A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:The Rules: do you ladies out there follow them? And men- does it work? Do you like a lady better of she ignores you until you call?I'm asking because I'm such an open book and I think I make it too easy for guys by being easy going and not playing games. Should I start? I have a boyfriend of 5 months and I'm sort of noticing that I'm always initiate things. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 I hate it when girls make a guy chase, I am so bad at reading signals from girls and it doesn't help that I'm not confident with them, I wish girls would be more inclined to initiate contact and not always leave it up to the guy!
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Symptom vs disease.
Some girls are so eager (spelled desperate) for a relationship that they dive in head first with the first guy that will give them the time of day. Often this guy tends to be a user.
Some girls then think that it is because they give to much that this guy is so ungiving. Nope, that is the way he has always been and will always be. Just that less needy women know to avoid them.
"The rules" are then attempted to fix a relationship that was already doomed from the start.
Giving your all in a relationship is not a bad thing but it got to be with a person who wants to be with you. Not just use you because you are available and easy to please.
If you got to start playing games to "keep" him, then does that mean you will have to play games for the rest of your life? Why not wait for someone who you do not have to play games with?
Of course, that might mean spending a whole week single... a scary thought indeed. For some girls. But you are not like that... right?
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A
male
reader, Aurora Borealis  +, writes (24 May 2011):
LOVE the rules - they rule! basic line is this: be yourself, dont be a doormat and treat him with respect, be alert for signs that he is Mr. Wrong instead of Mr. Right... the right man is someone who love, respect and adore you for who you truly are... and you, yourself, have to do the groundwork on yourself before anything significant can happen... nobody can "save" you but yourself! can be read with "He is just not that into you"
good luck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 May 2011):
 never followed a rule and men dog after me hon.i read the book on the rules and I laughed. Please.I'm an open book... so is my man... if i don't tell him I love him and initiate physical contact he thinks i'm mad.now i do dress up for him 99% of the time. I do work out and keep my health and fitness levels up... and I do worry about how I dress and look.... but other than that... NOPE NO RULES HERE...
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (24 May 2011):
If you feel you are making all the effort in the relationship, sit down and tell him how you feel. Give him the opportunity to change things. Don't resort to playing mind games.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 "The rules" has done more harm than good for both girls and guys worldwide... and yes, I have read it... its hilarious in its counter-productiveness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): I've never followed a rule, when dating in my life (granted it's been a while since I have dated) Why would you want to? It's about feelings do what feels right.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 No one should be playing games. I never read "the rules", but my love life would certainly not get improved by a book. Those relationship books are for fun and entertainment, or perhaps for understanding one another a little better (if men and women could be stereotyped). But you can't walk around trying to manipulate others.
Be straight forward and honest, and expect the same in return. That is what will make the world go around, not playing charades and games. You yourself determine what sort of relationship you want, and if you live by your own rules, you will find someone who works by the same rules of conduct in a relationship. That's when it works!
If you always initiate things, and wonder if that is a problem in the relationship, ask him about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): Dump the Rule Book and just be your self. Guys will thank you for it. I started dating again after a 23 year marriage and didn't have a clue that there were any rules. I was honest and forthright and didn't take any rubbish from guys. I dated 2 and had to give them the 'bums rush' but I 'clicked' with the 3rd and we are still together after a few years. If i am not happy about something i tell him in a nice way and he does the same to me. Life is too short to mess about playing games and most guys don't 'get' the whole game thing anyway! If your guy isn't interested enough to make any moves, you could tell him you are disappointed in his apparent lack of enthusiasm. And warn him if things don't improve soon, you will take it he's not that interested and leave him in peace. Unless you tell him how you feel he wont know or be able to fix it. If he wants to be with you, he will fix things. If he doesn't want to be with you, he will ignore what you are saying. If that happens then i wouldn't waste any more time on him.
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