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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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I thought he was rude to ask me to swallow so soon!
Q. i just started dating this 23 year old guy about a month ago..I'm 20..we became physical fairly quickly, but no sex...however the 2nd time i gave him oral sex he asked me to swallow...i thought that was very rude and being a big mouthed girl i ...
A. 16 August 2008: I honestly don't know why you would find that offensive. Obviously you're giving him oral to try to please him and him asking you to swallow was just something he wanted you to do to "enhance" the experience. I really don't think there's a certain ... (read in full...)
Go to counseling, deal with it or run?
Q. So, I've been with my now fiance for 2 yrs we've lived 2gthr 4 a while. He's caring and says that he wouldn't leave me and hasn't cheated. Problem is recently I found out he was dating his ex two months after we were "offical"! W...
A. 16 August 2008: Sorry, but...what a loser! You should not even consider marrying this so-called man. I doubt you want to be with a person like him your whole life. Don't settle for him--he doesn't deserve you! He deserves some other trash just like him! I ... (read in full...)
I'm at a loss for words, what's going on? Is he not happy anymore?
Q. Before I met my husband he had two children.we've been together for nine yrs and married for six yrs.I am pregnant with our third child my husband told me that if I have this baby it will make our relationship bad. he told me the way we intrepid ...
A. 16 August 2008: Whatever issue he has, I don't think it has anything to do with you. He's unhappy with himself and with what has been happening in his life, so he has decided to bring you down with him, hence, misery loves company. He is totally degrading you and ... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my boss
Q. I fancy my boss like crazy and i WANT to sleep with him, even though hes married and got kids? how do i get him 2 want me too? how shall i act? dress? make up? perfume? hair? ...
A. 15 August 2008: I find lots of people attractive and would like to have sex with them...but I don't. Find someone who IS NOT married that you find attractive and have sex with them. I'm sorry for being judgemental...but what kind of person are you? Knowing that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a break to straighten his life but I don't want to wait forever help?!
Q. My boyfriend told me he wanted a break so he can concentrate on working and moving out of his house so he can start college. I understand exactly where he is coming from too. He said he still loves me but now he never really tells me anymore. Im ...
A. 15 August 2008: All you can do is give him his space. If you try to push him for an answer or make him be with you, he'll really distance himself. Like I always say, get involved with things you like to do or try new things. You don't have to go out and find a ... (read in full...)
Should I accept sharing my boyfriend with another woman???
Q. I have a boyfriend who had this other not so serious relationship before we met. He continues to see that woman and tells me everytime that he sees her. As this bothers me, I do not know how to address this issue to him. I do not want to give him up ...
A. 15 August 2008: Why are you with him? You should be with someone who is devoted to you, not you AND some other woman. There are so many guys out there, why would you want to settle for someone who is selfish and wants to "have their cake and eat it too"? I'm ... (read in full...)
He has left his wife for me, but now my feelings have faded. What do I do?
Q. For the last few years I have been seeing a married man. He is from another country and comes here for work every few months. I truly loved him in the beginning but now I am not so sure that I do anymore... - HE recently left his wife (for me) ...
A. 15 August 2008: Be honest and don't get involved with married men. You probably liked the thrill of being the other woman that he longed to be with and now that you have him, you don't want him. Also, if you were to have a future with him, what makes you think he ... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm pregnant and don't know anyone old enough to buy the morning after pill.
Q. I'm Stephanie, I'm 13 and I've had sex about 2 days ago and that was my first time ever. I'm afraid I might be pregnant and I don't know anyone legal age besides family to buy me the morning after pill!!!! help please!...
A. 15 August 2008: You can go to Planned Parenthood--you don't have to have an adult get it for you. It's confidential.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied to me big time. Should I break up with him?
Q. so basically my boyfriend lied to me. big time. for starters, i don't want to be with someone that does drugs or drinks. so he told me that he's never going to drink or smoke weed ever again. so i trusted him and believe him. but then his friend ...
A. 15 August 2008: He's going to do what he's going to do. And trying to get him to not do those things IS trying to change him. That is the person he is--he likes to drink and smoke weed with his friends. If you want to be with someone who doesn't do those things, ... (read in full...)
How do you know how long you'll last in bed?
Q. well im 14 and i still havent went through full puberty. ( i got pubes and the parts are beggining to grow) so how can i know i can last in sexual intercourse? i mean i want to know because i dont want to last 5 minutes with my 1st time. sincerly ...
A. 13 August 2008: Well that's good of you to think that way. But don't set your standards too high your first time :)... (read in full...)
Should I take a chance and move with him, or stay and finish college?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He is on a visa and in 11 months he must find a waiver job somewhere in the U.S. or he must go back to his home country. He has asked if I would move with him, but his options are limited.It is ...
A. 13 August 2008: DON'T DO IT!!! I moved for a guy and it was only 4 hours away. I left a great job, my family, and set myself a year behind in college. Finish what you need to finish first; then consider moving with him.... (read in full...)
How can I get over my dependence on pot?
Q. so i have a drug problem. i have smoked weed for 17 years on a constant basis. it has never interfered with anything. i have always held a higher up position at work and i never let it come in contact with my family or anything. basically, you ...
A. 13 August 2008: I don't know if you know this or not, but marijuana isn't an addictive drug. You act like you "need" it and stated that your boyfriend quit "cold turkey." The reason why you feel depressed is because marijuana has been linked to depression. Just ... (read in full...)
How easy is it to kiss a friend who is drunk?
Q. never really got drunk, so wonderin at a club how easy is it to kiss a friend who is drunk? Nothing more just a nice kiss? :) coz i'm goin out soon. Thank you...
A. 13 August 2008: Wouldn't you rather kiss someone when it's more of a challenge than waiting for them to get liquored up?... (read in full...)
Should I participate in an orgy with my boyfriend and his 2 best friends?
Q. well i recently turned 16, so i wouldnt be doin anything illegal, and ive been sexually active with my boyfriend for over a year now, so i have nothing to lose, exept my pride? maybe? i just dunno!! my boyfriends friends and me were out in town on ...
A. 13 August 2008: Besides losing your pride, how about losing your self respect? If you don't want to do it, then don't. And even if you think you do, you will probably feel horrible after...not to mention that even though your silly boyfriend thinks it's a good ... (read in full...)
How do I trace the woman my husband met online and had an affair with?
Q. Husband has had a affair for 4 months last year with a woman he met on the internet. He then went to Afghanistan and we are no further forward in repairing the marriage. He is on leave at the moment and i have said in order for me to believe what he ...
A. 13 August 2008: First off, do you really want to know exactly what they did and how many times? You already know he's a liar and that he cheated, spare yourself some heartache and don't try to find out the details. Even if you did have any info on her, I don't ... (read in full...)
Is the younger man I'm seeing playing a game?
Q. I'm in love with a man who is forty years old and I am 60. I really don't look much older than late forties. We became very close last year, but then had a break up. We have now starting seeing each other occasionally again but there seems to be ...
A. 13 August 2008: Gosh, 40 year-old men still act like this?! Well, I would say that in his eyes, he's not playing games. But he may be having a commitment issue. This leads to him stringing you along because he cannot decide what he wants. Just live your own ... (read in full...)
What do you think, Is there ant hope for me?
Q. My bf of 4.5 years dumped me 2 weeks ago. He was acting distant and not really affectionate 3 weeks before we broke up. I knew he liked this younger girl at his job (we are only 21 yrs old btw and she just turned 17)... I kept asking and asking ...
A. 13 August 2008: Typical male...wants what he can't have. You noticed that when you cry and act upset he runs the other way, and when you're happy and not bothered he's interested. Like The Listener said, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I'm sure you ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he wants to have sex?
Q. My boyfriend always makes comments such as "lets have sex" but he only ever txts them so i dunno if he is being serious or not. How can i tell if he really want to have sex? As he is the shy type that wouldnt ever dream of saying it to my face and i ...
A. 13 August 2008: Oh, snap! 16 in September! Well that makes a huge difference...*rolls eyes*... (read in full...)
I slept with a married man who really seemed to like me. Now he says it won't happen again and not to tell anyone.help
Q. hi im a 30 year old female and been friends with a 30 year old male for about 3 years we talk on the net and hes always liked chatting me up we both have 2 children and hes married.when i went round a week ago we ended up having sex.and turns round ...
A. 13 August 2008: Didn't you just ask this yesterday? You asked if him saying that it was "no strings" really meant that it was "no strings." Get over him. Telling everybody not only looks bad on him, but also on you. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has started to ignore me and won't talk to me. How do I deal with this?
Q. hi. me and my boyfriend have been really happy until recently. we had a pretty gd relationship b4 but the only problem was that he never seemed to want to go out with me anywhere. recently my bf has started to ignore me and wen i try to tlk to ...
A. 13 August 2008: I don't think guys even know why they act this way. It's fairly common. Just give him his space. Pushing him to give you answers only pushes him away further. You're doing the right thing by not talking to him. He'll come around eventually, you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend might be going to prison for three months and his dad says they'll have to move away. Also his ex keeps coming on to him. HELP.
Q. Basically.. I'm goin out with a guy who's got a court case tomorrow because he got jumped on whilst out one night and used self defence. Unfortunately when the police pulled them apart, they found his work knife in his bag (He was not going to use ...
A. 13 August 2008: His dad threatening to move could just be out of anger--or he really could. Even if so, no. Your boyfriend doesn't have to go if he's an adult, but if he still lives at home, then I'm guessing that will be where he has to go if he has nowhere else ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he wants to have sex?
Q. My boyfriend always makes comments such as "lets have sex" but he only ever txts them so i dunno if he is being serious or not. How can i tell if he really want to have sex? As he is the shy type that wouldnt ever dream of saying it to my face and i ...
A. 13 August 2008: Of course he does! If he's male and has hit pubery, he wants to have sex with you. I think he's being serious, but too shy (as you said) to say it in a serious manner; in other words, he's immature. But that's a given when you're a boy in the ... (read in full...)
Am I getting too intimate with my cousin?
Q. My cousin is 15 years old and I am 16 and she moved right by me about 2 years ago. Ever since I always have an urge to have sex with her are just even fool around. I know its weird, and I am not a mentaly challenged person . We always flirt ...
A. 12 August 2008: Go for it if you want kids with webbed hands a feet and a leg growing out of its head. Ok, that was a bit insensitive. But DO NOT have sex with YOUR COUSIN!!! I'm not trying to poke fun, but doesn't that gross you out at all? Maybe because I'm ... (read in full...)
Will I look 'too keen' if I call him?
Q. I have a crush on this guy and he sms'd me asking me how i was and what i've been doing, he then asked me to call him one day when i go out so that we could catch up. The thing is, my guy friend says that i shouldnt call up my crush but wait until ...
A. 12 August 2008: He's interested, but don't call him. That's making you do the work instead of him. Trust what your guy friend told you--he's right.... (read in full...)
It hurts me when I see my ex talking to other guys, how do I get over this jealousy?
Q. I have just sort of ended a relationship with my girlfriend of 3 years and I am only 18! Yeah I know pretty young right...but how can you put an age or love. Well any way we took a break sort of, and right now it makes so mad when she talks to other ...
A. 12 August 2008: So you sort of ended a relationship with her and you sort of took a break? So the question is, are you two together or not? If you decided to end things with her, you would have to expect that she's going to move on. If it's really soon after the ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a girl, but she continues to stay with her controlling boyfriend. What to do?
Q. I need some advice I've fallen for a girl who I work with. For the past couple weeks we've been going out and having a good time but she already has a boyfriend. They keep arguing especially when he's had a drink and when he's had a drink he treats ...
A. 12 August 2008: I would say to not get involved. I'm guessing you want to "save" her, but she's with him by choice. She's just going to have to live and learn on her own. If you get caught up in that drama, you don't want him after you! People do crazy things ... (read in full...)
How do you know how long you'll last in bed?
Q. well im 14 and i still havent went through full puberty. ( i got pubes and the parts are beggining to grow) so how can i know i can last in sexual intercourse? i mean i want to know because i dont want to last 5 minutes with my 1st time. sincerly ...
A. 12 August 2008: Like harcourt said, don't worry about that sort of stuff your first time. It's already probably going to be awkward and something exciting and new to you--so don't even worry about how long you'll last. That stuff comes later, when you're older ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to cheat and 'have fun' while you are young?
Q. im a 15 yr old young man, and lots of my friends say its fine to cheat on girls at my age and just be with girls to "have fun", personally i disagree with this because i disagree with cheating and i dont think its right to cheat at any age ...
A. 12 August 2008: Yes, you're right. There's never an excuse that it's "okay" to cheat...whether it's because you're young or because you don't like the person you're with. With that said, a relationship is pointless if you want to have "fun." If you want to have ... (read in full...)
Are there any other couples still using condoms after getting married?
Q. My husband and I are married less than a year and we're still using condoms just to play safe. We've tried without once or twice but are too scared. Just want to know if there are any couples who are still using condoms after getting married. Or...
A. 12 August 2008: Try contraceptive pills. I highly doubt you'll die from a blood clot--I smoke all the time and I've been on birth control for 7 years. However, you can see if they offer a IUD (intra uterine device). They insert it into your uterus and there's no ... (read in full...)
We had anal sex, and I hurt her, now she is too afraid to try it again, how do I regain her trust and assure her that I will not hurt her again, if we have anal sex??
Q. How do i earn my fiances trust to do anal again? My fiance always loved it when i toyed with her from behind, and when we finnially did anal it went well and she loved it but i accidentally went to deep and hurt her. I felt absolutely terrible that ...
A. 12 August 2008: You can't guarantee it won't hurt again, because it will. If she doesn't want to do it, then she doesn't want to. If you just leave her alone about it and maybe just ask once further down the line, she may be more open to it. But the more you try ... (read in full...)
I am 14 years old and I really want to have a baby, I think I would make a great mom, I take care of my brother and sister all the time, please tell me what you honestly think??
Q. iam 14.and i'll be 15 in about 6 months.i want a baby so bad.my om never around so i take care of my brother and sister all the time.grew up rough no dad you know...i would be a amazing momma.people are costanly telling me im already mommy and i ...
A. 12 August 2008: Someone in your age group seriously just asked this like a week ago. So I'll just go back over what I said before, who is going to support the baby and how are you going to finish school? Do you want your child to grow up without a father like you ... (read in full...)
We are getting married soon, I am happy but anxious about the wedding etiquette, as I don't know much about it, how do I enjoy my wedding with the qualms I am feeling, I don' t like crowds; or speaking in front of more than six people. please help me
Q. I'm really looking forward to marrying my fiance and feel sure we'll build a good life together and make each other happy. My problem is that when we were first planning the wedding it was a long way off, but now that it's drawing near I'm feeling ...
A. 12 August 2008: It's your wedding, you don't have to stand up and speak to everybody all at once. I can definitely see how you could feel this way. It's all very overwhelming. It is considered polite to go out and speak to the guests at the tables once the ... (read in full...)
My friend wants to marry her long-distance love--should I say something?
Q. My friend is 15 and has been with her 17 year old boyfriend for around eight months or something. They met online and have only really met up five times in the time they've been together (We live down south and he lives up north), yet I've found out ...
A. 11 August 2008: I think that if you tell her anything she's going to be annoyed and assure you that you don't understand or know what you're talking about. Sometimes people need to make their own mistakes and learn from them--even if it is something as steep as ... (read in full...)
He said it was no strings sex--how do I know?
Q. hi im 30 in relationship with 2 children.ive known this guy 4 years as friends and we had sex together the other day he is also married with 2 kids he said it was just sex how do i know if its anything more need advice.he keeps saying dnt tell know ...
A. 11 August 2008: Sorry to be so blunt, but he used you. If he said that it was JUST SEX, that's all it was. He may not regret doing it because he probably cheats on his wife all the time. He's an adulterer and so are you. Quit cheating on your boyfriend and ... (read in full...)
He dates younger girls--is that okay?
Q. Is it bad for a 24/25 yr old male to be dating an 18 yr old female? i was on bebo and saw a comment on a guy i likes page and it said "ahaha you only date girls who were born in the 1990's"? so is it bad? does it make the "24" yr old seem desperate ...
A. 11 August 2008: Well, in a way...yes. But I think it's all just a matter of opinion. Most of the time it's more acceptable for men to date younger women...even if they are 18. I would never date a guy much younger than me (more than a couple years) because ... (read in full...)
She's 13--does the age difference matter?
Q. ok.. so this girl i like is 13 and im 16 does age really matter?...
A. 11 August 2008: It probably doesn't matter to the two of you or your peers, but I'm sure it will matter to her parents. 13 is awfully young, but hey so are you. To each their own.... (read in full...)
Was it my fault? And is it ever O.K. for a man to hit, push, and rough-house a woman?
Q. Hi, Is it ever O.K. for a man to hit, push, and rough-house a woman? My boyfriend of three years bruised me up pretty bad a few weeks ago, but claims he had the right to do it, saying he was defending himself. What happened was, I ended up slap...
A. 11 August 2008: I would like to know what he said to you that cause you to slap him.
I know everybody else has said that you shouldn't have slapped him, but if he said some nasty things...like REALLY nasty things, he could have deserved it. A slap in the face... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my ex boyfriend
Q. I cant stop thinking about my ex-boyfriend. We broke up in May, I haven't seen him or spoken to him since early June. I dealt with the break up, the emotions and I got over it. I even stopped thinking about him. He broke up with me because it wa...
A. 11 August 2008: Yes, I know what you're going through. It's weird to think, but it's like emotions come in these waves of not really caring/not having a need to speak to him, then to not being able to get him out of your mind and constantly wondering what he's up ... (read in full...)
What are the risk of changing the times you take the contraceptive pill?
Q. Hey...im kind of confused I've been on hormonal birthcontrol pills 4 a month and some weeks and I have asthma I take advair a medication for my asthma is that going to affect the pills from working or are they gunna still work I need help cause I ...
A. 11 August 2008: Call your doctor or advice nurse. I'm sure they would have a better answer than any of us. ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with the guy I don't like as much?
Q. Dear Cupid, I really like this guy(j) but i also like his best friend(joe). Joe asked me to have sex with him but i dont like him as much as j. I want to have sex with joe but im afraid that it will hurt my relationship with j. i know i should...
A. 11 August 2008: Why do you even need to have sex with either of them? Hopefully you don't agree to have sex with any guy who asks you just because they asked. Like superrrshawna said, a simple "no" should be good enough.
... (read in full...)
Can someone help me interpretate this dream?
Q. Okay, my dream starts off with me running around in this old abandoned school house. I used to go to school there but it's now closed. I dreamed I was in this room alone and I saw this picture on the wall. It was of Jesus and he was wearing the ...
A. 11 August 2008: Find a dream book. Personally, I don't think that your dreams really have any definite meaning behind them. I've had dreams about my teeth falling out--it's supposed to mean something, but I cannot remember. Nobody knows for sure why we even have ... (read in full...)
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