A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i am beginning to hate my best friend and i don't know what to doso basically... we have been friends for the past 3 years, since the start of high school and now i'm beginning to find her more and more annoyingshe is REALLY moody, and it's not her period or anything because she hasn't even startedshe makes me feel unimportantif i feel proud about something she'll always try and shoot me downshe brags about everythingher little brother is so annoying, he punched me once, i told her and she said he only did it to make everyone laugh like wtfshe says i take too many selfies when our whole group chat is filled with her ownshe lies all the timeshe never shares anything, if she asks for something of mine i always give it to her but when i ask her for a small favour she says really?she's so racist!, i am an asian girl and she's half black and half white but she's always doing indian accents, saying that white and balck people come from richer backgrounds, saying that she doesn't like her black side. like on e day she met up with a few of her black friends and afterwards she said that they called her impure because she was mixed and then she said " but actually i'm purer than them because white is pure and i'm half white" i was like that's really racist but then she was like " but it's true" she always throws massive fits about everything but says i'm too sensitiveshe calls me unfitmost of you are probably gonna say not to be friends with her but our friendship group is really close so she's always gonna be around and we have this group called nyc which is me her and some other girl, we are all really close and i don't want to ruin thatanother one of my friends feels the same way but it's really complicatedPLS HELP!thanks
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 December 2014):
 Stay friendly, but draw the line. Don't do things for her that you know she wouldn't do back. And don't be extra nice to her. Just be friendly and polite, but nothing more.
Although, people do outgrow one another and not all friendships are meant to last a life time. Perhaps it is time to realize that this girl is not going to stay a "best friend" in your life, she's already not a true friend of yours any longer, and you're not a true friend of hers. You dislike her. Friends don't dislike one another. I think you're just afraid to let her go because it was good, before, and you are hoping things will go back to the way they used to be. But she's going down a different path from you. You can't hold on to her forever.
I say, just let the friendship die on it's own. Have less and less contact with her, just let it fade out.
A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (22 December 2014):
What is is that you actually like about this girl? She sounds like the kinda girl that it's simply easier to be friends with her than NOT be friends and deal with even more bitchiness from her. I know that loyalties and being "friends forever" are important during your teenage years but in reality we do lose some of our childhood friends because we change so much during adolescence and early adulthood and we find we're no longer really compatible with them (and their outlook on life and they way they treat others etc)Looking at your age group and the country you post from... are you in you final year at school?? If you are, just limp along with the friendship until the Summer and then start withdrawing slowly. If you've got plans to study for A-levels - do that at a college where this friend ISN'T going. It'll be easier to start making new friends and withdraw from her a little.But there aren't really any little tips, tricks or methods that would work to change this girls behaviour so it's a case of like it, lump it or leave.
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A
female
reader, KC12  +, writes (22 December 2014):
 I understand you still wanting to have her in your life, as part of your group. But, as I see it your friend seems really narcissistic, and friends like that can be toxic and damage your own self esteem, at the very least. If she's racist against you because you're Asian, then that's not a true friend. I would keep "friendly" with her, but try to make other newer friends. As you get older, you'll find out who your true friends are and who is just an associate--this girl is an associate. Most likely when you get out of high school you'll hardly ever see or hear from her. You'll make all new friends that love and respect you. But your experience now with her will help you find out which ones are true and which are "fair weather friends." Meantime, keep your head up and know that you are a person of value, and don't let anyone take that away from you. Keep your distance from this so-called-friend, and just be polite and talk to her when you need to. Branch out and form other friendships. And, good luck to you!
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