A
female
age
36-40,
*mmscorpio1030b
writes:Hello Reader's My boyfriend and I been together for 4 1/2 years when I meet him I was only 18 and he told me that he was 26. After a year into our relationship he started looking older then he said he was. After snooping through his wallet I found out he was 32. I was hurt but stayed with him...but I wasn't attracted to him anymore. I didn't want to leave him because I loved him and he had a rough life and I am the only person in his life. So I stay hoping that I will become attracted to him again. Things never changed he has a very bad hygene issues..coming to find out his braces been on for almost 8 years so he kept bad breath even when he brushed, and had so much plaque build up in his braces. It got to the point that I never kissed him until this day I don't...just a peck on the lips. I love him cause he treats me like a queen his spoils me to death. But I'm not attracted to him. Sex wow! He stay hard for 2 or 3 mins and gets soft and never ejaculated after four in a half years we been together. He say it the enviorment he's in, or the bed is too low, or peopel knock on my college dorm door alot ...its always an excuse. I say the hell with everyone if you want me and say I'm that great then show me. I know its not me cause I have cheated on him and other guys had not problem with ejaculation. I cheated because its a long distance relationship cause I'm away in college and I'm not attracted to him after he lied about his age. He was my first I never got a chance to experience other guys...so I cheated. When I tell him about the hygene issues he get mad and say " you need to be with a pretty boy or a neat freak". Its not about that cause he know I don't like bad hygenes. The problem never changed. It so bad that I hold back sex from him.and when I do have sex with him it hurts me real bad is it because I'm not into it and not relaxed? When I'm away in school since my freshmen year, he always seem to get mad if I'm chilling with friends...he will say have fun with ya boyfriends and he will throw in girlfriends. I love him but I want to have his children but he won't ejaculate and I want to be attracted to him but I can't. Please help me what should I do!
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braces, ejaculate, ejaculation, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 He has breath which could stop a herd of buffalo, he has erectile dysfunction, he's jealous, he lied to you as soon as he met you, you're not attracted to him any longer, but he "spoils you to death". Don't mistake pity for love, you aren't responsible for his happiness, but if you continue you will be responsible for your own UNhappiness.
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 no this relationship definately is dying a slow death.your making excuses about his age, his looks, this means u dont love him for him, and when u feel like that the best thing u can do is walk away from him and give urself a break.u cant make urself attracted to any1 it need to already be there else its a non starter.try and enjoy the rest of ur college years and put an end to this poor guys misery.good luck
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 July 2009):
 This is no basis for a long-term relationship - having children with this man would make you very unhappy. You have already cheated on him and therefore the relationship is doomed - no environment for bringing up happy children!If he is having problems in the bedroom department at his age then he may have some significant physical or psychological issues that require professional attention. Moreover, it sounds as if he is in urgent need of a dental appointment since his bad breath is almost certainly the result of plaque and calcification in the mouth - with gum disease in his early 30's he may not have any teeth left in there to straighten with that brace soon. Regardless of the romantic relationship, you say you care for him. If this is the case, I suggest you encourage him to seek some medical help.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (5 July 2009):
Eww! You're so young and I really don't think you're in love with him. Sure you care about him and have some sort of comfort in him. But he's not someone you're attracted to--he sounds disgusting. Attraction and sex are HUGE deals in relationships. Sure, someone can have a great personality (which may make them become more attractive), but if you're just disgusted by him and he can't fulfill your needs in bed, then it's probably a relationship that's going to inevitably end. You're not happy in the relationshp and you're cheating on him. I'm sorry, but hygiene isn't about being a neat freak or pretty boy. It's about having some pride in your appearance. Lose him...I've been with someone with bad hygiene and it is a HUGE turnoff to where I also didn't want to kiss him or have sex with him. Find someone else.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 You say that you love him and want to have his children. Why? It just isn't at all clear from your letter why on earth you would want to do that.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (5 July 2009):
 This relationship is not the right one for you. He lied to you for a year, there's no attraction, there's cheating, there's jealousy. What is GOOD about this relationship?
It's sad that he's had a rough life, but you are not responsible for his happiness and you can't change him. It's not good that you cheated on him either.
This is not love. It's a bad habit. Drop him.
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