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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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Haven't heard from the guy I cheated with, what should I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a great man for 3 years. We love eachother and everything, but sex is out of the question. He is always working and I am always working so we barely have time for eachother. When we do have time I always try to get ...
A. 29 June 2009: You have a boyfriend, yet you're wondering why the guy you had an affair with is not calling you? Hmmm...well let me just start off by saying that instead of wondering when this guy will call you, maybe you should be wondering what you want in your ... (read in full...)
Sex during your period -- can you get pregnant?
Q. can you get pregnant if you had unprotected sex while on your period....
A. 29 June 2009: Along with everyone else, yes you can.... (read in full...)
Weirdest period I've ever had
Q. hey there, so I thought I started my period because I started to see a bit of blood but everytime I checked my pad or tampon or whatever it only had like a dot of blood so i switched to just using a pantyliner and i didn't see anymore blood. ...
A. 29 June 2009: Well my dad also thought he was sterile...and well look at me, I'm here! So don't necessarily think that pregnancy is out of the question.
Are you under a lot of stress? This has happened to me before. I was traveling across the country,... (read in full...)
What can I do? I can't seem to find happiness within me.
Q. I hate myself. I don't know, I can't think of anything good about me. I'm ugly, boring, bitter... I just can't think of anything good... it particularly upsets me that I was born ugly and boring. I feel like everyone else is better than me. I don't ...
A. 29 June 2009: It seems to me that you're your own worst critic. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways, not just what's on the outside. If you don't like the way you look, trust me there is something you can do about it. And no, it doesn't involve cosmetic ... (read in full...)
Why do good people always get hurt in relationships?
Q. So why is it that good people always get hurt in relationships? Why is it that when you really are good, caring, honest, and above all loyal to another person you always get screwed over in the end? I have (and not to brag but) been told before by ...
A. 28 June 2009: I'll give you a little insight. If you're dating women younger than you, then it's probably because they are too immature/inexperienced. Older women (I'm not talking old, like 25 and up) want guys like you. Why? Because most are over their ... (read in full...)
A woman scorned -- is she ever gonna leave me alone?
Q. Well im in a situation, i had a married woman at work who wanted to have an affair with me. I was very attracted to her and it took alot of resisting on my part to get away. She wouldnt let go, she wouldnt stop playing "games" with me at work....
A. 28 June 2009: Eww psycho! This may not be exactly the help you want, but you can always file a sexual harassment suit against her or even for a hostile work environment. Just because she's a woman, it doesn't make any difference. As I learned in my sexual ... (read in full...)
My roommate's b/f is racist, but I can't afford to move
Q. My best friend/roommate has been dating this guy for a little over three months. The problem is, I hate this guy. I've met him once, and he said some racist shit to me (I'm black, he's white). It wasn't just one comment either, it was quite a f...
A. 27 June 2009: You have the right to be comfortable in your own home and you also have the right to not be faced with racist remarks in your own home. What an idiot this guy is! Who does he think he is? Extremely rude, and if you rearranged his face with a ... (read in full...)
I feel stifled, cheated on my g/f of 10 years
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together just over 10 years. Last year I did what I shouldn't and had an affair. The affair has ended now but I still have feelings for the woman I was seeing. I am back with my girlfriend and still feel confussed. My ...
A. 27 June 2009: Thinks of it this way: any woman that has been with a man for 10 years and hasn't left him for not marrying her probably doesn't really feel that he's the one for her anyway. Cheating on her just to feel the void of your own insecurities was wrong ... (read in full...)
He's stopped texting me -- have we broken up?
Q. he just stopped texting me and im assuming we're broken up. its painful to just act like nothing happened and move on. i know it will not be a good idea to contact him. all my friends say wait for him to contact you, but im in pain. what do i do?? ...
A. 27 June 2009: No, don't wait one more day. Don't wait on him EVER. Do your own thing and get on with your own life. He'll notice that you're not paying attention and contact you eventually. I agree with your friends, let him contact you. There's no reason ... (read in full...)
Want to give my co-worker who I like a birthday present, any ideas??
Q. Hi, I was wondering what I should get a co-worker for her b-day coming up next week. She's turning 20, and currently in college. I.. like her kinda. I think it's close to mutual, not sure though as I don't understand women 100%. So what w...
A. 27 June 2009: Well if you don't want to come on too strong, a nice card (nothing lovey dovey) and a giftcard to either her favorite place to shop or eat would be nice. It's a thoughful gift but not too much effort. I think flowers are a better gift if two ... (read in full...)
How do I show him that I am meant for him?
Q. I'm so confused! Me and my boyfriend of 1 and 1/2 months broke up on the 18th. I was really crushed and still am to this day. It was so unexpected ;( He told me he wasn't ready to be with me because he was hurt too much before. I told him I was ...
A. 26 June 2009: One more thing. You said he races motocross. Maybe I'm wrong but usually they are what we call "bros" out here in California, and usually they're good for fun, but not relationships. ... (read in full...)
How do I show him that I am meant for him?
Q. I'm so confused! Me and my boyfriend of 1 and 1/2 months broke up on the 18th. I was really crushed and still am to this day. It was so unexpected ;( He told me he wasn't ready to be with me because he was hurt too much before. I told him I was ...
A. 26 June 2009: You're allowing him to do as he pleases and letting him know that you're going to sit around and wait for him. If you want him back then act like you don't care one way or another. You were only together a month and a half, that's the honeymoon ... (read in full...)
I'm on the pill but he didn't use a condom. Could I be pregnant?
Q. Could I be pregnant? Here is what happened: My period is supposed to start either today or tomorrow. I have been taking Femcon birth control pills for a year. Well, boyfriend and I had sex last week. He forgot to bring a condom, but since I am t...
A. 26 June 2009: You're probably fine. But there is Plan B that you can just get at any pharmacy. You have to go ask the pharmacist for it. But you only have 72 hours after to take it. There's always a possibility that you could be pregnant, but if you take ... (read in full...)
HOW do I get rid of this abuser once and for all?
Q. I need help on how to be strong and leave an abuser..An incident occured today where we were having an argument in his car. I was so fed up of hearing him say that he is going to move on and find him a new girl because he asked me a question whether ...
A. 26 June 2009: Does he work? This is what my mom did (before I was born) to get out of her abusive relationship: while he was at work, she got everything she needed together and left. Just find another place to stay ahead of time. Once you have everything ... (read in full...)
I can check his Facebook mail..Cant resist the temptation!
Q. Hey To cut it short, my exboyfriends facebook account still logs me in and he definately doesnt know. its really hard not to check his emails!! does anyone have a suggestion for me not too do it? Thanks......
A. 26 June 2009: Umm just don't do it. Delete your browsing history so it won't automatically show up and will get rid of your temptation if you just can't get in. Think about his privacy, it's rude. And you may see things you don't want to see. He's your ex, so ... (read in full...)
Why does he keep looking at other girls?
Q. heres my problem my boyfriend keeps looking at other chicks while he's with me and its so disrespectful even thought am so good looking girl i really dont wanna ask him to stop it because i dont wanna look not confident, i was wondering if there is ...
A. 26 June 2009: Maybe he doesn't realize he's doing it. But if he stares at them in like a disgusting way, then yeah that's a problem. Just so you don't go right out and make a scene, if you catch him doing it, say something like, "She's pretty cute, huh?" ... (read in full...)
Worried about going to the pool with my boyfriend because of my weight!
Q. okay so i have been with my boo for like a week now, school is done and he called me and asked if i want to go with him to the pool. but i am 13 and 210 pounds. but i look 160 pounds since im 5"5. but i am highly highly emberassed to go in the wate...
A. 26 June 2009: Just be confident! Enjoy yourself and like everyone else said, just wear something that covers up a bit. He's not going to suddenly dislike you because he saw you in a swimsuit. He likes you just the way you are. And like anonymous said, just ... (read in full...)
I can't take this constant abuse. If anything goes wrong its suddenly MY fault!
Q. I can't take the blaming anymore. Ive been dating a man for over a year and everything that goes wrong, every insecurity he has is somehow a result of something I've done. If his boss doesn't return a call to him, it's because of me. If someone ...
A. 26 June 2009: My goodness! Please leave this a-hole! You already know that he is ridiculous and that everything he blames you for is NOT your fault. What an idiot he is! Leave him before he brainwashes you into believing that everything is your fault. ... (read in full...)
I wish I hadn't gotten in touch again, what can I do?
Q. I was dating a guy for 3 years and we broke up. We didn't speak for 3 months and I emailed him last week and he responded briefly. After that I saw in a couple of times in work and he wouldn't look at me or say hello. I got upset and sent him an ...
A. 26 June 2009: Sometimes when we're angry, we will do things without thinking. And at the time that's what you knew you needed to do, right? That you need to move on. I can see how you would regret it later because you're probably thinking that it will ruin the ... (read in full...)
I have morning sickness....Am I pregnant?
Q. Welli've been having a lot of back pains and my period this month was early and spotted wit brownish color.I have mornin sickness alot at nite.an i us bathroom way more than usual.Do youthink im pregnant?...
A. 24 June 2009: Yes, take a pregnancy test. Yes, those are symptoms of pregnancy. Morning sickness doesn't have to be just morning, you can be sick throughout the day and especially at night. Frequent urination is also a sign. Get a test. If it's negative go ... (read in full...)
How can I make amends? I tried to make love to her while she was asleep...
Q. My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other going on five months now, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me by far, we share a lot of the same interests, enjoy the same things, and really hit it off better than I ever thought ...
A. 24 June 2009: I kind of agree is natasia. If she's your girlfriend and you started to make love, stopped, and then apologized...I really don't see what the big deal is either. I'm sure she was annoyed by it since she wasn't feeling well, and then she saw that ... (read in full...)
Was I being clingy?
Q. I am/was (idk right now) with a guy and we havent hung out for a month and I guess I would bug him a lot about the next time we would hang out whenever he said we would soon and he never would be able to. this is also in summer so I dont see him ...
A. 24 June 2009: Like the others, I don't know if you were being clingy. But always asking "when" you guys would hang out next may be rubbed off on him as clingy. Sometimes you have to relax and let the guy do the work. Obviously you were showing and effort and ... (read in full...)
I am really regretting this "open marriage" arrangement!
Q. I'm not sure how to begin. Several years ago, my wife and I agreed to an open-marriage. I'm not happy with it at all and feel neglected, and to be honest, I feel less of a husband. She knows how I feel and even has tried to stop several times, ...
A. 23 June 2009: So she brought it up...hmmm. Well if that's what she wants then that's what she's going to do. I don't see her changing if that's how she feels her marriage should be. Don't get down on yourself :( Sometimes we make mistakes and want to make our ... (read in full...)
I found out he has a girlfriend! WHY do boys lead girls on!?
Q. Why do boys lead girls on, kiss you, hug you, act like they care for you. then when it comes to it they 'don't want a relationship'? I was with my ex for almost a year and a half, it was so perfect to begin with, we were so in love, we broke up...
A. 23 June 2009: I don't mean to be harsh, but have you ever heard that you teach people how to treat you? A lot of times, guys that are your ex will try to be your "friend" and start showing you some extra attention because they know you're comfortable having sex ... (read in full...)
I'm concerned about my girlfriends sexual past, we broke up. Have I done the right thing?
Q. I recently broke up with my girl because of things she has disclosed to me about her sexual past. I know that may sound immature but it wasnt just the fact that I had thoughts of the guys she told me about her having sex with. The situation ...
A. 22 June 2009: No, you did the right thing. Even if she didn't have sex with them while you two were together, she may have done other things. But what can you believe? She's not trustworthy. It seems like she has a hard time saying, "no" so I don't know if I ... (read in full...)
He doesn't keep the conversation going in txting...is he interested?
Q. hey, i have a dilemma, i really like this boy. Im 18 and we have kissed (snogged) eachother twice now ..about 2 months apart..in the same night club. I knew him from my college and ive really started to like him. I somehow gathered the courage to ...
A. 22 June 2009: Hmm well...like others said, he may not be into texting. BUT if he's interested in you, then he would be interested in what you're doing as well regardless if it's through texts. I would lay off of him. You're chasing him right now and asking him ... (read in full...)
She flirts in front of my crush !
Q. My friend has been with her boyfriend for five years, she flirts with a lot of guys and to her bf she just pretends that the flirting is coming from a one way street, I just met her not for too long, I can see that she is very manipulative towards ...
A. 22 June 2009: She does this because she's insecure and needs attention. It makes her feel better if she can get a guy's attention that he isn't giving to her friend that likes him. To me, it is so juvenile. I had a friend do that in high school, but not as an ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends brother is dating a maniac! Should I do something?
Q. My boyfriend has a brother named *Jack and he has a child with his ex fiancee who left him a little less than a year ago.. Jack started to see a girl recently named *Dianne. My first impression of Dianne was not a very good one, she never looked ...
A. 22 June 2009: I'm sure he'll be fine. She will probably stalk him for a while after and then he'll just have to get a restraining order. But there really isn't anything you can do. If you try to get involved she will probably be even angrier and think that ... (read in full...)
My fiance just dumped me! I'm lost and need advice.
Q. The reason I'm in this beacuse my fiance for 6 years just dumped me I'm so lost. I move out the but still talk to him ...
A. 22 June 2009: The only way to try and move on is simply doing that: moving on. That means no talking to him! Don't talk to him on the phone, thru texting, thru email, thru snail mail...nada. And it is by all means not easy at all. You have to take it ... (read in full...)
I am really regretting this "open marriage" arrangement!
Q. I'm not sure how to begin. Several years ago, my wife and I agreed to an open-marriage. I'm not happy with it at all and feel neglected, and to be honest, I feel less of a husband. She knows how I feel and even has tried to stop several times, ...
A. 22 June 2009: So what made you guys agree to having an open marriage? Just my impression on open marriages is that it's usually one spouse convincing the other that it's a good idea, while the other just thinks it's ok if it makes the other person happy and that ... (read in full...)
When will she come back to me?
Q. A few days ago my girlfriend broke it off with me after 11 months of going out. That night she sent me a text message saying "goodnight..hang in there..if we are meant to be we will get through this and become stronger people for it. I still love ...
A. 20 June 2009: I think you are doing well at handling it so far, but I definitely think you should be a little more distant from her. She decided to end the relationship so she really should quit doing this to you, it isn't fair. You're allowing her to come in ... (read in full...)
It's driving me insane not hearing from her!
Q. So I met this great lady 1 year ago through work and we have been in touch every so often. Recently I have asked her a few times to see if she would go on a trip with me which she has done (to celebrate a new car) but she made it clear that she ...
A. 20 June 2009: Well I think she already told you that she wants to keep her business life and personal life separate. I don't think you should be open with her and tell her your feelings, especially when she's being unresponsive. Ignore her back. I know you're ... (read in full...)
G/f threw me out because I laughed when her bikini top got pulled off
Q. My girlfriend (of 2 years) is really mad at me for not covering her up at a pool party when my friend pulled off her bikini top and all I did was laugh and well me and my friend (we were both pretty drunk at the time) played monkey in the middle ...
A. 19 June 2009: I'm sure she was humiliated and you added to that humiliation. If your friend takes off your girlfriend's top, the last thing you should be doing is allow her to be exposed in front of other people. It really is f'd up, you owe her an apology, ... (read in full...)
Should I do another test?
Q. soooo Ive missed my period and is prob about 5 weeks pregnant,and took a pregnacy test but its was a cheap one around about £3. It came out negative,but to make it postivie,there had to be a line in the cirle and a line the the square,but I got a li...
A. 19 June 2009: Yes, take another test in about a week. If the other line is almost showing up but not quite, your body might not be producing enough of the hormone that the tests detect. So if you are pregnant, then giving it another week, your body will ... (read in full...)
My parents give me no freedom
Q. Okay so Im 15. I'll be 16 in less than 3 months and I have no freedom. My parents will not let me go out with friends unless they're there. I have a bf that only my mom knows about cause my dad would kill him and she doesn't want him to know. So now ...
A. 18 June 2009: I'm not sure how much help anyone can give you, because at your age, it's hard to get through to your parents that you are responsible enough to stay out of trouble. I had fairly strict parents as well growing up, and I was hardly allowed to even ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know about clinics, exams, costs ect?
Q. MOD NOTE: Poster is NOT 26, but a teen Hi! I'm a teen. And I would like to go to my Health Care Center and ask about getting the birth control shot (Depo-Provera). I need it really cheap since I can't use my parents insurance. Does anyone k...
A. 18 June 2009: Call Planned Parenthood and ask them...... (read in full...)
Do you think there was no interest ever on his part... or was he interested but our age difference bothered him?
Q. There's this guy that I really liked..we go to the same college, and from my intuition I thought he seemed pretty interested, he would stare at me a lot, look away smiling, we bumped into each other and he ran ahead to open the door for me, I think ...
A. 18 June 2009: So you're 25 and interested in dating a 17 year old? I really hope not. I'm the same age as you and that would never fly with me, regardless of how old he looks. I think this should totally be flipped around and you should be the one that's ... (read in full...)
Ladies, is "friends with benefits" ever NOT an attempt to lure an unattainable guy into an exclusive relationship?
Q. I've been in a FWB before. I am being offered another one now. Let's get real. Is this ever something girls do and they're NOT just settling for it? Wouldn't they ALWAYS really rather have an exclusive relationship with that guy if he was ...
A. 18 June 2009: Women are just different than men. Women pretty much always develop emotional feelings toward someone that they are having a sexual relationship with. In the beginning, they may feel that they can put their feelings and emotions aside even though ... (read in full...)
Boys are tooooo confusing!!! My ex is being all nice to me now!
Q. okay so my ex messages me the other day saying a bunch of very rude things to me. he was the one boy i was completely head over heals for. i mean im not gunna lie im still physically attracted to him but not so much mental. what do you think i ...
A. 18 June 2009: He's probably being nice because he wants something. Either out of boredom or he's feeling lonely. He's a jerk, don't give him the time of day. He'll just do it again-they don't change.... (read in full...)
Hes clearly not going to stop. How do I tell him I know hes still watching porn?
Q. I'v written on here before, and the advise I've been given is sound advise... It's about porn. My boyfirned used to watch a lot of porn. I'd talk a lot about it to him because I've never undertood the attraction myself. I'd tried watching it with...
A. 17 June 2009: Like everyone else said, pretty much every guy watches porn. It's really not something you should worry about, it's not like he's actually having sex with these women or even has a chance to. Sure he's imagining it, but even a lot of women imagine ... (read in full...)
How can I get that cheerful girl back?
Q. please bear with me and read this people.. i need as many opinions as possible.... i dumped my gf cuz i didnt love her... i deeply care for her though... she has become devastated... lost faith in relationships and has become extremely low esteemed ...
A. 17 June 2009: When you try to still remain friends with someone you broke up with that is still in love with you and didn't want the relationship to end; it only gives them a glimmer of hope that you'll change your mind and want to be with them again. The best ... (read in full...)
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