A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm bored this summer. I don't have a girlfriend and I don't know where to look for one. Sometimes I see some sitting alone in the park but is it normal if I went up to one? Certainly not. Where do I go to find someone nice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): The truth is, women will invariably pursue YOU if they want to, and not the other way round. This doesn't mean they'll walk straight up to you and proposition you, but if they like the way you look or the way you carry yourself, chances are they'll smile at you and make eye contact. At that point, you can take it as a 'green light' to make conversation with them.
Satin points out that 'there are women everywhere', which is indeed the case. But the harsh truth is, if you don't possess whatever combination of factors it is that makes women deem a man attractive, it won't matter how many women there are. I read a post here yesterday from a guy who estimates that he has approached 600 women in the past year, and not one of them showed a blind bit of interest. He sounded totally normal. You can be sure there are millions of men in the same situation.
Sexual/romantic success is something that isn't evenly distributed in this world, particularly among men. In general, they're either spoilt for choice with women chasing them day in day out, or stuck in a desert where women avoid looking at them and talking to them as if their lives depend on it, or somewhere in between. If you're lucky enough to be in the third category rather than the second, there's some hope, and all you can do is present yourself as impressively as possible, be genuine, be good company, and hope someone decides they want you. If so, THEY'LL let you know.
Pinktopaz's reply contains one key word which crops up again and again and again when women are asked what they find attractive in a man: 'confidence'. When they are asked what turns them off, the word 'desperate' also seems to be mentioned more than any other other. It can't be re-iterated often enough: they melt for guys who are 'confident' and run a mile from guys who seem 'desperate'.
So, a vicious circle. Success with women breeds confidence, which breeds more success, etc. Lack of success breeds lack of confidence, which eventually breeds desperation, and lack of success, often unto perpetuity.
It's a jungle out there. I guess this reply may not help you a whole lot, in terms of giving you helpful tips about what actually works on women, but I hope you get lucky.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (1 July 2009):
You can meet a girl anywhere. Sure you can meet a girl at the park. It doesn't matter where it is. Just be confident, have some questions planned out ahead of time so you don't stutter or come off strange. Girls like a guy who is confident, but not cocky. Someone who is straightforward, but doesn't appear desperate.
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