A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am just asking this question out of curiousity. It is for both men and women. How do you feel about men having strippers at a bachelor's party? Maybe it is because I have low self-esteem but if my fiance was enjoying that kind of show, I would feel somehow wronged and betrayed. I would never want my man admiring another woman's body without feel jealous and disgusted. It wouldn't matter to me whether something happened or not even though something happening would be worse. So men - do you feel ok staring at these women while your fiancee is at home? Women - Would you be okay with your man doing this?
View related questions:
fiance, jealous, stripper Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gokmen.B  +, writes (3 May 2012):
To me its wrong, I wouldn't want my fiance to have strippers but I get very jelouse. I understand if it would upset your wife to be but don' take it the wrong way she probably concerned and I can understand completely. I guess you also have to think about it for her point of veiw if she did the same what would you say?
A
female
reader, jadeybaby  +, writes (1 May 2012):
 Personally, I think it's wrong.
I don't like it, however I am quite a natually jealous and suspicous person. Why would your future husband want to look at half naked women dance when he has you at home?
I find it insulting to women as it comes across that men only see women as sexual creatures and 'things' that need to be admired.
However, I hate lads mags or anything of that nature.
Because ultimately I am jealous I don't look like that girl, I worry my partner would want them more than they would want me, it's disrespectful towards women and it shows men as complete perverts. I mean yeah, we all look at an attractive person. But when do you ever see strip clubs aimed at women? They're usually 'gentlemens' clubs.
What kind of gentlemen goes in them honestly?
Anyway, my opinion most will probably disagree.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012): Ug, sorry, but male behavior and magazines with perfect naked women in them are the very cause for low self esteem in a lot of young girls. If he has a problem ogeling already, he will probably always do it, whether they are naked or not.
No I would not be happy..and yes, it would bother me.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Strippers at bachelor parties is stupid. It pisses off the wife/G/F/S-O of almost every guy who attends. WHY do it? WHAT does it accomplish????? The "answer" - for any of you who are not familiar with the answer - is that it is considered a "right of passage" for the young man who is about to wed..... The "facts" are that it's a childish play-act and serves to real purpose in life....
Why not just get in to a high-powered automobile and drive it in to a solid bridge abutment?????
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 April 2012):
 I've been to parties with strippers... NBD in my opinion.
I don't much care where my man gets his appetite as long as he eats at home...
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 April 2012):
 First off, aren't you a little young to be worried about this?
Second, nope, definitely not. I don't care if it's his bachelor party or someone else's, my boyfriend and I have a no strippers or strip clubs agreement. The whole thing is very degrading and dehumanizing. Women are not scenery, even though media presents us/them as such frequently. Many of the strippers have to be drunk or on drugs to cope with it. The whole idea is incredibly misogynistic and perpetuates the idea that women exist for men's viewing pleasure. I would never be OK with my boyfriend treating women like that.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2012): "I would never want my man admiring another woman's body without feel jealous and disgusted."
You're in for a long hard life then OP because no guy stops admiring other women's bodies just as no woman is immune to admiring the bodies of other guys. Some people just have great bodies and we don't become blind just because we're in a relationship.
"How do you feel about men having strippers at a bachelor's party?"
I think it's tacky to be honest and I wouldn't have one at mine but I've been to a few where there were some and have been to plenty of strip clubs, some of those with my girlfriend. It's just a show OP, there is very little to be sexually excited by when watching a stripper with a load of other guys.
Pinktopaz has completely the wrong idea about it, she says for women it's just about it being "funny" well the same applies to us guys. We don't exactly stand there wanking off while looking at them like. It's hilarious to see a guy who's getting married soon squirm with embarrassment as a stripper tries to tease him in front of all his friends taking pictures etc. There is no sexual pleasure in that at all.
OP what's the difference between seeing a stripper or being at a beach surrounded by topless women or women in bikinis so small there is literally nothing left to the imagination? What's the difference between a stripper and being at a club where women are wearing mini-skirts, hot pants, see-through tops or dresses so tight that you can see everything?
What's the difference between watching a stripper or watching a music video? Music videos are far more racy than any stripper ever could be.
Look the only time a stripper is ever sexually exciting is when you get a private dance. It's as simple as that. We guys and most girls too will always admire a great body on another person. Whether that's a guy at the beach who is ripped or a girl with a great figure wearing revealing clothes. You have nothing to feel insecure about but you're own insecurities OP. No guy will ever be your boyfriend and compare you neagtaively with other women, we just don't do that. If a guy loves you enough to become your fiancé that means he sees you as a woman so beautiful he wants to keep you forever and no other woman will ever be as beautiful to him, that's how it works with us. It's you women who put those crazy ideas into your own heads that somehow we see a woman with bigger tits, or no cellulite and think we'd rather have her. But that's not reality. I mean if you had a boyfriend you loved, thought was really sexy but he was but chubby, would you really look at other guys with 6 packs and think they're better than your boyfriend? No, because he wouldn't be your boyfriend if you didn't think he was gorgeous. What makes you think we're so different to women? Women statistically cheat way more than men do, they find it easier to cheat and they find it easier to justify cheating too, studies have shown that.
Besides your experience of men is guys your age and they'd bone anything with a pulse, they're not a good indication of what we're like at all.
So remember a stripper at a bachelor party is more to do with embarrassing the bridegroom by throwing a naked woman in his face that he can't touch than it is about sexual excitement because there's nothing really that sexy about the situation at all. Plus OP wait until you go to clubs and see how drunken women dance, if you think strippers are a threat wait until you women wearing practically nothing grinding random guys on the dancefloor or dancing on tables in short skirts.
...............................
A
male
reader, tottenhamhotspur  +, writes (28 April 2012):
For me personally, I think the idea of watching a strippers is sort of gross, cheesy and cheap. It is not a turn on to me at all.
If my girlfriend was not comfortable with me going to the strippers- I don't go. I don't care if it is just for my friend and I am not looking or interested. We respect one another and we don't want to cross those boundries.
I only want to see one naked woman- despite the fact that my eyes still work and I still realize other women are attractive, I certainly don't need to go to the strippers. particularly if my girlfriend didn't like the idea of it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2012): How do I feel about men having strippers at a bachelor party? Puzzled, basically. I`m not sure why an impending marriage means they have to stare at half naked/naked women, paid to perform for them. If marriage meant a guy never being able to look upon any other naked woman for the rest of his life, well, maybe I could sort of understand that he might want just one last glimpse at other women before he tied the knot. But half naked women are everywhere these days, so I dont really get the need to pay to ogle them just before getting married. It doesnt sound right to me somehow...finding the love of your life, wanting to marry her, setting the date and then having to take all your friends with you, while you gawp at naked women. How did that `tradition` come about?! Because its not very classy and can cause all sorts of upset. I simply dont understand why watching strippers has become a prerequisite to marriage. Having said that, many women go out to venues to ogle naked men too. So its a two way thing. I am just as puzzled by that to be honest. If my partner wanted to have a night out with strippers, I would be disappointed with him but it would not affect my confidence just my opinion of him. I have noticed recently though that while the older guys are still entrenched in the stripper `tradition`. Younger guys are steering more towards activity days out instead of the boozy, stripper celebrations favored by the oldies. My son in law is really looking forward to a guys day which is being planned by a pal of his to celebrate his coming marriage. It is very competitive. They are clay shooting in the morning and having an off road, vehicle race in the afternoon. He cant wait to go! And there`s not a beer or stripper in sight. So I think younger guys are starting to get with the program and understand that naked women dont HAVE to figure in stag celebrations.
...............................
A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 I don't particularly like the idea, but just the same I don't think I'd really worry about the stripper. As strange as it sounds, some men I know say the stripper at a bachelor party is more of a tradition than an opportunity. She may have been hired by some of his friends for a joke or whatever.
I am more concerned that you have issues with your self-esteem. You are very young and the number of young women with these kind of issues are legion. Moreover, these issues won't just evaporate when you are married. They may seem like they are triggered by how you look or what your future husband is doing, but that is just the surface. It is really about how you value yourself from within yourself.
Don't forget how lucky you are. Your man has chosen you. I think you shouldn't really need to feel jealous about the stripper.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 April 2012):
I've been to a bachelor party with strippers. I was one of two girls there and really, it is kind of gross. It's a lapdance free for all...I didn't see anything "wrong" happen, but I'm sure in some instances they go too far.
As far as being "okay" with it. I wouldn't be happy about it, but I'd be okay with it.
Have your own bachelorette party and have male strippers. In my opinion, male strippers are way worse than female strippers and it would make any man insecure if they knew what the male strippers do. Lots of grabbing, groping, and dry humping. But, I think women think of it as more "funny" then actually getting sexually aroused by it.
...............................
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (28 April 2012):
 why do you need to stare at strippers if you have a beutiful soon to be wife at home...
personally i dont like being tempted or teased, i dont like having women or things that i cant have or arent mine thrown in my face.
whats the point.
...............................
|
