A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,I have a cousin who for a few months hooked up with this gorgeous chick. She was a 26 year old model, and he was a 40 year old government worker. He was head over heels for her, and spent money on her, took her places, etc. We in the fam couldn't figure it out. What the hell was she doing with him?I mean, I know you guys are gonna say the obvious--she as using him for his dough. Which she was, no doubt. But he's not rich. She coulda been using another richer sucker, not Randy.After like 3 months, they started fighting after Randy learned she was seeing some other guy as well at the same time, so it ended. But after talking with him and some other guys, I came to an interesting observation.I think this chick liked hanging around Randy not as much for the money, but for the fact that Randy for a couple months was in this trance where all he was thinking was "I can't believe I am lucky enough to be able to spend time with this amazing chick!!!" And my theory is...that's what drew her to Randy.You see, my fam's theory is that this girl hung out with Randy because she liked being admired. Guys her own age who were good looking, wealthy, successful would have liked her but would have also expected stuff from her. Randy sort of was in a daze with her, she could do no wrong when she was with him, he treasured each moment.So what do you guys think? Is this possible? Do beautiful girls sometimes be with people out of their league just because they love the attention?If so...what a skank! lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012): it sounds like she really liked him, he is more than likely a nice guy. seems like you are jealous of him. you may need to learn from him, and stop being a self centered person maybe good looking women might come your way also. there is more to a person than what you see, the real person is on the inside. maybe he has something you don't have on the inside.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012): People can be attracted to what's inside sometimes
The more attractive people aren't always so great deep down.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012): People can be attracted to what's inside sometimesThe more attractive people aren't always so great deep down.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 I will state the obvious: women do not necessarily date someone because he is good looking or changes his underwear often. Maybe she liked Randy. Or, maybe Randy -who may have been named very aptly- was in the business as well?
I say, he had his chance, and so did she. Nothing else matters.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012): Dear OP,I want to be short and to-the-point with you.Firstly, 'Beautiful Women' isn't a group similar in mentality, motives, feelings, and intention. One beautiful woman might be in for love or for anything else. It all depends on what this very woman wanted in your case. The mere fact of being a beautiful woman, is not a stand-alone factor to define her mentality and intention. Other aspects, such as behaviour, things he realised about her which he mentioned to you or to someone else, or information revealed about her from an external source.If beauty is the sole factor, then you OP are reading too much into it, which takes us to the second point anyway.Secondly, your question implies a fair amount of disbelief that your cousin is worth of the genuine interest of a beautiful woman. May I enquire about any certain reason for this? Do you think of him as a brother, you feel bad to see someone taking advantage of him, and you feel 'involved'? I can appreciate this, but you have to remember that each is fully and solely responsible for his own life. However, in this case, he knows exactly how you feel about him, and will listen to you carefully, ensured you have his best interest in your heart.In case you were asking because there is some jealousy behind it, sit alone, think about it, and give it a genuine try to handle and control your own issues.Regards,Zee
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Have you and your family ever considered the fact that the girl likes genuine nice guys? Not all females are shallow, personality can out weigh looks and its the whole person she liked. At her age shes dating and maybe she never had a discussion with Randy that dating doesnt mean the same as being exclusive and this is why he was upset because he as a 40 year old thought it was exclusive.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 April 2012):
 "I mean, I know you guys are gonna say the obvious--she as using him for his dough"
Well that's funny, because my first though was that she probably LIKED him. Why is that so hard to imagine? Is he a complete a-hole or something, since this thought is so unimaginable to you?
Like you said yourself, he isn't rich, so obviously it wasn't the "dough".
""I can't believe I am lucky enough to be able to spend time with this amazing chick!!!" And my theory is...that's what drew her to Randy."
My theory is.. That's what drew her away. People don't like being idolized or glorified unless they are narcissist. And a dog-like adoration isn't attractive at all. It'll turn most women AWAY, not draw them in. It might be amusing, sure, for the first few DAYS. After weeks of it.. well most would be on the verge of barfing.
"Randy sort of was in a daze with her, she could do no wrong when she was with him, he treasured each moment."
Exactly, he didn't put himself as her equal, he idolized her, he glorified her, he showed a lack of self respect, he was being pitiful etc. No offense to Randy. I am sure he is a lovely chap. But starting to behave like a dog and not like a man will NOT keep the ladies around. We want men. Not pets who eat out of our hands.
No, she probably actually liked him, believe it or not. That is the most common and down to earth explanation. It certainly is a lot more realistic than your idea. Maybe they wouldn't have lasted either way regardless of how he behaved, and I'm not saying she was a prize either. But he didn't do himself or the relationship any favour by worshipping her to this degree.
Conclusion: she was a skank for two-timing him. But that's it. I bet she actually liked him to begin with, until he over-did it and that is what ultimately drove her away. Like I said.. women want men, we want lovers, we want partners... If we want a dog we'll get a dog...
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 April 2012):
 He could have just been nice?
I have heard of both men and women going out with less attractive people though, just to be on a pedestal for awhile, but I don't immediately think that's what happened here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Well it sounds like to me that you could be just a tad bit jealous??
Obviously he just wanted her for her good looks. Obviously she wanted him because he spoiled her and she wanted to get lots of attention. I think they are both dumb and belong together.
After he found out that she was a liar and cheated, I wonder if it was all worth it in the end??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): sure she could have been with him because the attention gave her a big ego boost. maybe she had low self esteem at the time and felt the need to be in ANY relationship doesn't matter with whom.
it's definitely true that people tend to gravitate toward others who are "in the same league" ..that's not being shallow it's a fact. people who are with partners who are out of their league usually end up dissatisfied or feeling insecure in the long run unless one of them changes to be in the same league as the other eventually.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 April 2012):
 They go out with me - and I am one of the UGLIEST dudes you are ever likely to see - because they love my brain AND certain other physical attributes that I have....
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 April 2012):
 maybe she really liked him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): There's another possibility - that she liked him for who he was but just wasn't the type to settle for one person. Or maybe she had been let down in the past and was hedging her bets. These things happen to lots of people, beautiful or not.
Are you jealous?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Some people do like to be with people who treasure the ground they walk on whilst expecting nothing in return.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): She went out with him because he was bold enough to ask. "Beautiful girls" are often admired but not asked out as often as everyone thinks and spend a lot of time wondering why that is. It was a bonus for her to be admired like that by someone who sounds like a nice guy with a nice life. Usually only the dogs are bold enough to ask out a beautiful girl. Why is it a bad thing if she enjoys someone being enamored by her... don't we all like that?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 April 2012):
 I think it's possible that some chicks will date a guy for the material good they might get out of the deal. After all morals and values are about as common as the elusive common sense these days.
Look around you, there are website for "sugardaddies" the media put teenage girls in Loubotin shoes and Kooba purses.
However, maybe Randy seemed like a nice guy or she was just a truly shallow & self absorbed chick.
Honestly, I think SHE was out of his league of decent human beings.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): OK, I'm the OP here. Let me clarify. I love Randy, so do the fam. But Randy is overweight, balding, with low income. This girl was drop dead gorgeous. Yeah Randy has his charms but not enough to score this kinda babe. Got to keep it real you know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): I think you are being horribly rude to think the way you do about your cousin. You are also gossiping with family about him. The fact of the matter is- you don't know this girls life experience or her values. Perhaps Vharacter and personality are much more important to her.
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