A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello aunt and uncles this isn't a relationship question but I really feel so alone and haven't found anyone to help me with this. I hate food it makes me feel sick and I always feel disgusted after I have eaten. I feel so down and repulsed. The feeling of food in my stomach makes me ill. I have spoken to my doctor about it but as I do eat and am a healthy weight (5foot 9 and just under 8 stone) they have just stated this is a normal feeling and I will get over it. I have looked online but all I see is things about eating disorders. I don't want to lose weight I just never want to eat. Sometimes I just sit and cry for hours after eating its ruining my life. I have to sit all day thinking about the next time I have to eat and it frustrates me so much. I do have a councellor who says I just have to push past the thought and do it but I just can't. I know you guys are not doctors I just need to know I am not the only person who feels this way? Anyone any advice at all would be greatly appreciated I just wish I could go for a meal with friends or my boyfriend and not feel this dreadful feeling in my gut that the food will be there. Sometimes I just want to be sick and get it out but I will never do that I know its not healthy but I can't deal with this much longer.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): I experienced this feeling for over a decade. After years of that feeling and many other symptoms, I was finally diagnosed with celiac disease. Whenever i consumed food containing wheat (barley and rye set it off to a lesser extent), my immune system would attack the villi in my small intestine.
Many medical conditions can cause a visceral feeling of sickness which can have psychological implications (feelings of guilt or disgust for having eaten) that are not necessarily related to your body image. Basically, you feel disgusted for eating because it makes you feel sick, not because you feel the food will make you fat (the latter is IS a probable sign of an eating disorder).
There are many things that can cause you to feel ill after eating. Try eating many small meals instead of larger ones. Eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, limit or eliminate processed foods, fast food, and soda.
Some people feel sick after taking certain medications, or if they have milk products (lactose intolerance) or sugar-free gum.
Does drinking only plain water on an empty stomach make you feel ill as
well? If so, you may want to tell your doctor.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 April 2012):
 Person12345 is right - you need a new counsellor. Ideally one that specialises in phobias/anxiety. Or a counsellor who specialises in CBT would also work (cognitive behavioural therapy). Your current counsellor sounds very unhelpful and is not treating your problems correctly. Someone with a disorder like you cannot simply 'push past it' - you need to re-train your brain before you can push past the feeling, and you need help from a professional to do that.
What you are feeling is common, I'm not using the word 'normal' because it isnt normal, it shouldnt be happening because it is affecting your quality of life.
If I'm honest though it does sound like you have an eating disorder - and before you dimiss that there are more eating disorders than just anorexia or bullimia. Eating disorders basically cover anyone who has problems with food and eating, which you do. Perhaps you can see another doctor and explain that it is really affecting your life and you want to be referred to an eating disorder specialist. Just because you do eat does not mean your mental health isnt at risk, and I do think you are suffering so keep going back to the doctors and pestering them until you get what you want.
Lets try and go into a bit more detail about how you feel. I am going to pick out some key things you have said in your post, if you could elaborate further on them I might be able to help further.
1. "I feel disgusted after I have eated" - what makes you feel disgusted? The taste of the food? Do you feel like you have eaten too much and you feel disgusted with yourself for being greedy? Or are you disgusted with the idea that the food is going to make you put on weight?
2. "I feel so down and repulsed" - what makes you feel repulsed? Again is it your lack of control when eating? Or repulsed with eating too much? Or repulsed with your body because you know eating makes you put on weight?
3. You are actually pretty severly underweight - if you calculate your BMI it is around 16/17 - you should be at least 9 stone at your height, your BMI should be between 18-25. Under 8 stone is not at all healthy for you - I'm not a big believer in BMI to be honest as it doesnt take into consideration muscle mass etc, but for anyone your height under 8 stone is underweight. If your doctor has told you that you're a healthy weight, you need to change doctors!
4. Why do you say you 'have' to think about eating all day? What is forcing you to think about food? Do you obsess about the type of food you are eating next? Or is it just any food in general?
5. Why do you think it is best to 'get the food out'? What is the thought process at the time when you think about being sick to get it out? Why is it bad to have the food in your stomach?
Just a couple more questions - do you feel sick with any type of food? Or are there certain foods worse than others? When did this feeling start? If it started at a certain time in your life, did anything around that time trigger this feeling? Who cooks your food?
If you could answer these questions I hopefully might be able to give you a bit more advice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): Great idea to eat with your loved ones or friends! Maybe you'll forget the feeling of being sick of eating because your enjoying their company. Do things that will make you feel better.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 Here is a website that may help:
http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/eating.asp
Also a forum that could be helpful:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/eating-problems-and-phobias-117060/
I'm so sorry you're going through this, I work with a lot of people with severe phobias and I know how debilitating it is. Phobias stem from anxiety disorders so when you treat a phobia, what you are really doing is learning to treat anxiety in general. You are not the only person who feels this way, I promise you. Phobias are actually much more common than some people realize.
The first thing you need to do is find a new counselor. Your counselor will be working with you to overcome obstacles, not pushing you to overcome them alone. If you don't feel supported and encouraged with your current counselor, find a new one. It's not a matter of being nice or meaning well, I'm sure your current counselor does mean well. But the right counselor will make you feel good moving at your own pace and make you feel great about the progress you make. If you don't feel like you are making progress with your current counselor, you need to switch. You won't hurt her/his feelings, they know how this works and it's a professional relationship.
Some psychologists will recommend getting an as needed medication for panic attacks, some do not endorse this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): Hello my dear, i was really at a loss when i read your post but i then remembered something that i hope will help to reasssure you a little.
My mums work colleague had a phobia of feeling full! Now i dont know this lady personally but i do know that like you she would dread every meal and hated eating because it controlled her. She managed to solve her problem with a combination of a nutritionist, a councilor and a hypnotist! If you have never tried hypnotherapy then it may be worth a try.
Your not alone hunny, but i cant even begin to understand how hard it must be to dread ever meal. Maybe you should try eating lighter foods that dont bloat you up, also maybe learning about food nutrition nd how it helps your body ect may be the start to building a healthier attitude toward food and eating. And finally always talk about your feelings bottling them up will only help your anxiety to build. I am sorry i cant help much but i wish you the best of luck with this. X
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