A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guysSo I'm feeling uncomfortable with my boyfriend's reaction to what I wear.I am a doctor and at work I wear scrubs. He came to see me at work the other day and then said he could see my bra (the strap was showing so I pulled my top back to the centre again). That evening he asked me how many guys at work have come onto me, since they can see straight down my top. I said nobody comes on to me, it's a professional environment and we are all wearing the same clothes anyway. He says I am kidding myself and the guys will all be looking down my top and jerking off later.He sometimes makes comments about my own clothes, mainly if he thinks they are too revealing. I told him I don't appreciate the comments as I can choose my own clothes, they are always modest, and I am totally trustworthy.He says I'm just telling you the truth, because I know what guys are like. It's not you I worry about, it's them.Still, I really dislike these comments. What do you think??
View related questions:
at work, bra Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Possessive. NOT a good trait. And critical of you, too. This guy really is NOT a "keeper". Just walk.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (14 August 2012):
 From a guy's point of view.
Scrubs were invented to make it easy to change out quickly in an emergency. They are the epitome of utility. They are unisex, baggy, and functional. Nope I'm not going to get excited about a woman who wears scrubs. More likely I will respect her professionalism.
Next wardrobe malfunction, bra strap peaking. I'm pretty sure most of the women I see during the average day are wearing a bra. It is no surprise to me when I see one. It's a blazing hot summer here. If I needed relief after every bra glimpse I get, I'd need an arm brace. He is worrying about nothing.
You are right don't put up with it.
FA
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): Says more about him than it does us guys OP, sounds like he's projecting his own perversions onto the rest of us. I certainly don't jack off just because I saw a woman with a bra strap hanging out, this guy is obviously a loon.
Be very careful OP, this is how it starts, he's completely possessive already and his sly little digs then are all methods of control which will eat away at your confidence if you let them. I bet you take a second look when you go to the bathroom at work now to see if your strap is hanging out or your boobs showing too much.
"It's not you I worry about, it's them."
Really? He's truly worried that some imaginary guy from pervland might jerk off to a mental image of you? That's a very weird thing to be worried about isn't? It makes no sense and you know why because it's absolute horsecock, he's full of shit and weird.
Well I'm a guy OP and how I think is simple really, it doesn't matter what you wear if I think you're so beautiful, enough to be wankspiration then I will be taking off your clothes in my mind anyway.
OP guys are going to drool over my girlfriend because she's pretty no matter what she wears why would I be worried about them when I know she can be trusted? Why would I care if they wank to a mental image of her? She's not my property, other guys are allowed to be attracted to her because I trust her.
OP the only advice I can give you is to never, ever let him say anything other than a constructive criticism about your clothing again, such as the colour of that dress doesn't really go well with your shoes or a compliment about you looking great. Do not stand for it, tell him very sharply and in a determined way never to put you down like that because you don't care what other guys think he's making feel bad and he has to stop.
Be very careful here OP, it's time you guarded your emotions here a bit and took a closer look at this guys behaviour. There are probably a lot more little things you've brushed off that all together paint the picture of a guy who is jealous, possessive and controlling, you're a doctor and an expert at finding signs it won't be that hard just don't let your emotions cloud your judgement. If behaviour isn't logical and it's consistently bad then this guy is a loser and you need to get rid.
But do not tolerate irrelevant, weird bullshit like this. he doesn't get to put you down or make you feel bad based on what he thinks you should wear based on the absolute bullshit idea that it's other guys he's worried about and not you, how patronizing and condescending is that for a view? You're a doctor for fuck sake not an idiot.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 August 2012):
 I think this is one of the early signs of a control freak. Be very aware of any others that will most likely pop up. You must be completely firm about letting him know that you control what you wear and when you wear it, not him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 August 2012):
 He needs to chill.. It's freaking scrubs lol
Sounds like he would be perfectly happy if you wore a hijab and was covered from head to toe.
I will quote you:
He says I'm just telling you the truth, because I know what guys are like. It's not you I worry about, it's them.
He is lying. It's BS. IF he trusts you guys could be drooling all over you, but it would have no effect on you, as YOU are a decent respectful, faithful woman. I seriously doubt there are ANY women who will drop their knickers over a wolf call or a whistle..
Your man... needs to come out of the Dark Ages...
To me, when a man wants his partner to dress (down mainly) it's because he is insecure and controlling. First it's your clothes, then your hair, make-up, then you can't leave the house without a chaperon, you can only eat this or that... You can't text anyone but him.. so forth... Controlling people are scary.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 August 2012):
 He's telling you his level of maturity... zip and none.
He's wrong... and it's his perception of life...
mature folks just accept that women wear things that sometimes will show a bra strap or two... and yeah if you look down a top you will see boobs in a bra but seriously... grown men are not jerking off to it... 12 year old boys maybe...
...............................
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Without actually seeing you it's hard to tell whether what you're wearing it's too revealing. Personally I don't like women showing cleavage as my eye gets drawn in. If your underwear is not visible and people can't see down your top, i don't see a problem. But i would if they could.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 August 2012):
 I don't know what world he lives in, but guys who are classy don't skeeve off of women in scrubs only to go home and jack off later.
This guy sounds gross and immature.
...............................
|
