A
female
age
36-40,
*ubblygirl
writes:What else can I do to finally move on?Two years ago, I fell in love with a guy at work and things started moving towards a relationship. Long story short, he ended up being a player who used me, only talks to me for sex, ignoring me otherwise and was sleeping with other girls behind my back. Last summer he dated a co-worker while I watched in horror as he flaunted her in front of me. He cheated on her and she broke it off. This summer he is up north with a collegue and it feels the same as last year. He continues conversation with me though, all sexually related.I have tried going out with friends and meeting people to the point where I am never really home. I tried looking for another boyfriend and found nothing. I feel all alone and am going crazy. I cant stop hurting since he was my first love but I need to move on, but how? Please help!
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (3 July 2009):
If you've done everything else, as far as trying to keep your mind off of him, then the last thing you need to do is cut off contact with him. From what you said, it sounds like to two never had a "real" relationship, being that you said, "...things started moving towards a relationship." I just bring this up, because once you get over him, you'll realize you never loved him and that he isn't someone you want to consider your first love.
Anyway, from my experience and lots of others', the #1 thing to do is no communication with the person you're trying to get over. When you continue to speak to them, regardless of what the content is, it just drags on the process and makes it nearly impossible. Feelings don't change overnight, it takes time (I know everyone hates the answer of "time"), but once you end communication with him, things will get better. I promise. Continue to go about your life and try to go out and meet new people, that's good. You'll find someone new when you're not even looking ;)
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (3 July 2009):
 Stop being available for conversations or anything else. Delete him from your facebook. Avoid his calls and e-mails. In time you will heal and get past this hurt. But until you cut him off completely you will never see the great guy that's just around the corner.
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