A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:alright, long question here: ok so about 2 years ago i had told this girl whom i had been really good friends with for about 2 years (prior to that) that i liked her as more than a friend.She was super cool about it but she told me that she liked someone else, which i accepted, and so we decided to remain friends. Anyway we have gotten together a number times since then and i want to make this clear, she has in no way shape or form done anything to lead me on in anyway, e.g. saying "we can't be together right now" but every time i see her and hang out with her I end up falling for her again and even though i know that nothing is ever going to happen between us.I still feel the same way about her because she is such an amazing person and we both have very similar interests and just knowing that we share similar interests and really like spending time together and still not being able to be anything more than friends.Anyway my question is how can I manage these feelings every time i am around her because i have already made the decision that I will not cut her out as a friend because she has done all that she can do to make sure our friendship stays in tact and I want to do the same.Any help is appreciated, thanks!
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (20 August 2012):
 I guess you just like pain, and loneliness. You are ready to give up the possibility of real happiness for yourself in order to maintain this friendship. This friendship that is really just a farce of you hanging on desperate for the table scraps of her affections. You think this is some noble act. You think that she values your friendship. Sooner or later she will just wish you will go away.
You probably think I don't know what I am talking about. I have two experiences that let me see what you are doing.
First my own experience at your age. There was a girl that I couldn't see without getting butterflies. Like your girl she had the good sense to tell me nothing could happen between us. Unlike you, I had the sense to stay away from her.
Second My Daughter. She was the type to hold on to every friend. Even when they hurt her. After years of suffering she finally cut all those ties. Finally after many years she can allow herself to be happy with just one love.
The best way to deal with your feelings is to stop seeing her.
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