A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. He's wonderful in every way. I want to tell him I love him but what if he brushes it off like it doesn't mean anything? We've talked about our other relationships and before with another girl, he didn't like telling her that he loved her all the time. He says it loses its meaning if you say it a lot. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 December 2014):
 So he's a guy who doesn't like to express his feelings through words. Are you a person who feels love through words? Search the "five love languages". The use of words is only one way to express love. Just because he doesn't like to say it, doesn't mean he's not feeling it or expressing it in other ways.
Now, that being said, telling him you love him is more for your own sake than for his. Telling someone you love them feels good, because you put words on your feelings and lets the other know. If you keep it hidden, it will start to feel almost like a dirty little secret, something to be ashamed of, something you shouldn't say, and you become fearful. But love is good, and warm, and creates happiness. You telling him you love him will be good for you, because you finally tell him how you feel and let go of this fear you have built up. It will also be good for him, because then he will know he is loved.
When I tell someone I love them, it isn't because I want to hear it back, or because I expect something from the other. I tell a person I love them because that is what I feel for them, and it makes me feel great! The more I say it, the happier I become. To me it's not something that feels "used up" when it is true. I do, however, refuse to say it just out of habit, or because it is expected, or at any other moment when I don't feel a particular need to say it. Because I too would feel it would lose meaning then. There are moments when the feeling of love rushes through my body, and those are the moments I want to say it. Not at other moments, when I for example am more concerned about doing the dishes, or am thinking about something completely different from love...
Anyway, you should tell him because you feel it, you don't need any other reason. And you don't have to expect anything in return, because how you feel about him is not related to anything else. Whether he likes to say the words or not doesn't mean YOU should not express yourself. We each are different, and should do things the way they come naturally to us. Now, of course, if he feels uncomfortable with love declarations, you could tone it down a notch and not write it in the clouds or make grand declarations. But you've not said it in two years. I do not think you should worry so much about some imagined discomfort he has with expressing himself through words. Let that be his problem, not yours. Express yourself!
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (22 December 2014):
 If you've been with a partner a long time and are in a committed relationship with them, you should be saying "I love you" EVERY DAY to each other! It's really important! It does not lose its meaning at all.
If your boyfriend has difficulty saying this to you after two years or doesn't like hearing it from you, maybe he's not as in love with you as you are with him.
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