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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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Is her new guy a bandaid or is she playing mindgames with me?
Q. So, my girlfriend and I of two years broke up. the last year we were living together. We got into a fight and she left the house didn't come home that night. first time she ever did that in a fight. everything was going good the weeks before. I ...
A. 3 August 2009: Good for you!... (read in full...)
What is your experience of love?
Q. Just some general thoughts and wondering how other people see things. I'm 28 years old, had a few relationships but seemingly haven't found the 'one' yet. This makes me ask myself whether i'm too demanding of what a relationship should be. The t...
A. 12 July 2009: Nobody is perfect and relationships do take work; however, I think you should be able to effortlessly love someone. It depends on what you thought wasn't perfect, were they little things that really shouldn't have mattered, or were they things that ... (read in full...)
I got irresponsibly drunk, had sex and my parents want to sue him
Q. i kinda got raped. i cant explain but i can try. i was drunk. i passed out , was consantly throwing up, but continued drinking. he carried me into his room. i was awake, i didntr say no but i didnt say yes either. im 16 and he is 22. my parents ...
A. 12 July 2009: I don't think you were raped but I think he did take advantage of you, but it is statutory rape. So your parents have every right to press charges. He's an adult, he shouldn't be having sex with 16 year olds and he needs to be taught a lesson.
... (read in full...)
He said "I guess I could call you every day but I really don't want to!"
Q. I can't believe my boyfriend just told me that he is 'JUST NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON WHO WOULD CALL HIS GIRLFRIEND EVERY DAY!' He would felt like he is reporting to me if he has to, it's not necessary and why would he? After a while, a big discussion. ...
A. 11 July 2009: Yes, as your boyfriend he should want to. You shouldn't have to "force" him and he shouldn't feel like it's a chore to talk to you. I really don't think this relationship will last or that you'll be very happy in the long run. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for saying no one time?
Q. Can someone please tell me what I've done wrong. My boyfriend doesn't come around me or talk to me as much as he use to. I asked him why and he says its my attitude. I don't have a clue what he's talking about because the only attitude is his. ...
A. 11 July 2009: You didn't do anything wrong! Your boyfriend is acting like a jerk and a baby. He's extremely childish. Tell him he can grow up or you can move on.... (read in full...)
He talked non stop the entire date but never mentioned a second date. Now what?
Q. I recently went out with a guy whom I'd met online. We met up after about 1 week of emailing. The date was drinks only. There were no awkward silences and we spent about 2.5 hours together. The only thing is that he talked most of the time. I ...
A. 11 July 2009: Sure, he didn't get a chance to get to know you...but you definitely got a chance to know him. Do you really even want to go out on a second date with him? He talked incessantly (about himself I'm sure) and didn't walk you to your car (which you ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to be with me 24/7..is that ok?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now, he lives with his older brother while I live at home with my parents. He is really good when it comes to calling me everyday to tell me what he's doing. He tells me that he loves me but that he also ...
A. 11 July 2009: Yes, baby duck is right. If you spend 24/7 with him or want to, you're going to appear needy to him. Men like women that can be independent and not dependent on them to make them happy. I think you should make plans with your friends and family ... (read in full...)
What are people's views on dating a third cousin?
Q. hi, i recently got back in touch with my third cousin. we're both 19 and related through blood. every year when i was born i would spend a week up north with my cousin and we grew up together really close.we used to kiss under his duvet when we ...
A. 11 July 2009: Personally, I think anybody with blood relation that you are aware of is a no-no. I wouldn't even think romantically about someone I was related to. In some states here I think it's legal to marry your second cousin; regardless I wouldn't ever ... (read in full...)
We both like each other but he used to play games before! Should I ask him out or leave it?
Q. I broke up with a guy I am interested in because he always delays on answering my text messages. When he texts me he ask me if I have a free time, I answer and then after one or two weeks he says he was very very busy. I knew him for four months and ...
A. 11 July 2009: Sorry, honey. But no. He texted to you a month later after seeing you had a boyfriend because he was jealous. Then when you told him you didn't have him anymore, he stopped because he's immature and likes to play games. He's obviously not into ... (read in full...)
Advise on finding first job.
Q. Dear Cupid, i need help... in finding a job. i've been miserable as of late stuck in my room doing nothing dwelling on things. it's really driving me mad and to the brink of insanity! i'm a 20 year old whose never ever had a job and i don't know whe...
A. 11 July 2009: You're going to have to go entry level that pretty much anyone can do. However, let me advise you that the economy is REALLY bad right now, and even well qualified people are having a hard time finding a job right now. So you'll probably have to ... (read in full...)
If he's interested, he'll ask me out again, right?
Q. I went out with a guy this past Sunday. Tonight he asked me if I wanted to go to this place tomorrow with him in the day time, but I can't because I have to work. So I texted him something like "stuck at work till 8..would definately go with you ...
A. 11 July 2009: Yes, that was a good answer to give him. If you just said, "no, have to work" then that might put him off. But adding in that you would "definitely go another time" would let him know that you're interested in seeing him, you just can't on that ... (read in full...)
How could he hurt me so much when I gave my heart and soul to him?
Q. I really need help, I'm gay and I'm really depressed my boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago and I'm doing my best to move forward but I just can't deal with is, this heartache is killing me, I miss him so bad, even if he finished the ...
A. 11 July 2009: I'm sad reading this...probably because I've been there. I was recently with someone who I thought was probably going to be "the one" and well, I get dropped with lines of, "I never cared about you, I never loved you," yada yada and lots of other ... (read in full...)
I don't like porn! Is that so wrong?
Q. I don't like porn. Is that so wrong? I've read many questions about porn, and the responses are always something like "Get over it, it's just a video, porn is great, watch it with him, grow up, all men do it...". But I don't like it. I've watched...
A. 11 July 2009: There's nothing wrong with disliking it, but it's just something you have to accept. However, I do think someone can change their insecurities, that's just something you have to figure out for yourself.
Maybe you don't think that this even com... (read in full...)
Condom discomfort
Q. I've been married about 3 years and my wife and I were each other's first and we have always had natural, naked genital sex. Now she has a medical problem (nothing real serious) and has to go off birth control pills and stay away from other things ...
A. 11 July 2009: Like others said, try different condoms. If you are still having pain, then see what your wife can do. There are female condoms and she could even get fitted for a diaphragm and use it in conjunction with spermicide.
The IUD won't work for... (read in full...)
Are blow jobs now an expected part of making out?
Q. I read recently that kids as young as 11 and 12 no longer "make out" by just kissing, hugging and caressing, but that many boys also expect their girlfriends to give them blow jobs. In other words, oral sex among the young is getting to be pretty ...
A. 10 July 2009: 11 or 12?!? Holy...I don't think I even knew what oral sex was back then and that was only like 13 years ago! I think once I got into junior high, around 8th grade--that's when I started hearing those stories. So I didn't hear about anybody doing ... (read in full...)
He hasn't called me for one day. Does that mean we're over?
Q. Since my boyfriend moved back to my hometown he has called me everyday, and we have seen eachother almost everyday. Yesterday he didn't call, and it was his first time not calling me in a LONG time. I know its hard when he doesnt have a phone, bu...
A. 9 July 2009: NO! One day doesn't mean that you're over. Even a few days probably doesn't. Sometimes people need their space...which means that they simply don't want to talk or hang out for a day or a few days. If it turns into weeks with absolutely nothing, ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to get out of this relationship.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for four and a half years now. Since we first had sex (a month into our relationship), he started calling me bad names and telling me I'm worthless. He's my first love (first boyfriend really) and at first, I ...
A. 9 July 2009: Think about how much better you're going to be when you're out of this relationship. Your boyfriend has totally degraded you and you actually believe the idiotic things he has said to you. You have to know that it isn't true. You're a beautiful ... (read in full...)
I love him but I'm not attracted to him...he has hygiene issues!
Q. Hello Reader's My boyfriend and I been together for 4 1/2 years when I meet him I was only 18 and he told me that he was 26. After a year into our relationship he started looking older then he said he was. After snooping through his wallet I...
A. 5 July 2009: Eww! You're so young and I really don't think you're in love with him. Sure you care about him and have some sort of comfort in him. But he's not someone you're attracted to--he sounds disgusting. Attraction and sex are HUGE deals in ... (read in full...)
Does true love really exist?
Q. Maybe this is a stupid question: but I really want to know. Does true love REALLY exist? Can people really love each other FOREVER? Can two people really accept each other and love each other in EQUAL balance- meaning 1 not love the other more or ...
A. 5 July 2009: NO! Actually, I feel the same way you do pretty much 95% of the time. However, I look at my parents. To me, that is true love. So I know it exists. They have their disagreements, but the way my dad treats my mother and vice versa, I know it ... (read in full...)
Do girls prefer the scruffy hair look or the clean cut short hair look, which do they think is sexier?
Q. do girls prefer scruffy hair look, or clean, cut short hair in guys? what is it they find sexy about it? im fairly short (174cm) and oval shaped head, blonde hair.. ...
A. 4 July 2009: Depends...I like them both. If you want to "look" scruffy though, still remain clean. There's guys that are scruffy and their hair is a greasy mess and it's gross.... (read in full...)
Irregularities with my period make me worry I might be pregnant after unprotected sex, what should I do?
Q. I had unprotected sex on May 25, 2009 and I got my period expectedly on June 18, 2009. But it wasn't normal; it was very light and all of the blood was brown. Now it is July 3, 2009 and I just got my period again but now my period is normal. I'm ...
A. 4 July 2009: You're probably not pregnant. But they have these things at the drugstore and even the grocery store...or even WalMart or Target! It's a stick that you pee on and it tells you if you are or aren't pregnant. I think they're called pregnancy tests? ... (read in full...)
Is her new guy a bandaid or is she playing mindgames with me?
Q. So, my girlfriend and I of two years broke up. the last year we were living together. We got into a fight and she left the house didn't come home that night. first time she ever did that in a fight. everything was going good the weeks before. I ...
A. 4 July 2009: This girl seems all sorts of confused. She doesn't know what she wants. I think you are doing the right thing, and don't give into her. She is insecure and afraid of being alone. She cheated on you, and now that you don't want her, she's chasing ... (read in full...)
Summer makeover tips to be less ugly
Q. Hey,I'm 14 years old I'm getting my braces off in less than ten days. I'm scared that it's gonna look gross cuz i actually liked wearing braces. Plus I'm gonna use crest white strips for whiter teeth and stuff but im still nervous.. I'm not u...
A. 4 July 2009: Ok, so braces coming off=good. The other stuff? Piercings, including your nose? Losing 5lbs so you can be under 100lbs? You're going to end up looking like Amy Winehouse. A girl your age shouldn't wear too much eye makeup. Try and look ... (read in full...)
How do I use tampons?
Q. hey im a girl and im a virgin. never even used tampons. i want to but im scared i'll faint cause i read that somewhere. im so afraid of passing out! so any pointers on inserting tampons? also how do i masturbate? like what do i do? what feels really ...
A. 4 July 2009: Read the directions that come with the tampon box. As far as your other question, I think that's something you should figure out for yourself. That's what most people do.... (read in full...)
Was this really nothing, or is she the most ridiculous person ever? Why is she like this?
Q. I don't know if this is a bigger deal that it should be? My girlfriend is kind of shy, but also kind of picky. People tease her about both these things sometimes, even I do. I think she might have a complex, but I honestly don't understand why s...
A. 4 July 2009: This is what I think: judging by the part when she told you that if she sent the food back you'd be annoyed, and if she kept it, you'd be annoyed. I think that she doesn't think that she can make you happy. Do you even know what that feels like? ... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and asked her out then found out she's 26!!! Will this be a problem?
Q. I met this girl thats really nice and funny, and after a couple times of talking i asked her to get dinner and she said yes, so we set up a date for tommorow and all seems well but i found out today that she is 26 years old, I am only 21, is this a ...
A. 4 July 2009: Don't worry about it. You're not even sure what her intentions are. She may just be dating around and wants to have fun. She may not even want a boyfriend right now, so things like that wouldn't even matter. Besides that, I'm 25 and dated a 22 ... (read in full...)
There are two girls I like: my 'dream girl' and my girlfriend
Q. I have an interesting question. Well, there was this sexy blonde girl who seems to have taken a like to me and I haven't known her name until yesterday. Here's the weird part about it: I dreamt about her having sex with me, even though I'm happily ...
A. 3 July 2009: You're basing this girl solely on her appearance. Your "dream girl" could have the personality of a wet mop. So before you decide to be with someone shouldn't you know them first?... (read in full...)
I've had 4 sexual partners, is that a lot for a woman my age?
Q. I'm 23 and have had 4 sexual partners. Is that a lot for a woman my age? My last ex told me during our break up that guys will think I'm really slutty now that I've been with 4 different men, but he might've been trying to make me feel bad. ...
A. 3 July 2009: No, not a lot. Usually, I don't think people should disclose how many sexual partners they've had. ... (read in full...)
I think I deserve to be treated much better. Your opinions, please!
Q. just need opinions! Heres what its about. Well i have a boyfriend and ive been going out with him for ten months now, but the big problem is that he treats me like his little B**ch. See he sais its all because his ex girlfriend cheate...
A. 3 July 2009: He doesn't trust you. And he's making you suffer because of what someone did to him in the past. Why should you have to pay for someone else's mistakes? He's obviously insecure and mistreating you because of his insecurities.
I would say firs... (read in full...)
Did he truly love me? Should I contact him to ask?
Q. Should I or shouldn't I? Sometimes, i think of my ex and I wonder if he thinks of me too. rarely are the times I think of him positively being that he made me go through so mamy emotional hardships. Times I thought he loved me and other times I ...
A. 3 July 2009: Look, he's a jerk. Who cares if he truly loved you? Sure, you're lonely. But you really think of yourself so poorly that you want to subject yourself to this guy again? Work on yourself and self worth, cause this guy isn't worth it. He'll break ... (read in full...)
Can you teach someone to treat you the way you want to be treated?
Q. Can you teach someone to treat you the way you want to be treated?....Or is that the typical trap we women fall into, thinking a man is going to change for us?....My boyfriend has many great qualities, but doesn't really respect women in general. ...
A. 3 July 2009: Eww, it sounds like he has A LOT of growing up to do. It's not only his lack of respect for women, he's also very immature. Obviously, he not just disrespectful to only you. To tell someone she's "fuckable" and to refer to another woman who he ... (read in full...)
What else can I do to finally move on?
Q. What else can I do to finally move on? Two years ago, I fell in love with a guy at work and things started moving towards a relationship. Long story short, he ended up being a player who used me, only talks to me for sex, ignoring me otherwise and...
A. 3 July 2009: If you've done everything else, as far as trying to keep your mind off of him, then the last thing you need to do is cut off contact with him. From what you said, it sounds like to two never had a "real" relationship, being that you said, ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, my b/f says he needs space, I miss him so what do I do?
Q. I'm 14 weeks pregnant. I thought everythin was goin fine with my boyfriend. We had our aruegments but who doesnt. he said he needed space.. some time to think. I miss him so much. Hes my everything. I'm goin crazy. what do i do? i need help ...
A. 2 July 2009: Tell him you need your space too, but it's kind of hard when you have a growing baby connected to you! Guys seriously have no idea what women go through, yet a lot (especially the immature ones) never fail to be selfish individuals. I would say to ... (read in full...)
Lonely... need girlfriend for company...
Q. Hi. I'm bored this summer. I don't have a girlfriend and I don't know where to look for one. Sometimes I see some sitting alone in the park but is it normal if I went up to one? Certainly not. Where do I go to find someone nice?...
A. 1 July 2009: You can meet a girl anywhere. Sure you can meet a girl at the park. It doesn't matter where it is. Just be confident, have some questions planned out ahead of time so you don't stutter or come off strange. Girls like a guy who is confident, but ... (read in full...)
Why do I attract psychos?
Q. Ok, so maybe this is more so of a venting session than a question. Why do I attract PSYCHOS???!!! They always have a problem or a chip on their shoulder, they like to act like they're a "victim" when they have serious issues! They lie constan...
A. 1 July 2009: Oh jeez, I'm over it now. I'm just baffled!
Dr. Psych, thanks for the insight. Sometimes I feel like I'm insensitive, and once I actually go back to school, I plan on majoring in psychology. So after this relationship with the biopolar guy I wa... (read in full...)
My girl always tells her friends our relationship problems before she tells me!
Q. My current girlfriend always tells her friends our relationship problems before telling me and it really bugs me. its as if she expects her friends to tell me for her. For example im going to go see a movie with my friend this weekend and she a ...
A. 1 July 2009: Here's a little secret, that is what girls do. However, her girlfriend shouldn't be telling you what is going on, your girlfriend shoud be telling you. So in a sense, you're right. But I think you need to talk to her and tell her that if she has ... (read in full...)
How do you just fall out of love with someone? I'm baffled...
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for nearly a year, and it has been going massively strong. She has sent me letters telling me she cant wait to start a new life with me, im the one, we went through much to be with each other, and now ...
A. 29 June 2009: There's always going to be a reason why someone's feelings have changed...they don't just change overnight, you're right. However, she's not giving you an explanation probably because she's afraid of hurting you even more or maybe she can't exactly ... (read in full...)
Are we two freaks or do other couples act this way?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 11 years. We do have kids. My wife has always been more on the conservative side. I have always hoped that she would try to open up more sexually with me. Try new things etc. but was afraid to ask. One night...
A. 29 June 2009: I think you two are perfectly normal. If you are happy with it, then who cares if it's normal or abnormal? It's good that you two are comfortable and open enough to share these fantasies with one another. Don't worry, it's all good.... (read in full...)
Should I stay? Or get rid of the hoe?
Q. Ok here is the story I have been dating this girl for two yrs and she hasn't ever spent any real time wit me. if im lucky I get to see her lik 5 hrs every 2 weeks and she says she is busy but she will cancel or plans to make time for her friends and ...
A. 29 June 2009: You see her for 5 hours every two weeks and only text, yet you know for certain that she's faithful? The same thing for goes for girls as it goes for guys, but I think since girls are considered "talkers" you hear about it more from girls. "She's ... (read in full...)
I know things could be a LOT worse, but seriously?
Q. December of last year was not my best month. The first of December, my mother passed away from breast cancer. The seventh of December, I got into a car accident that left me with a broken leg (currently in the cast) and $1600 in debt. The twentieth ...
A. 29 June 2009: Ok, so I don't want to sound koo-koo. But I really do believe in this, the whole law of attraction thing. I'm very sorry to hear about your mother and your father losing his job, certain things can't be controlled. Death happens suddenly and ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy to orgasm but not ejaculate?
Q. My boyfriend and I see each other about 1-2 times a week. We've been dating since October 2008 and it's been nothing but wonderful. Well, we haven't had sex since early May because I haven't been "in the mood" since I started taking birth control ...
A. 29 June 2009: I have heard of this (yes I wasn't sure if I should believe it) that when a man ejaculates it doesn't mean he's having an orgasm. I'm not a doctor so honestly I don't know for sure. But yes, I have heard of this before. Most guys will completely ... (read in full...)
Haven't heard from the guy I cheated with, what should I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a great man for 3 years. We love eachother and everything, but sex is out of the question. He is always working and I am always working so we barely have time for eachother. When we do have time I always try to get ...
A. 29 June 2009: You have a boyfriend, yet you're wondering why the guy you had an affair with is not calling you? Hmmm...well let me just start off by saying that instead of wondering when this guy will call you, maybe you should be wondering what you want in your ... (read in full...)
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