longer miss my ex-girlfriend? Is that normal after 14 months?
Q. My girlfriend me dumped 14 months ago, saying I would never get a good job thus wouldn't be able to give her financial stability. She used to call me a loser which would make me laugh. I am still doing smaller paying job and I am fine with this los...
A. 7 October 2011: "sounds" to me like youve finally gotten over giving a damn about this gold-digging broad (note: You wrote: ".... thus wouldn't be able to give her financial stability").... Count your blessings that she is gone, your are over her, and get on ... (read in full...)
Does anyone think the law not allowing 16 year olds an younger to have sex will stop anyone?
Q. Just want to clarify, I don't want to have sex. I just think its unrealistic. Do you think it'll stop anyone? No one will call the police. Especially if their both underage. I know why its there and all, but I also know a pregnant eighth grader. T...
A. 7 October 2011: I think the operative phrase in your submittal is "... do you think it'll work? " By that, I mean, how will you tell if it is "working?" And THAT is a pretty inexact item to quantify....
What DOES "work" is that it raises the specter that for... (read in full...)
How long should I wait to start looking for someone after a break up?
Q. How long should I wait to start looking for someone after a break up? I really don't want to be single and my ex does. Should I still wait a bit? Or is it okay to start looking?...
A. 7 October 2011: It depends on how YOU feel about it...
Myself? I usually wait until she is outside the door before I go on-line or pick up the phone to find my next girl....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
How do you define "sex"?
Q. So here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-how-important-is-sex-to-you.html someone asked how important to you is sex. I have a slightly different question... DEFINE IT... is it just the act of intercourse? is foreplay mandatory? ...
A. 7 October 2011: OK SVC, I'll bite.... and my answer is this cliche:
Women offer sex in hope that it will lead to a loving relationship; Men feign a loving relationship in hope that it will lead to sex....
'Nuff said....... (read in full...)
Why do I have trouble completing sex in a committed relationship yet can reliably cum during flings and one night stands?
Q. Hi, I'm a bit confused here, I'm 20 years old, and have only had 2 SERIOUS relationships, the previous lasting 4 years, and one currently. In between, and before the relationships I've had several flings / one night stands, etc. I've noticed I...
A. 6 October 2011: Part of the chemistry that affects peoples' sexual performance (both sexes) is their brain chemistry. One of our most powerful - and natural - stimulants is adrenalin.... the chemical that makes you get angry or want to run away from danger. Soun... (read in full...)
Am I too sensitive? Or is he insensitive? And when do you call it quits when it comes to a relationship?
Q. I am engaged to my guy for a year and a half now. In the beginning everything was great, I was completely ready to marry my guy. However, the past 6-8 months is making me re-think this whole marriage thing. We're hardly ever intimate, we har...
A. 6 October 2011: I auggest that you "listen" more to his actions than to his words.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
FWB doesn't call me gorgeous like he does other girls
Q. hi, i am seeing this guy for past few years.. we stay in separate cities so it is not exactly exclusive but we aren't really seeing anybody else .. it is basically more sexual than emotional! we sex text a lot and such stuff.. recently he shared ...
A. 6 October 2011: When a girl puts out for him.... and "asks" nothing in return.... (rather the definition of "FWB")... then a guy can dispense with the polite niceties (you know, icky-sweet, schmoozy talk.... pet names and compliments and the like) that he has to ... (read in full...)
How do you define "sex"?
Q. So here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-how-important-is-sex-to-you.html someone asked how important to you is sex. I have a slightly different question... DEFINE IT... is it just the act of intercourse? is foreplay mandatory? ...
A. 6 October 2011: (The question, "what is "sex"," is a little like the question, "Why is there air?")..... I'm sorry to see that, at age 51-59 you are still struggling with this.... Do you have any specific circumstances that you would like to discuss? ... (read in full...)
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