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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend who wants to marry me, wants me to give away my 2 cats whom i love so much because the cat hair disgust him alot. He loves to spend the night with me, but isnt comfortable because of all the cat hair. Should I give them away? PS he laid on my bed to take a nap yesterday and got up with cat hair all over his shirt...it bothers him so much it makes him gag. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): I don't think giving the cats away is a good idea. I am having a similar problem. My boyfriend moved in with me last year and before he moved I said are you sure because my cats can be anoying and you might not like it. He said oh no its ok I will be fine I am moving for you. Well ever since he has moved in he has made life difficult for me and wants me to get rid of them. I have gone above and beyond to accomidate him even by keeping them confined to a room when I am away and scooping the litter alot to keep smells down. Its not good enough. Today we fought about it. I told him when the lease is up I am moving on without him and how dare he move in with me full well knowing the situation and then want me to get rid of them. He thinks I am putting them higher than him. I am so heartsick over this. Its not fair.
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reader, kandiapple01  +, writes (20 October 2010):
I would NEVER EVER give my pets away for a guy! Thats out of the question.
If he knew your cats meant that much to you, he shouldn't have even asked. You guys should work it out. Keep your cats in seprate rooms or only on one floor. Or hang out more at his place. It's not like he is allergic to it. Work things out. Giving your cats away is not a soultion!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all who answered my question I do appreciate it. I do have a pet hair vacuum and lint rollers lol. I think I should just keep the cats off my bed as some of you have said. I just bought two cat beds hoping they will sleep on that instead of my bed.I have tried to brush them, but they will NOT let me...should I just spend money I dont have on a groomer? As for giving them away if I do...the only way this would happen is if my dad will take the cats. I wont trust anyone else to, and I will never ever give any animal away to the pound!!! So for now Im going to try grooming more and keeping them off my bed.
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reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (19 October 2010):
 He should carry around a lint roller, it gets off animal hair as well..It's possible he isn't a cat person or has personal vendetta against them. Who knows? I would follow everyone's advice and get a pet hair vacuum, keeps my home clean with that extra brush designed to suck up pet hair. Also, wash your bedsheets or throw on fresh ones before he comes over. I'd move the litter box in another room and close the door to your bedroom so the cats won't wallow on your bedroom.
Do make it clear that you aren't going to give away the cats (it's hard to unload two) or take them to the pound where they could be euthanized. Tell him you will do what you can to make it a less hairy environment. But animals are part of your family so let him know this is a package deal.
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reader, Battista  +, writes (19 October 2010):
I don't think you should get rid of the cats.
However, if he is getting cat hair all over him just by having a nap on the bed, that is really pretty gross. We used to have two cats and I was really careful about keeping the house clean, especially the bedroom as I am also a bit asthmatic. There is no need to have cat hair all over the place if you make an effort to keep it clean.
Perhaps you could try and come to a compromise and promise to make an effort to get rid of the hair, and see how he reacts then. It is really annoying, and I think unhygienic, to get cat hair on your clothes and have it in the bed, so I can see where he's coming from; he might think the only option is to get rid of the cats if you won't keep the place clean.
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reader, Erik-A.  +, writes (19 October 2010):
1. He may have an allergy toward cathair.
2. Sleeping with cats or pets is a turnoff.
3. Sleeping with pets is not hiegenic.
4. Find a solution that fits the needs of the both of you.
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 It's not fair for him asking you to get rid of an important object of affection because he does not like it. What if you don't like his best friend ?, would he get rid of him to please you ?
So, unlessy he is severely allergic to cat hair,-stick to your furry friends.
There's no need to let your home fill up with cat hair though, I had for years two Persian cats and the problem was really minimal because I groomed them daily with the special brush, vacuumed often and never let them sleep on beds.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): AS I write my boyfriend is in the guest room sleeping...and two of my three cats and my two jack russels are ON my bed. My Bengal cat got attacked by a coyote on Friday and is lucky I got him to the vet in time..as I was home. He is NOT sleeping ANYWHERE but next to me!
I've let this man control my life..he started with my PETS..kicking them OUT of my house..and then interfered in every job, relative (including my only child), friend, job and activity I do. Now he starts SMOKING again..and has the nerve to say anything about the cat hair and cat messes? I clean religiously..he's the one who throws everything all over the place and leaves crumbs and dirty dishes everywhere. ALL he has been doing is bitching about the animals and then everything else. I moved him out while he was on vacation (its my house) and he has a different tune now.
Get kitty his or her own bed and encourage kitty to sleep there...or lock kitty out of your room..but you WILL come to resent it and all. I've had a lot of people who don't "love" my animals. I keep them in a different room or in the yard when these folks visit..but I keep asking myself that one of the first horrible signs my boyfriend showed was ousting the animals.
I'm lucky to have any left. I am wishing he was GONE right now. I should have NEVER let him wangle his way back here. He is "starting" up again..
Next the guy won't like your child, your mom, your cousin...and on and on. He wont' be happy the cat is off the bed..it will probably be out of the bedroom and then out of the house..
HOLD your ground and try and mentally go through any and all OTHER things he doesn't like that "grosses him out". Ive had my cats 14, 10 and 5 years. They are not going anywhere --like when he made them all stay outside while I was trying to sell my house in AZ one summer.
I'd rather have HIM stay outside now that I've been with him over two years. I keep ASKING myself why I didn't catch on that he was controlling my life..starting with ousting the pets from the house...
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reader, Lexie88  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 The person who asked what's more important to you, him or your cats, obviously doesn't get it. Pets are a huge part of our lives and they make us happy. But I'm not saying that the cats are more important than your partner.
What I'm saying is that it's all about compromise.
I have a cat and my boyfriend isn't that impressed with her :) he's just not a cat person. We don't live together yet but I have told him that I do want a cat in my life in the future. I've told him that cats make me happy and that I want to be happy. He's agreed to it as long as the cat doesn't sleep in our bed.
So what you should do is tell him that your cats are a part of you and that they make you happy. You should then ensure that your place and most importantly your bed is clean so that he's more comfortable. (my cat doesn't go on my bed and if she does she has a blanket just for her which I can remove easily).
If in the end he is a man who insists that his happiness is worth more than yours then I don't know if he's a man that you want to spend the rest of your life with. What if down the track you want a baby but he says that poo and vomit disgust him?
This may be a minor issue you can compromise on or it could be a sign that he's not as tolerant and considerate as you'd want him to be. Choose wisely.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): To me, my pets are like my children. I couldn't give them up because an insensitive person is bothered by their "hair." So, if some hair bothers him, what's next? I say, stick with the cats. There are already millions of cats in shelters that can't find homes and are instead put to sleep. So sad.
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reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 http://www.drsfostersmith.com/pic/article.cfm?aid=682
A couple of tips to reduce the amount of hair your cats shed. Perhaps if that helps he will stop minding it or better yet, he will get used to it and at least adapt, for you if nothing else. If you two are to get married, he will have to respect you and your choices.
I hope that helps.
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reader, Ven +, writes (19 October 2010):
Understand that if you are to marry him, his happiness is your priority and the last thing a new couple needs to worry about are silly arguments that just make the big ones worse.
At the same time, your happiness is his priority.
Your best bet is to clean your place and make sure it is free of cat mess when he is over. If you can show him that life with you isn't life in a furball ocean, he may lighten up on keeping the cats.
Lastly, you have to trust that he is going to want you happy and that he will meet you halfway in this somewhere.
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