A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi :)So just wanted to talk about a problem im having and hope you guys can offer some reassurance..Iv been dating a guy for about 3 months now and its all going great. we've been sleeping together for about a month now and really care about each other.But the other day my boyfriend asked about giving me oral sex. I have given him oral and i'm fine with doing that. But im a bit nervous about letting him go down on me.I'm just worried he won't like the taste or smell.He keeps telling me not to be silly and that he only wants to please me.Can you guys help me in trying to get rid of my fears and just be confident with it?any girls out there know how to just relax and not worry during it?Any men able to offer some reassurance that im being silly?thank you!xx.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much guys for your advice and reassurance.
After reading all your responses, i decided to just be confident and not worry.
It went well and I just releaxed and enjoyed it.
I was a bit nervous to begin with but once we got into it, things just happened naturally :)
Thank you so much again!
xx.
A
male
reader, unknown2u  +, writes (19 October 2011):
No need to be insecure about it. It's a tremendously erotic experience -- I suspect I get far more out of it than my wife does. Be it pheremones or whatever, the taste, the smell, and the closeness of it -- it's simply marvelous.
The others are quite right -- if you're self conscious, then by all means shower right before. As long as you're healthy and fresh, it's almost impossible for a guy who likes to do it anyway to be put off. But as you get more comfortable, being a bit less fresh is not only fine, but even better. Napoleon, two days out on his way back to Paris, used to send Josephine a note: "Ne lave pas" -- don't bathe.
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female
reader, Koala Bear  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 I honestly don't see this as being any other issue than an insecurity issue. Maybe it's just me, but I think that type of mentality is not healthy. For some one to devalue or feel a shamed of their most intimate parts most likely is a result of a traumatic or unpleasant experience.
You refusing to allow him to pleasure this way is a mental and emotional barrier you are preventing from him crossing. You being "fine" with giving him oral seems like you view it as a chore rather than bonding experience. If you are going to have sex then be ready to be bare, naked, and devoured spiritually and physically. You should also be prepared to fully indulge in that person soul as well.
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (18 October 2011):
Remarkably no one has mentioned my favorite number, 69. Both giving and getting at the same time, doesn´t get much better than that! In the good old days this happened before you ever had sex, but now oral sex seems to be something that couples ponder about trying months after they've been having sex, funny old world!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): I beg to differ with an earlier poster, provide the woman keeps herself clean, she does taste like fine cuisine.
She doesn't need to use any deodorant, soap and water externally is fine, and wash your butt.
Then, relax, and let him figure out what is needed to please you. Which will take some time, both for you to relax as well as for you both to figure out what pleases you the best.
I think most women who have had good oral sex, receiving it that is, will agree that there is nothing better once they get over the initial shock and learn to relax (which is a learned skill).
But, perhaps you should ask the women that question.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 October 2011):
 Some men really like the taste and smell. That smell contains high levels of pheromones (sex hormones). Trust him when he says he wants to do it. Some guys hate it, some will do it to be nice, but some truly do just really like it.
If you're self-conscious about the smell, make sure you shower beforehand so you can relax a little. My boyfriend actually dislikes when I shower right beforehand because there's nothing to smell, so showering really will wash away everything.
Also I know this will sound a bit odd, but if you're still nervous about smell have him go down you around when you're ovulating. Around that time of the month most women just smell better to guys. They've done studies where they ask men to smell sweaty t-shirts from women and the shirts worn when the women were ovulating smelled best. Also they've found that strippers tend to make a lot more money around that time.
As for appearance, every woman looks different. There's no standard for what women are supposed to look like down there. But I'll put it this way, when was the last time you heard of a guy declining oral sex because he was worried that his penis was a funny shape? If you're self-conscious, turn off the lights.
Also, you might be too nervous to fully enjoy it the first few times, so give yourself a chance to fully get comfortable with having him down there before you give up on it.
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female
reader, janice201149 +, writes (18 October 2011):
 Both men and women rank oral sex highly when it comes to what they enjoy most in the bedroom - and no wonder! Not only is oral sex great foreplay, but when done right it's also one of the most intimate and mindblowing sexual acts you and your partner can enjoy.
If you feel a bit squeamish about the whole thing (whether it's giving, or receiving), don't be.
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female
reader, tb0721 +, writes (18 October 2011):
 I say go for it. I too had the same problem and thought it was gross for a guy to be down there. He would tell me the same thing, "i just want to please you" and honestly they arent lying. The first time you try it, it will definately be hard to relax or at least it was for me. The more comfortable you get with each other, the tension seemed to wear off. Definatley washing before and cleaning up down there will help to relieve some fears of smell as you will know you are freshly clean. Its definately not as intimidating as some of us girls anticipate :) Good luck!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 October 2011):
 As a woman who gives and receives oral I can tell you that if a person likes doing it they will do it... Many men and women LOVE to go down on women... (and vice versa)
be freshly showered (for your own peace of mind) and relax... just let it happen...
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female
reader, KittieS +, writes (18 October 2011):
 You're in a trusting relationship, you are bound to be nervous at first.Have a nice shower, and use scented cream on your legs, eat lots of fruit for a while (stay away from fish, it can have an affect - it affects guys, actually if men drink a lot of pineapple juice that's meant to make sperm taste/smell nicer - different subject!)I think if you wash regularly then actually from what I've read girls don't tend to taste of anything or smell of anything., although this may vary depending on the time of the month.I'm sure he has a fair idea what you smell like anyway, I'm sure he's touched you and not to be gross about it but he possibly can smell it on his hands.If you have unprotected sex, then sperm can make you taste/smell differently, so keep that in mind.Otherwise, just let him go for it! You may be very pleasantly surprised!! Well actually I'm sure your be very pleasantly surprised!
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reader, serenity80 +, writes (18 October 2011):
I'm sure he will love it, you just need to relax and feel how good it is rather than being worried about what he will be thinking.. personally I would say make sure there are no hairs in the immediate area but that's just my personal preference, and also have a shower before you get intimate so that you know you are smelling good.
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male
reader, Mylifesnotadreamyet +, writes (18 October 2011):
Haha okay, so I am guy I will help you out the best of my capabilities, it best for you and your partner to feel comfortable around eachother completely naked. I for one know what is good and isn't good. It is completely normal. It's kinda difficult to answer. I will tell you probably the best situation for something like this to happen. If you are worried about smell and taste. To get comfortable with eachother try showering with your partner or after a shower when you are the cleanest. Just make sure you thoroughly clean down south before and after any sort of intercourse. Bacteria from the mouth could cause UTI (urinary track infection)
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reader, N91 +, writes (18 October 2011):
 Just lie back and enjoy, be happy you've found a guy that wants to go down as pretty much every guy I've spoken to about it tells me they hate it and won't do it!
Let's be honest, it doesn't taste like fine cuisine, but it doesn't taste bad either, its not like he's eating a meal, he's trying to please you! Just have fun with it.
Hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): If you feel that way I would wait a bit longer. I know some people might feel like if you've had sex already then what's the worry, but I'm totally with you on this one. It takes a while to feel comfortable enough with someone to let them be so intimate. 3 months isn't long into a relationship and I have been in your position and my partner understood that I felt nervous. If he is right for you he will respect that you would like to wait a while. I didn't want to offend my partner so I told him that I was happy to do all we we doing and was really honest and said I was nervous about oral sex and it wasn't anything to do with him but I just needed more time to be confident. I knew he was decent when he never pushed the issue and then when it happens you know it will be when you are ready. Take care x
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