| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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Girlfriend is always asking me to striptease on webcam, then gets mad when I give her what she wants.
Q. Hello. I'm very concerned about my girlfriend. She frequently asks for me to do a striptease for her on webcam on MSN. Yet, when I do, or I'm in the middle of the process, there's a change of heart, she panics, and gets angry. She then yells at me...
A. 2 September 2013: Hold on,
Are you telling us that in a full year this game has not changed? I would strongly suggest that if she has not initiated something intimate in 380 days that she is not going to now. I would also suggest that if you haven't figured ... (read in full...)
Should I ask to join him at his friend's birthday party?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and I love him a lot and I trust him. However, the other day he got invited to a guy friends birthday event in a bar and it came up on my newsfeed. I don't know the guy or anyone else on the invite list ...
A. 21 August 2012: "Fatherly Advice~ What makes you think that i wouldn't have fun?"
Your description of the last party led me to believe that.
"Last time he went out on an event like this, I couldn't relax and he ended up talking to a girl most of the time... (read in full...)
Feeling single in this relationship
Q. Ok, here's my problem. My girlfriend and I started dating back in November of 2011, and we were great. She was always happy around me, any time we had together she seemed to love, and always wanted to spend more time always told me she missed me. B...
A. 21 August 2012: This relationship is way too young for this problem. I believe there is something more. Her statement that she just feels numb is a strong indicator of a health issue. She may be depressed.
The #1 thing that you don't do with depressed people i... (read in full...)
Should I ask to join him at his friend's birthday party?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and I love him a lot and I trust him. However, the other day he got invited to a guy friends birthday event in a bar and it came up on my newsfeed. I don't know the guy or anyone else on the invite list ...
A. 21 August 2012: I trust him, but I'm jealous.
Why not use this as an opportunity to strengthen your trust. Let him go, alone, you stay home. He can promise to be good and tell you everything that happens.
I have two reasons for this suggestion. Fir... (read in full...)
How can I spice up my sex life?
Q. I would like to spice up our sex life but I don't know exactly how to do it its not like I can go to my mom for advise so I always see very helpful people on the site I'm willing to go to the ends of earth to make my man happy,should I buy toys or ...
A. 21 August 2012: O K I found the official quote:"
Evelyn: Ed... If I'd answered the door wearing only cellophane, would you still be watching the baseball game?
Ed: No, honey, I'd probably be checking you into a loony bin.
FA... (read in full...)
How can I spice up my sex life?
Q. I would like to spice up our sex life but I don't know exactly how to do it its not like I can go to my mom for advise so I always see very helpful people on the site I'm willing to go to the ends of earth to make my man happy,should I buy toys or ...
A. 21 August 2012: Chane,
Think communication. You two need to decide together what you would like to try. I'm not saying that surprise is a bad idea, it worked well in my relationship. My wife surprised me with lingerie early on in our marriage. On the other ha... (read in full...)
After ten years of marriage, I find out my husband has had an affair.
Q. I am writing because I need advice. After 10 years of marriage and two kids of ages 8 and 2, I found recently that my husband was having an affair. I kicked him out of the house but now I want him back. My husband now blames me for our split and ...
A. 21 August 2012: Cheaters are not normal people. They don't think right. The first thing you need to know is that he is seeing the world inaccurately. So don't believe his accusations. Also don't trust his ideas about moving back in. When you say you want him... (read in full...)
My friend wants me to have a threesome with him and his brother.
Q. Um...my friend(who I really like) wants to try and have a threesome with him, me, and his brother. I agreed but now nervous. I really like him but I don't want him to think I'm just the type whose up from anything. He told me, he wouldn't mind going ...
A. 21 August 2012: No,
Not a good idea.
For way to many reasons.
I'm very sorry that you agreed to it but just back out.
You have nothing to lose here.
FA... (read in full...)
Does he love me as much as he says he does? Am I his only one or am I just another one???
Q. HELP!!!! I get alot of attention from boys at school and most of them are in my form but usually I ignore it and just think of them as my close friends I have a really good looking boyfriend in another form and some of his friends have told me i'm '...
A. 20 August 2012: Let me gaze into the crystal ball called experience. I see your future. He will leave you. You will be heartbroken. You will get over it. I can't tell how long that will take. Shorter is better. You will find someone else. Probably several ... (read in full...)
My mother has a problem with me being two months older then my boyfriend.
Q. And so dear cupid,my relationship has started going very well.but my new problem is that I'm two months older than my boyfrnd.we so into each other.but my sisters and my mum seem to have a problem with it.what do I do.I'm so into him.leaving him ...
A. 20 August 2012: My analytical side wants to ask, how could 2 months be a big deal?
Last year my Jr high son met a girl who was one class ahead of him. I was pretty sure it would fizzle because she would be in high school while he was still in Jr high. It did.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is always asking me to striptease on webcam, then gets mad when I give her what she wants.
Q. Hello. I'm very concerned about my girlfriend. She frequently asks for me to do a striptease for her on webcam on MSN. Yet, when I do, or I'm in the middle of the process, there's a change of heart, she panics, and gets angry. She then yells at me...
A. 20 August 2012: you are 22-25 years old by now you should know how to handle a tease. You make her make commitments before you give her what she wants. For example: You meet me, then I will show. You give, then I give. You promise not to yell or I won't. and ... (read in full...)
Should I just stay single for life? Or am I getting way too anxious about how I will be when I finally find myself in a relationship?
Q. I don't think I am ready for a relationship right now. However, I think that when I feel I am ready it will be too late to start learning and no one will be patient enough to teach me unless they are trying to use me. When the time comes should I ...
A. 20 August 2012: I know someone in your age group who is also unready to date. She is quite immature and because of that has trouble facing and handling dating decisions. She does have the good sense that many of her contemporaries don't have to know when she is ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope that I will ever have a relationship when I have nothing to offer girls?
Q. I don't think I have anything to offer girls because I'm not rich, good-looking or the party type. I only have my time and my heart but it doesn't seem to be enough in this world. I don't believe in casual sex or using people and this alienate...
A. 20 August 2012: Looks like to me you are making a lot of excuses up so you won't have to be responsible for your failings. There are people who want what you have to offer. First work on your self.
FA... (read in full...)
Is it likely that he's really cheating? Or just boasting? If true, then I feel as though I'm not attractive enough for him
Q. My partner recently put password locks on his mobile phones, I was suspicious and managed to get into his phone and found he's frequently sending txts to his mate about all the hot women he's seeing while making deliveries. Plus how he's going to ...
A. 20 August 2012: The sudden change of behavior is the most worrisome thing. Nothing rings true about this. One day he just starts fooling around at work. Or one day he just needs to text his exploits to his mate. I would think it would build up slowly.
The o... (read in full...)
Should I just stay single for life? Or am I getting way too anxious about how I will be when I finally find myself in a relationship?
Q. I don't think I am ready for a relationship right now. However, I think that when I feel I am ready it will be too late to start learning and no one will be patient enough to teach me unless they are trying to use me. When the time comes should I ...
A. 20 August 2012: You are way too young to give up. Just because you are not ready for a relationship does not mean you can not learn now. Relationships are made of trust and communication. Those you can practice now. Learn to be an active listener. Learn how to ... (read in full...)
Serious crush. So how can I manage these feelings every time I am around her?
Q. alright, long question here: ok so about 2 years ago i had told this girl whom i had been really good friends with for about 2 years (prior to that) that i liked her as more than a friend. She was super cool about it but she told me that she like...
A. 20 August 2012: I guess you just like pain, and loneliness. You are ready to give up the possibility of real happiness for yourself in order to maintain this friendship. This friendship that is really just a farce of you hanging on desperate for the table scraps ... (read in full...)
He's my ex. I accidentally saw him out wearing the shirt I gave him. But he ignored me. Why would he wear THAT shirt?
Q. okay so i havent seen my ex since his birthday last month, where i gave him a shirt. we've only spoken a couple of times since then and they were not pleasant conversations. he started dating his ex before me and i moved on. ive never felt so reli...
A. 20 August 2012: Dear CheerWhore23 16-17 years old,
Well I thought I was ready to answer this question until I typed out your user name. Now I'm the one reading to much into things.
I'm guessing the ex is 18 or younger. Based on that he is not only a guy, ... (read in full...)
Preferably guys' opinions- Friendship between guys and girls, What do you think?
Q. I know a lot of experts on dearcupid.org think men normally don't befriend girls unless they want something more from the girls - either sex or romance. So what do you guys think about this?Do you agree that a lot of the time, guys and girls b...
A. 19 August 2012: 31 answers and counting, and yet here I am compelled to write again.
There are some troubles here. One our premise is taken from a line in a movie delivered by a comedian. The line was written to get a laugh. It was delivered to get a laugh.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is always asking me to striptease on webcam, then gets mad when I give her what she wants.
Q. Hello. I'm very concerned about my girlfriend. She frequently asks for me to do a striptease for her on webcam on MSN. Yet, when I do, or I'm in the middle of the process, there's a change of heart, she panics, and gets angry. She then yells at me...
A. 19 August 2012: Resist. Make her work for it. Make up an excuse why you can't do it right now.
FA
... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is always asking me to striptease on webcam, then gets mad when I give her what she wants.
Q. Hello. I'm very concerned about my girlfriend. She frequently asks for me to do a striptease for her on webcam on MSN. Yet, when I do, or I'm in the middle of the process, there's a change of heart, she panics, and gets angry. She then yells at me...
A. 19 August 2012: I tend to agree with the immature angle on this. I think to her it is a game. I also think she enjoys teasing you. I think you should play harder to get. Don't let her win so often.
FA... (read in full...)
I caught my wife in the bathtub with my brother! What do I do now?
Q. Dear friends, I am hoping to find a way on how to handle a situation. Me and wife (23) are married for 3 years now and for the last 2 years my youngest brother stays with us for study. He and my wife are close in their age. He is just 19 months l...
A. 18 August 2012: Sunilal,
I know that I am speaking from outside your culture, so what I am saying may not make sense to you. Much of your situation does not make sense to me. I'm just trying to answer your question, as well as I can.
Your main question is... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is always asking me to striptease on webcam, then gets mad when I give her what she wants.
Q. Hello. I'm very concerned about my girlfriend. She frequently asks for me to do a striptease for her on webcam on MSN. Yet, when I do, or I'm in the middle of the process, there's a change of heart, she panics, and gets angry. She then yells at me...
A. 18 August 2012: Interesting question. I'd like to hold off answering until I have more information.
Is this an online only relationship? Long Distance?
How is the relationship working out for you?
Thanks in advance.
FA... (read in full...)
I'm not good enough to marry?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been dating a man for over 2 years. I own my home and he still has a mortgage and a teenager who he has half the time. He asked me to move in with him, but doesn't want to marry me. Even though I'm in my 50's, I still wo...
A. 18 August 2012: Two things strike me about you question. Yes the high school question is very important. It won't be important in 4 years or less.
The bit about living in her house is so common that he should understand, more likely he is just being a guy (guy... (read in full...)
Help I'm afraid my man is too kinky for me!
Q. So let me begin by saying, that I am a very open minded and sexually liberated person, and I'm usually the one causing others to blush. The guy I am seeing now however... So I have begun dating this guy I met online, no where in his profile does...
A. 18 August 2012: You can't eat Steak every meal. Most days you just have Cheese burgers. Right now he is like a kid in a candy store. He thinks he really can handle eating everything he sees.
#1 Safe words. Write them down and hand them to him before you star... (read in full...)
His habits drive me nuts, all day, every day!
Q. It migt sound silly for most people, but two of my husbands habits drive me nuts every single day, even every hour. He has plenty of others but they are not as annoying as these.we have fights about it almost every day. It irritates him when I p...
A. 17 August 2012: So, what is the real problem?
There must be something else. You have taken two annoyances and worked them up to grounds for divorce and horse whipping. So what is the real reason you want to be free of him?
You probably think I am not t... (read in full...)
Is she being selfish and inconsiderate, or am I the jerk for feeling this way?
Q. My Gf of about 6 months is starting to get on my nerves..im so tired the relationship is like a full time job with no day off... i do whatever she ask from babysiting her young child to taking her to work and other places she needs to go.Movi...
A. 17 August 2012: Dear Original poster,
This is a relationship problem but you are looking at it as a money problem. I think that is because you are better equipped to deal with money problems. There is a money problem involved but it is only part of the ques... (read in full...)
How do I reason with a controlling boyfriend? Yes I have self esteem issues, but my Bf 's reactions have hurt me.
Q. I have the possibility to study abroad for 4 months. This represents a big opportunity to experience different things, help me get a diploma that will help me with my career and be fun/exciting in general. I really want to go, my mind is alre...
A. 16 August 2012: 4 months is Nothing. On the other hand, if after 3.5 years he feels he can't get by for .3 years, perhaps he should be talking to you about a more permanent relationship?
Separations are not necessarily a bad thing. They can serve to strength... (read in full...)
My parents are constantly criticizing me!!
Q. Dear Cupid, My parents are constantly criticizing me. My dad has been physically abusive in the past but now that has ceased and hes verbally abusive to me constantly. We don't always see eye to eye on style and my parents basically hate t...
A. 16 August 2012: There is an old rude joke about this. We don't need to go there.
The situation you describe is serious enough that you should take action. Abuse is a very good reason to sever family ties. Staying with a brother is just a temporary fix. Yo... (read in full...)
Should I stop birth control?
Q. I only started because of my boyfriend. We literally just broke up, so I feel like I don't have to anymore. Plus it had awful side effects such as hair loss (yikes!), pain in stomach, moodiness, and headaches. Should I just cut my losses and stop? ...
A. 16 August 2012: Really a medical question,
If you are having that much trouble with side effects you should have already talked to your doctor about changing brand or type of birth control. They can find one that will suit you. How you stop depends on what ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling uncomfortable with my boyfriend's reaction to what I wear.
Q. Hi guys So I'm feeling uncomfortable with my boyfriend's reaction to what I wear. I am a doctor and at work I wear scrubs. He came to see me at work the other day and then said he could see my bra (the strap was showing so I pulled my top back ...
A. 14 August 2012: From a guy's point of view.
Scrubs were invented to make it easy to change out quickly in an emergency. They are the epitome of utility. They are unisex, baggy, and functional. Nope I'm not going to get excited about a woman who wears scrubs. ... (read in full...)
Preferably guys' opinions- Friendship between guys and girls, What do you think?
Q. I know a lot of experts on dearcupid.org think men normally don't befriend girls unless they want something more from the girls - either sex or romance. So what do you guys think about this?Do you agree that a lot of the time, guys and girls b...
A. 14 August 2012: I thought further, And although this topic has plenty of answers I think I'll add a bit more.
I have had some online friendships with women who were in my danger zone. I didn't seem to have a problem with it. I have no problem working with wom... (read in full...)
Preferably guys' opinions- Friendship between guys and girls, What do you think?
Q. I know a lot of experts on dearcupid.org think men normally don't befriend girls unless they want something more from the girls - either sex or romance. So what do you guys think about this?Do you agree that a lot of the time, guys and girls b...
A. 14 August 2012: You asked for a man's opinion. This is how I see it. A friendly relationship with a Woman is so dangerous wit so many pitfalls and traps that I just won't try.
Having said that there are two exceptions in my life. One is women well over 60 ... (read in full...)
Why do men seem to prefer fellatio to intercourse?
Q. I would like to know one of two things. why do men get so much pleasure out of a blowjob and less out of sex? I also have a few fantasies. How to I communicate this to my boyfriend of five years? Will he think I'm weird if I want to try out som...
A. 13 August 2012: An interesting set of questions. Is it merely economics that makes us want something that is harder to get? Does one person resisting make the other desire it more? There are a lot of answers to your questions. Some are probably accurate but are ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be in love this young? Or am I just falling hard?
Q. I'm young, 15 to be exact, but there's this guy who is always on my mind. I've had feelings for him for maybe 4 months now, and I've never felt this way about anyone. He's cute, sweet, caring, so involved in his religion, though i'm not very ...
A. 13 August 2012: HeyBabe23,
You ask, "I think I'm in love with him. It's not a stupid crush, I know it. Is it possible to be in love when you're this young? Or am I just falling hard?"
We are missing a vital piece of information. What have you two been doing t... (read in full...)
In the five years we've been together, she's not ever given me so much as even a card, for birthday's, anniversary, or any other special occasion. Do I have a right to be upset?
Q. We've been together for 5 years now, and during those 5 years I've not recieved a thing from her - Not for birthdays, Xmas', Valentines or even Anniversaries. Now I'm a romantic and try not to be materialistic or superficial about anything, ...
A. 9 August 2012: "but let's face it, dearcupid actually have some sense"
Hey thanks for the complement!
What you need to look into is the 5 love languages. Your case seems to be classic. You say I love you by sending flowers and gifts. The amount of time a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sloppy, controlling, rough and forceful sometimes. Would that be the reason I have lost all desire for sex with him?
Q. I'm 18 and been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year. The problem is I have lost my desire to have sex with him or any overall need to be intimate. My boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity to each other a month ago and ev...
A. 9 August 2012: You are young and this is all new to both of you. Yes the things you have mentioned are worrisome as has been said. In fact I'm not going to disagree with any thing that has been posted.
I do have something to add. Intimacy is intimacy... (read in full...)
Am I mean? Should I share more of my money with my girlfriend?
Q. I am 32, my girlfriend of four years is 27. I have a degree and believe in hard work and applying myself to achieve my goals and live well. My gf is not financially motivated and does not want to progress at work, she just wants to get by which is ...
A. 9 August 2012: OP Asks, "So, my question is am I really mean, should I share everything and give her a better quality of life? Should I get married? Am I really that awful?"
I don't see your relationship as being financially inequitable. I don't think you are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to move interstate with him, which means quitting my job, selling my house, etc.
Q. My boyfriend of 3.5 years is considering applying for jobs interstate. He may be lucky to find a job where we currently are (his current one will be ending soon) but i would say it is 50/50. I know it isn't actually happening yet but we need to be ...
A. 8 August 2012: From a practical point of view the answer seems obvious. You have a long term relationship with your house. You have a long term relationship with your job. You don't have a long term relationship with your boyfriend. You don't trust him enough ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for people in long-term relationships to develop romantic feelings for others?
Q. The ex and I broke up after 8.5 years together two days ago. The immediate cause: his attraction for his coworker over the last 2 years, which in the last half year or so, has developed into romantic feelings (my gut feeling is that he's in love ...
A. 31 July 2012: Dear Antarctica Anonymous,
You sure did pile the questions in there. I'm sorry to say that I won't be answering them all. You are suffering under some misconceptions. Yes there is much you don't know about relationships. But, based on your age... (read in full...)
Lack of communication caused me to break up with boyfriend. Did I do the right thing?
Q. Hey, I've been having issues with my boyfriend for a while, and eventually they became overwhelming. There suddenly was too many to fire fight. It was to do with my bf not really finding it easy to communicate. He slowly got better, but when m...
A. 31 July 2012: Hi Rosycheeks,
Your question is, did you do the right thing. You did a lot of right things. One you used good communication skills. Two, you worked on problems in the relationship instead of fighting. Three you waited until he was ready to... (read in full...)
I used my dad's condoms and now I am worried he'll find out
Q. I found 3 condoms in my dad's dresser but the expired over a year a ago so i used one then a few months another one and today i used the last one. My parents fight some what and don't sleep together in the same room, but i watched the last one for a ...
A. 31 July 2012: Dear Anonymous, 22-25
The first and most important principle here is honesty. You are stealing. Granted there is very low value here, but it is still taking something that isn't yours. So the thing you should do, is to replace what you have tak... (read in full...)
Do posters on Dear Cupid frame their questions in a way that would lead to them getting answers which they unknowingly want?
Q. This isn't a question about myself, it's about all of us in general who post questions here on dearcupid. I think it's an odd set up because, like with any agony aunt site, the only information the answerer has to go on lies with the questioner, and ...
A. 30 July 2012: Interesting Question, Anonymous Original poster,
I believe that in many cases the questioner is looking for validation for the answer they already have in mind. Some times they get it, some times they don't. Another interesting phenomen... (read in full...)
Men: Would you chose a nature program on tv or sex with your girlfriend?
Q. If you were 45 years old and had your 21 year old girlfriend ask you to bed for a blow job and sex would you choose a nature programme (that could be recorded) or your girlfriend. i would appreciate your comments ...
A. 28 July 2012: As a man in the neighborhood of 45 years old. I'm marginally qualified to answer this question. I, and apparently every other guy who has read this in the last hour, believe that there is a lot more to this than a hypothetical question. We are ... (read in full...)
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