A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My current girlfriend always tells her friends our relationship problems before telling me and it really bugs me. its as if she expects her friends to tell me for her. For example im going to go see a movie with my friend this weekend and she a woman. (Me and her are very close friends and we made it very clear we wouldn't ever date.) Well apparently my girlfriend was upset over the fact that im taking her but does she tell me about how she feels?NO. She told her friend instead and then her friend was complaining to me that it hurts my girlfriend seeing me with another woman. (I told my girlfriend we have been friends since we were babys and nothin would happen) then I told her friend well if it hurts her he should tell me herself. i don't want to bring it up that her friend told me how she really feels because that's the only way I know how she feels. and if I "rat" out her friend she won't tell her anything anymore and I won't know how my girlfriend is feeling. well should I dump her? btw we have been dating about 6 months Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (1 July 2009):
 Girls do that, i tell my friends before i tell my boyfriend and if they advice i talk to him about it then i do. If not, ive got it off my chest and i move on from the situation! Its just what girls do. Dont dump her over this!! Im guessing she's a little insecure about herself, im sure its not that she doesnt trust you, shes probably just frightened that this other girl will try something.. If its really bothering you then talk to her, tell her you wanna hear it when she has an issue cos it upsets you to think she cant! Im sure alot of stuff will probably spill out.... Let it! She needs to vent.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (1 July 2009):
Here's a little secret, that is what girls do. However, her girlfriend shouldn't be telling you what is going on, your girlfriend shoud be telling you. So in a sense, you're right. But I think you need to talk to her and tell her that if she has an issue she should come to you about it, not her friends. Usually it is out of respect that you don't date other girls while you have a girlfriend. Even though YOU don't consider it a date, your girlfriend probably does. You're choosing to take another woman to go see a movie over her. That doesn't feel too good regardless if you two have been friends for life.
Girls talk, and that's what we like to do. Especially with eachother, we share our feelings with each other. So her friends are probably always going to know what's going on before you do, or they may know things that you won't ever know. But just tell her that you want to hear it from her and not her friends. Honestly, if one of my friends did that I would be embarrassed and tell her to shut her hole!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): I wouldn't dump her over this. You say you have a problem with her talking to her friends and not you, and yet you won't talk to her about your problem, you're taking it to the web. In a way, it's the same thing! You have to understand too that for women, talking to friends about relationship problems is generally normal. I think it's pretty awful that her friends are coming to you and telling you. I bet she'd want to know if her friend was leaking secrets. I know I would! You also don't have to say who told you, just that it bugs you in general when she talks to her friends and not you. Generally I'll talk to my friends about something bugging me first to try and decide if it's a big enough issue to bring up with my boyfriend. Sometimes I find that just "bitching" about it makes me feel almost 100% better and then there's no need to bug my bf about it. Though with the way you're wording this, it seems like you've already decided to dump her, like you're trying to create drama where there is none by not talking to her about it. I personally wouldn't get so worked up over that. I could see why she'd feel irritated about you and your friend going out without her, and I think that most girls just do talk more than guys do about their relationships.
...............................
|
