A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just some general thoughts and wondering how other people see things.I'm 28 years old, had a few relationships but seemingly haven't found the 'one' yet. This makes me ask myself whether i'm too demanding of what a relationship should be. The thing is I believe l was in love with all my girlfriends yet there was always something not perfect and things that got me down. So either I moved on or I became unhappy and the other person moved on. What are other peoples experiences, have you had to work hard for love and overcome things that make you unhappy and are now in a blissful state or has love come to you easily?Is the ideal of love just that, an ideal, not how a real relationship works. Personally I am tending towards that view and that to have a lasting loving relationship you need to grow up, be mature and accept another persons problems and difficulties. But then is that real love, or just living with somebody who gets on your nerves the least :-) Any thoughts? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Quartzite  +, writes (13 July 2009):
i've had to overcome stuff in all the relationships that i've had. itsa journey not a destination, yah know? love and how relationships work are two majorly different things.
something that i did when i was younger, and have been glad for thi every day since then, was to define what love meant to me. the definitions aren't the same form one person to the next, but knowing what it means to you is incredibly important. people tend to mix up the meaning love with other things, like lust or in some sad cases carte blanche.
set some time to try and define it for yourself, it may help you find what you're looking for
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 July 2009):
Nobody is perfect and relationships do take work; however, I think you should be able to effortlessly love someone. It depends on what you thought wasn't perfect, were they little things that really shouldn't have mattered, or were they things that most people wouldn't want to tolerate? Nobody can give a true explanation of love, it's an emotion. You can love someone, but some people may have faults that make you unhappy that you are unable to work through. And maybe you really haven't met "the one" yet.
Sometimes I think that I've had different types of love. At times I have loved someone, but when I think about it, sometimes I think I loved them as a friend and maybe I wasn't IN love. I think there's varying degrees of love, and there will be people that you love and people that you fall in love with.
...............................
A
female
reader, TheAgonyAunt +, writes (12 July 2009):
 I'm not that old enough to be completly expirienced in relationships, but I think that to love someone you need to except all their imperfections and truely accept them as they are, only then can you truely fall for someone.I have only been in one serious relationship which I'm still in and even though my boyfriend has alot of imperfections when I accepted them I fell in love with him and thye dont matter to me anymore :)Hope this helps :)
...............................
|
