A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have been married for 11 years. We do have kids. My wife has always been more on the conservative side. I have always hoped that she would try to open up more sexually with me. Try new things etc. but was afraid to ask. One night, after having some drinks, I had the courage to speak with her very openly about how I wanted her to be more slutty with me in bed. I used that term exactly. I let her know what I wanted and how I am a very visual person. I want to watch her play with herself, with hands or sex toys, I want her to talk nasty and to share with me her wildest fantasies, etc. I told her all that really turned me on. I told her we needed to spark things up alot. To my surprise she agreed to it all and was willing to give it a try. I really enjoy sitting back and watch my wife play with herself using toys in various forms. Very stimulating for us. But lately, I talked her into sharing some of her secret fantasies. One night, she was really turned on and confessed that she would fantasize about other men while masterbating. I told her I did the same thing with other girls. We confessed to each other that sometimes they involved people we know. We did not get upset since we agreed to put the jealousy behind us. Now, during our hot love making sessions, I sit back while my wife gives me the details about how other guys are fucking her and she's doing them in her fantasies. I mean, I can't control her mind and she is going to fantasize from time to time. I can't help but get so turned on by the steamy details while we are on separate ends of the bed masterbating and staring into each others eyes. I will sometimes give her the details about girls I have fantasized about myself. This gets my wife and I so hot and horny we end up having some wild sex with each other like never before. My question is how normal is this? Or do you find this to be abnormal? Sometimes the fantasies involves people we know but just listening to the steamy details puts us in the mood for some wild sex nights, sex toys and all. My wife has turned into the slut I hoped for in the bedroom. Outside the bedroom she is still the respectul woman she has always been. I am just wondering if there are other couples who do or act the same or are we simply two freaks?
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male
reader, Sw Krishna Kali  +, writes (30 November 2009):
It is abnormal, in the sense that it is not widely practised, but as far as being a healthy sexual practise then it is perfectly normal. I have great sex with my wife after 21 years without using any other implements other than my mind. In fact the mind is a very underused and neglected area of sex.
You and your wife have stumbled upon the secret to all sexual problems, however you have a long way to go regarding the correct usage of fantasies.
It is absolutely imperative that sexual fantasies be shared between men and women in order for a lasting and honest relationship to blossom to its full potential.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Hiee I am kerri and I am the biggest freak on sex around I love to do anything and everything sex is my thing and i don't think your the only ones i several partenrs and a lot of men throughout my life and lots of kids form them and one is even a sex offender registered for proof i love freaking out and doing anything as long as it is sex sex sex sex so dont feel ur alll alone i work at a bar Patsy's barandgrill where i know how to have fun so if your ever around look me and partner vince or vincy poo and share some time with us
[email address blocked] Doniphan, Missouri
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): My wife and I do the same thing, except we don't talk about what we are fantasizing about while in the bedroom (or any other room) and having sex or participating in foreplay. Our opinion is that detracts from what we are feeling about each other. We might have fantasies during sex, but we discuss those later so that the other person doesn't know about it when it is happening. They are secret during the foreplay and sex and cuddling after. I don't care if she is thinking about screwing someone else, but I don't want to know about it while I am trying to give her an orgasm and she doesn't either.
If you enjoy what you are doing then there is no problem with it. If it detracts from the sex between you then perhaps you should just not discuss what you are thinking while having sex.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (29 June 2009):
I think you two are perfectly normal. If you are happy with it, then who cares if it's normal or abnormal? It's good that you two are comfortable and open enough to share these fantasies with one another. Don't worry, it's all good.
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (29 June 2009):
I really doubt that you're the only couple that does this, most couples would probably envy how great your sex life is.
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A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (29 June 2009):
Yep, you're freaks, just kidding. :)
There is nothing wrong with sprucing up your sex life with new things. Seriously after you've been with someone for many years any position that you use over and over again can become very dull. I'm 37 and have been married almost 16 years and we do all kinds of things to spruce up our sex life.
My biggest sexual fantasy is when the kids are all out of the house......nope that's it when the kids are all out of the house. :)
Seriously though, be careful about the fantasizing out loud about other people you know or interact with. What starts out fun at first could turn into raging jealousy later. Try talking about sexual fantasies with movies stars, people that are not accessible to you or your wife.
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A
female
reader, pinkgoblin15 +, writes (29 June 2009):
 I don't see anything wrong with it. I mean alot of people have troubles with there sex lives and sometimes it ends up in divorce. It's nice to know how you guys trust each other so much :)
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