A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If a guy lives with his parents, usually it seems if the guy is past a certain age and lives with his parents, he won't get a second look from most women, but if a woman lives with her parents regardless of her age, it's usually not a deal-breaker to most men, regardless if the man lives with his parents or not.Is this a cultural thing or what? are there any women here that have dated and don't mind at all dating a guy that lives with his parents? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 December 2014):
 It's just a pragmatic thing. What guy can say to his folks; "Do you mind if I bring (your name here) home for the night... and take her up to my room for a little sex?" Whilest that young lady can say to HER parents: "I have a date with (his name here)....and I expect we are going to have a good time."
YOUR FOLKS know that you are going to go out and get a little... but the onus is on HIM to provide the location.
Good luck... Hope this advice helped....
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 December 2014):
OP, I wouldn't get into a new living situation to appease a hypothetical date. Look, if you have a good reason to still be living at home, just explain it to her. You'd be surprised how understanding people can be. Again, as long as living at home isn't a symptom of a bigger problem like dependency, addiction, etc. it's not a problem.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2014): Men might make 25% more money. But in my life experience we are expected to have more like 50-100% more money.
Look at the math on what it costs a typical 20s young man to live on his own versus living with parents. The cost savings go way beyond the rent alone.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 December 2014):
 I don't think it's a black and white issue. I wouldn't date a man who lives at home, in general, because it can mean he's not mature or can take care of himself. But every situation is different. My first boyfriend lived with his mother in order to help her pay rent. He had a full time job and every opportunity to live by himself, and had been living by himself for some time too, but gave up his own place and rented a bigger apartment together with his mom when she got divorced. Just to help pay the bills and make it possible for her to get divorced. I moved in with them too, so in a sense I too was "living with his mom". But it wasn't like we were living like kids and she was our mom, we were three adults who shared an apartment. In that sense we were indeed room-mates more than anything. Not that it was recognized by the state, my then boyfriend couldn't get student loans because the state said he still "lived at home" despite him paying half the rent. So it's tricky.
But every situation is different. "Living at home with parents" to me, it means you still live in your childhood home, in the same room you've had as a kid, not paying rent and your mom does the cooking and cleaning for you, as if you were still a child. Such a living situation is looked down upon. But renting a room in your parents house is completely different, if you cook your own food, do your own laundry, clean your own room etc. I had a friend who lived "at home" with her parents until she was 28. She rented a room, paid rent every month. The parents had an apartment in the basement, and when the tenant moved out of there my friend moved in, and just had to pay more in rent as this time she got her own kitchen and bathroom too, as opposed to just renting a bedroom in the same house as the parents.
For me, it's about whether you are paying your share as an adult, or if you are still living the life of a child. I don't think there's any statistical grounds to imply there is a difference between women and men living with parents. This is just subjective opinion. But if there is a difference, in my opinion it would be because of old cultural standards (which I really hate btw). Standards such as women being expected to cook and clean, while men just make the money. If a woman then lives with her parents, it's assumed that she contributes to the chores. If its a man living with his parents, then it is assumed his mother does all the chores. That is, if you think about the cultural expectations. Thats the only reason I can think of that would mean being a man living at home is "worse" than being a woman living at home. It comes down to whether a person is perceived to be contributing or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno I am not saying or implying on mentioning to women that my parents are my roommates, that not what I meant. I meant if I just get some of my friends and we pitch rent for an apartment together?
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (28 December 2014):
 If so, I do not believe that's a good plan. If you spend any time with that woman, she will find out eventually. I suppose if you were just having a guest for only one night and had no concerns for the repercussions of lying, then that would be your decision. In which case, roommates probably would favor you more so than parents.
~SY
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (28 December 2014):
Are you asking if it's a good idea to tell women that your parents are just "roommates?"
~SY
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 December 2014):
Roommates are frowned upon at some point, but not your 20's. However, telling people you have roommates, when they are in fact your parents, is basically lying by deception.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionis it okay if I live with a roommate or 2 at the moment despite me being in my late 20's? even though I live with my parents at the moment, is living with roommates, would that come across as more presentable to women instead of living with parents in your late 20's?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2014): I think its not only the fact itself but also why you live with your parents. ARe you unemployed? Are you still in school, if yes why in your late 20s. Most people already are done with schooling at this age. I don't think it's nly the fact itself. If you are successfully employed or run your own business, and basically stand on your feet, but choose to live with your parents to save money to buy a house in a couple years, I can't see if explained how any woman would regect you.
But if you have low paid job that can't let you to have your own place that's a different story. With women being more and more independent now the situation is that they don't need a man to survive. And also they don't want someone to take care of financially. They are the ones who care for children,so they need a man to be able to provide for them and offsprings when they are not able to work, not the other way around. Smart women won't look at you if you are in bad financial position, and if they are not explained, seeing you living with your parents tells them that you are financially unstable.
Equality theory doesn't work here.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 December 2014):
When I lived with my parents I never had trouble getting women. But I lived with them because I was going to school.
If you're in your late 20's and living with them it means you're unsuccessful. Women tend to look for a provider while men look for a mother to their children. A good provider doesn't live with his parents in his late 20's. But a woman who would make a good mother/wife could.
It's not only a cultural thing it's basically instinct.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 December 2014):
I think it's because people expect a certain level of independence from people in the 25+ crowd. There's more pressure on men because men are originally viewed as the breadwinners of the family, who makes sure the family has the things it needs to survive. The woman is tasked with putting these things to good use by cooking, cleaning, etc. Our grandparents grew up with this and these gender roles still influence the generation of today.
Whether it's a dealbreaker now depends on why you still live at home. If you're an otherwise independent person who just can't find a job that gives you the financial means to move out, or if you're still studying, or if you're helping your parents, or any other reason that puts it largely out of your hands, then that shouldn't be a reason to dismiss you. If your situation is a symptom of a bigger problem, like for example a lack of responsibility, laziness, or an obsession with gaming, gambling, etc. then I get why they pass you up.
Also, if you're being judged by younger people, just remember they simply don't have the life experience.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (27 December 2014):
 Boys are taught at an early age that the man is expected to leave home,establish an income source and take a bride whereupon they produce an offspring and he is the "provider' not the couch potatoe that lives with mommy and daddy leting them do all trhe providing. It's like a law of nature. no insults to be infered from it just established behaviour. Find something wrong with that picture? If so then the world is an alien place.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2014): I think because while everyone in US talk about equality so much, women still make less money than men by 25% for the same job. For women to live on their own is more challenging money wise. Also men are still judged by women by their ability to provide, and be independent financially. Especially by those in your age frame , as they are ready to settle and have families. Women look at the men's ability to support them when baby will come and a woman won't be able to work for awhile. As you can see the equality doesn't really work here.
Personally I would never pay attention if a guy lived with his parents if he is even moderately succesfull and has a job. I actually dated a guy for awhile who lived with his grandmother at the age of 28. He took care of her, and saved a bunch on rent, which for me was very smart. To be engaged in intimate situations was a bit of a problem, because grandma was always home, but we sometimes went to a hotel, or when my roomate was out for the night.
If you meet the right person she won't pay attention to this, if it's the only thing she doesn't particularly like.,
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A
female
reader, StarNocta +, writes (27 December 2014):
I think that it is a cultural thing.
Living on your own means your mature, responsible enough to handle the money and can live your own life.
Media potrays the guy at home as an older nerd that collects toys, plays nerdy games, jerks off to porn and eating junk food while yelling at yourube comments.
I am currently dating a guy who is a few years older than me and he lives at home with his parents. He is currently a shift manager at a fast food resturant, owns his own car, has guns and is quite the responsible guy. I didn't think twice about this because I still live at home, but honestly I don't get why anyone would judge untill they proved they fit the stereotype.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (27 December 2014):
It's primitive, evolutionary. The male of every species is expected to provide safety, shelter, and protection. The female are chosen based on fertility (physical beauty is an indicator of health and fertility). If a man is living with his parents, he probably is being judged as not fulfilling his niche in society or in a relationship.
~SY
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (27 December 2014):
It's primitive, evolutionary. The male of every species is expected to provide safety, shelter, and protection. The female are chosen based on fertility (physical beauty is an indicator of health and fertility). If a man is living with his parents, he probably is being judged as not fulfilling his niche in society or in a relationship.
~SY
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