A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey! I'm getting married in few months... I'm uber excited of course, but I wonder what difference does it make if two people are married or just live together? We're not religious or anything, but when my bf proposed I of course said yes... it was an irrational yes coming straight from my heart! Yet, I wonder, does love need that piece of paper? Does marriage only make it harder to separate if things go wrong? I've lived with a guy before and when we broke up he was out of my house in no time, but with marriage it's a lot more complicated than that. I still wanna marry my beloved bf, it's just that I've been thinking a lot lately about the meaning of marriage. Have your relationships changed since you've been married? How? What are your views on the matter?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 My father has lived with his GF for nearly 16 years... they met shortly after my mother died... he won't marry her but they own property together and I refer to her as my stepmother... they did not get married for several reasons one of which was the financial mess they would have...
I on the other hand am getting Married yet again in October... my fiance says it's due to taxes and insurance (and I can't put him on my insurance till we are married) but I think it's more about when you find the right person you want that "tie that binds"
at this point we have all our funds co-mingled already... the only thing that is changing is HIS last name (yep he's taking MINE) the rest will stay the same for us...
also right now if something happens to me..he has NO say in it... he has no rights to inheritance. We would have to go to the attorney and draw up legal papers for everything... no sense in spending thousands of dollars to do that when one little marriage certificate fixes all of that.
A
female
reader, Latti +, writes (25 April 2012):
In my opinion, Marriage should be the ulitmate expression of love AND committement to one another AND in making that committement, it comes with certain benefits. Yes, part of the reason to marry is to discourage seperation. To make people think a few times before you throw your hands up when things are not going well. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness AND in health. It is suppose to be for the long hall. Marriage is a journey AND it comes with many highs AND many lows AND people can say what they want, but to me, the benefits AND security of marriage has far more value AND respect than playing house.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): I would not just move in together simply because where I live if you live together with your partner and you are in a steady relationship (let's say years, as some people live together for many years without being married) when you guys separate your partner can claim half of your assets, there are even cases when for instance a woman has a child and goes to live with her partner, who's the child's step-father, when they break up she can ask him for child support claiming emotional ties because while they were together the child called him dad and considered him so... you see I'd much rather get a pre-nup and get married so it's established before hand what is mine and what is his. I have no idea how things work in your country, but if you have doubts put off the wedding for a little while, but from what I see a divorce is much more troublesome than a break-up
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (25 April 2012):
Feelings wise, probably not all that much save security of the official committement.
Fianancially, they couldnt be more different. Night and day. If you are getting married, you need to consider the business/financial aspect of it, because the implications are huge.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 April 2012):
 No I don't think that paper is necessary in a romantic sense. To me marriage is just so the government can recognize you are together and give you the financial benefits of a shared household and legal grounds in medical issues.
"Does marriage only make it harder to separate if things go wrong?"
Yes, MUCH. If you are having doubts, don't put a ring on it yet!
I personally plan to get married, I mostly just want the wedding presents, an excuse for a vacation, and the tax benefits. :)
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