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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have spent 9 months with this lady and now wana dump her . Well she hasn’t done anything wrong neither me but I have to dump her as I find someone else more attractive than her. She is my 8th girlfriends and I think there is nothing wrong keep on experimenting until one finds some one really special , right? I would really appreciate if you guys could help me how to politely make her understand and move out of her life?Looking forward to hearing from you guys. Many thanks in advance! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 You're clearly not in love with her, nor have you been in love with the other girlfriend I presume, since you refer to them not as "past relationships" but "past experiences". Use DATING to experience, and use RELATIONSHIPS for someone who IS special, not someone who just might be special, one day. In other words; fall in love before you form a relationship next time. Falling in love should do the trick. Until you are in love you can keep at relationships all you want and never find someone special. You'll be lie a fly trying to break though the glass, you'll just go in and out of relationship never being satisfied, never happy with what you've got.
Stop hitting that window now, it clearly isn't working for you. Find someone who is special, flirt, fall in love, and then start a relationship.
As for this girl, just tell her that you are sorry, she's a great girl, but you do not see you and her having a future because you aren't in love with her. You thought she was great and thought maybe you'd fall in love, but you haven't, as so it is best to stop things before they get too serious as she will be more hurt then. It's an honest matter after all, you don't want to spin her along.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 If you no longer care about her and you want her gone tell her the truth
" I need to find someone more attractive than you"
trust me she'll be gone
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A
female
reader, Koala Bear  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 No. "Experimenting" until you find someone better is wrong. You should never string someone along in a relationship if your intentions are not true. This would be a selfish act, the person you are being careless with will get hurt and your own personal growth would be stunted. By this I mean, you have to learn how to be content and alone. You should never be in a relationship because you are bored(aka. scared of being alone). Your insecurities will only wreck future relationships with someone you truly love. That's why it's important to have time to yourself you grow wiser, you understand who you are completely.
Leave the girl like a man, tell her how you feel, be sensitive as you are building your own karma, and let her go. Allow her to find someone who truly respects her feelings.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (24 October 2011):
 I think if you show her your post she wont want to be with you anymore.
Seriously, the truth is always the best. Thank her for being a part of your life and tell her that you have found someone else. Finding someone new is part of the game. There is no point is staying with someone who you are not into. Be kind though, the dumpee always has to deal with self esteem issues. The kinder you are, the easier it will be for her.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 There will always be more attractive people. I know that a lot of girls are more attractive than me but I am enough for my boyfriend. Your current date just doesn't do it for you. Your reason shouldn't be you found someone else more attractive. Tell her you don't feel the love. I know you won't tell her, "move out of my life." That sounds rude. Say chemistry isn't right and leave it at that and wish her good luck. Thank you for being in your life, etc. There is nothing wrong with experimenting but until you are sure about the one you should caution her to go slow and not make promises so soon. The more experience you have the less time you need to experiment, and the less time you would be wasting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2011): Well, you can simply tell her that you don't want to continue the relationship with her, that in your opinion there is nothing that can be done to "fix" any problems, it is simply over. Please don't tell her that you found someone who you find more attractive to her, because that is cruel and will only hurt her feelings. I wish you luck in finding someone special, it will be hard since you seem from this post that you are so busy looking for something better to come along, I am not sure that you would even realise that you have met that someone special, you sound like a player and she deserves better than that, so your probably doing her a huge favour by breaking up with her and letting her find someone decent.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 October 2011):
 I suggest you use the tried-and-true "it's not you; it's me".... line, as you tell her that she's dumped.... That works every time.... AND makes the person who is dumped feel MUCH BETTER!!!!!.....
Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, Kirstyteenauntireland  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 I don't really approve of what your doing as it doesn't seem like a fair excuse to dump a girl. But the only thing I can suggest is that you talk to the girl. And at the very least don't tell the girl your dumping her for another girl! Its going to be painful enough for her let alone being told you found someone " More Attractive ".
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