A
female
age
36-40,
*ostNlies
writes:I am so confused. I live the "perfect family lie," as I am a stay at home mom with 2 kids, one in school and one infant. Lately things have gone down hill majorly. My husband, who before the baby came, and still LOVES my first child, but I sometimes wonder if thats why we stay together. His family supports my decisions, in any worst case, but I have no family, no money and 2 kids in a poor economy that its almost impossible to get a job for me to support them. He has been laid off, and instead of looking for work, he is looking for escorts, transgenders, and a whole lot worse... I am so disgusted with him, but have nothing. I am only in my mid-upr 20's and i know i can still find someone, but i did not graduate college, and its been over 3 years since my last job. How can i leave my "trying to cheat" husband with me having not money, nor family? My dad always helped me, and when he passed in april i knew things would get worse after that. and they did. My husband has taken any and everything of value and sold it for his cheap thrills, and other unnecessary wants so i have nothing or no one but his parents who offer to move me and the kids in with them, but they live next door!!! what is a girl to do? i have to get away. i am tired of being taken for granted and unappreciated.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 October 2011):
 Unless you signed a prenup he would most likely be required to give you a good portion of his money. That's a large reason why there is division of the assets in a divorce, so that husband lacks this kind of power over a stay at home mom/wife. If there was no division of the assets, not only would a woman in your situation have no option to leave but in another situation a husband could also threaten his wife into doing things "you clean this or I'll kick you out and you'll be homeless and penniless" etc... He also would almost certainly be required to pay child support.
If you can't stay with a friend or family member, go stay at a women's shelter until your divorce is finalized. You might also have a chance at getting your house.
A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (15 October 2011):
You do have options. One option is to take the offer from his parents n move in with them. If they can help with the kids go back to college. Take out loans and a job on campus. Another option is take out loan of about 15 hundreds dollars and go get yr CNA certification from the Red Cross. Regardless of where u stay u have openings in ur area for CNAs. The pay is usually only 9hr but that helps tremendously. Even if you have to go to school one semester just to get the money to take the CNA classes its worth it. So look at your options and be determined. When u do become stable don't look back success and greatness is ahead for u. Have courage, u don't need your husband. And frankly I believe if u take the plunge u will be a independent whole happy person. There are jobs out there. We Americans just don't want them. Janitorial, farming, CNA. U can do whatever u dream if u have the Passion and determination. Your kids are your motivation. Move in with his parents and weigh other options. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (15 October 2011):
If you get divorced, your husband will be required to pay you child support and probably also spousal support if and when he gets a job. So you won't be completely penniless. You will probably have to adjust to a lower standard of living than you have now, but it could still be adequate.
You should get out of this marriage, because it's emotionally damaging to you, which could further keep you trapped in your awful situation by making you depressed the longer that time goes on and you stay in this environment.
Already your husband is unemployed, and if he continues to waste his time on his destructive habits instead of finding a job it's not like he's exactly supporting you that much financially anyway. So there really is not that much financial benefit to staying with him.
How about asking if you can move in with friends temporarily? In return you could do the house chores for them while you continue to search for a job. You're already doing housechores for someone now anyway (your hb). good luck.
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