A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so i have a bit of a stupid question, if a man or woman are married and one of them sleeps with someone else over and over its an affair. but if its just a guy and girl dating, is it still called an affair? and is it really wrong to flirt and sleep with the guy if u really really really love him more then his gf ( who have only been dating three months) and if the other girl and him have been flirting for 4 months. B4 him and his ex got back together. thanks for the advice in advance
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affair, flirt, got back together, has a girlfriend, his ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (4 April 2012):
 Of course it's still cheating. If his gf didn't love him, she wouldn't still be with him, no matter what the guy you're with says. If the guy you're sleeping with won't end things with his current girlfriend to be with you, he doesn't love you more. Sorry to be blunt, but he doesn't have something more special with you than his girlfriend/truly love you or he would have a legitimate public relationship with you. If he cared about you at all and wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Not hiding you on the side while he dates someone else. I doubt I've ever heard of an affair happening without the cheating person telling the person he's cheating with he really loves her more, but can't be with her because of x y and z.
You're not someone he loves, you're someone he has sex with and you deserve better than that. If he wound up staying with you and not her, he'd eventually cheat on you too, I guarantee it. This is not a guy who gives a darn about hurting people, he just wants to get his rocks off and stroke his ego. You need to stop this and go find someone who cares about you. Get some self-respect, you don't need to be skulking around having sex with other women's boyfriends to have a partner.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 April 2012):
Just because YOU THINK you love him more than his GF does not make it right.
DO you think if he leaves her for you he won’t cheat on you????
While I personally find the married/taken/attached partner who cheats more wrong than the single party who convinces themselves in a delusional manner that it won’t happen to them and they are in the right because they are the better person, I still think that KNOWINGLY having a secret relationship of any sort with a taken person is wrong.
A real man, a true man, a GOOD man would do the right thing and leave her first before taking up with another woman.
Those who are the single partner who assists in the cheating always think that they won't be the one cheated on next... "it will be different, I'm special..."
NOT to him... his morals and ethics allow him to cheat on someone he supposedly loves....
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 April 2012):
 A rose by any other name smells as sweet. Same thing about cheaters only they stink.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 April 2012):
 You can "bend" it anyway you like in your mind, but deep down you know it is cheating.
It DOESN'T matter if you love him or not, or if he loves you, or the both of you.
CHEATING IS CHEATING. A ring on the finger doesn't mean squat when it comes to cheating. Either you are in a committed monogamous relationship or you are not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2012): Of course it is cheating. He has a girlfriend.
While you may love him, he is taken. If he wants to be with you he needs to end it with his girlfriend.
Put yourself in her shoes - if you had a boyfriend and some girl you dont know kept flirting and sleeping with him just because she loves him. How would you feel?
He is either using you or hasn't got the balls to break up with his girlfriend.
You dont need a guy like this. If he is willing to cheat on his girlfriend - and say one day he becomes your boyfriend - do you really think he will have any problems cheating on you? Probably not.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (4 April 2012):
Yes it is still an affair, cheating, whatever you want to call it and it is wrong.
If he wants to sleep with you, he needs to finish it with his girlfriend.
I don't know how you can say you love him more than he does, but put yourself in her shoes.
If you love him as much as you say you do and were his girlfriend, how would you feel if you found out he was sleeping with someone else?
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 April 2012):
 Yes it is still an affair, regardless of whether the couple are married, living together, or just dating. Cheating is cheating, no matter what label a couple has on their relationship - at the end of the day if you are in a relationship with someone but sleeping with another person behind their back it is cheating. End of story.
And yes it is VERY wrong to flirt and sleep with a guy who has a girlfriend. It doesnt matter how much you love him, and you have no way of knowing how much his girlfriend loves him either! Are you inside her head? Are you some sort of mind reader? No, so stop pretending that she doesnt love him because you have no right to make those sorts of claims.
Cheating is wrong. Regardless of how long they have been together, regardless of how much you love him....it is WRONG. So dont do it!! Dont be a part of this, if he loved you he would be with you, so stop lowering yourself to this level. He is using you for sex, and he has his girlfriend to go back to when he has had enough sex from you. Dont allow yourself to be treated like this, you can do better.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2012): He is in a relationship, meaning it really really really is an affair. If he got back together with this chick while just before he was flirting and sleeping with you, garantee he sees more in her and is using you for sexual needs, just being honest, sorry to tell ya.
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