A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:Last Night I saw my boyfriends roommate leave with his girlfriend and I could not figure out where they went it's none of my business of course, but they just vanished and when I woke up this morning I saw a bag and a few blankets and a bottle of wine and figured it out; he took his girlfriend on a midnight picknic and I almost cried at how sweet that is that he would think of an idea like that for his gf and treat her so romantically. So I am stuck here wondering why is my boyfriend not like that and why does he not do stuff like that we have only been together for a year and he has never though of anything romantic and simple like that, how can I suggest the idea to my boyfriend and still have him do something like that as a surprise? My relationship is okay, but I feel 1 year together is still fairly new and we should still care to do things like that especially since we never have. He never comes up with random ideas I am the planner always. I would like to step back, but I just don't know if he would ever do anything if it was up to him the only thing that crosses his mind most times is when is he gonna play the next video game.
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female
reader, katiekate +, writes (31 March 2012):
 I understand where you're coming from. My boyfriend (or any boyfriend I've ever had, for that matter) is not romantic like you described. The majority of my friends would agree, as their husbands and boyfriends don't do the type of stuff you see in chick flicks. I believe that romantic men are the vast minority; I would not question my entire relationship simply because there is improvement needed in the romance department.
And to be honest, some of the romantic stuff I've seen people I know talk about and post pictures of on facebook is pretty obnoxious. Like just the other day, this girl posted a picture of a card her new fiance gave to her- the envelope said: "Happy Engagement Day, baby!" (gag) and was accompanied with a huge bouquet of flowers and a framed picture of two penguins (since they say penguins mate for life or whatever). But then again, maybe I'm just used to not having much romance...I don't know. I don't think suggesting these things to your boyfriend will make you feel better though... the entire point of a man being romantic like that is that it's HIS decision and HE surprised YOU. I would feel my boyfriend's gestures would not be genuine if I poked and prodded him into doing it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): Unfortunately the type of man you want usualy end up getting cheated on and then get classed as predictable and boring. Good as a freind but not as a partner.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 March 2012):
 Romantic men are a rare find. Guys just aren't that creative or sometimes thoughtful. They could take notes from love films.
Let's get real here, if you want your boyfriend to be more romantic then you need to ask him if he's capable of some creative, romantic evenings. Give him some ideas and see of he acts upon it. If not, then give it a rest...it's not going to happen.
Also, if he's falling short in the romance department then perhaps you need to dump him and find what you're looking for. But you're going to be looking long and hard. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): Suggest something to him then. Why are you with him if he doesnt fit into your expectation? Instead of complaining why not find a different guy who can mind read?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 March 2012):
 It doesn't have to be the guy who is always romantic, if you want to go for midnight picnics or walks in the rain or anything like that, make it happen. Not all guys are romantic cheeseballs, and that's OK and doesn't make him a bad boyfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): I am afraid he's simply not the romantic, thoughtful type. I, too have a girlfriend with a really great guy. He frequently surprises her with gifts, he will pop in a recorded CD where he expresses his feelings to her, he writes notes, he takes her out to random surprise locations, he even had one of his poet friends reciting a Greek poem to her in public. He does ALL these things on his own. She never has to ask him for any of it because he IS a generous, romantic man that likes to make his lady feel special. They have been together for 5 years and he still keeps up with this.
It's in his character to do these things. I have an uncle and cousins who are like this as well. A lot of men sadly don't fall into this camp. Much like you, I have to tell my man what he needs to do to make me feel special. He will never be as thoughtful and as romantic as my girlfriend's boyfriend, I have come to accept that. But at least if you tell him what you need, you'll get something. Something is better than nothing.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 March 2012):
 What CaringGuy said.
Boyfriends are not made to order... they are people... and what you want is clearly not your current boyfriend's style...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 March 2012):
The reason that your boyfriend hasn't/doesn't do it, is because he's a different guy.
Frequently, I think some women seem to think that men are in some way made to order, or that we can mind read. We can't. You don't that this other guy actually treated her - perhaps she suggested it to him, or perhaps they both came up with this idea.
If you want your boyfriend to do things like that, then tell him. It's no use hinting to him or hoping he'll notice, because he'll probably wind up confused, then doing it wrong, upon which you'll be disappointed.
Also, if you do feel this way, then perhaps you have to ask whether your boyfriend is even right for you. You can't make him into something he's not, and if you're looking for this treatment, or looking to step back, maybe your boyfriend isn't the one for you and you need a different type of guy.
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