A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why is it a problem for me to mention marriage and/or anything about marriage and/or weddings to my boyfriend? We are not engaged yet, but he says we will be eventually. Why can't I talk about these things with him? This has been my life-long dream: to get married to someone I am completely in love with, and we are in love and want to stay together.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 How long have you guys been together?
A
female
reader, LoveBlues +, writes (21 October 2010):
Do you know if he doesnt want u to talk about marriage? or is just who doesnt want to talk to him about it?
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I think it is pretty impossible for any one here to make a judgement call about why your boyfriend won't talk about marriage with you when he has told you eventually he will get married....but did he say he would marry you?
If he hasn't said that, then he may not want to marry you, ever.
But you really have to have this conversation with yim. Call him out on it. Say, I've notice that when ever I bring up the subject of getting married, you go quiet or refuse to talk, what's up? And then listen to his answer.
He's pretty young, my guess is he is a long way off feeling like he can provide for a wife. Men usually are not ready to be married until they achieve that goal of being able to provide, young men often tell a girlfriend what they want to hear.
It may be your life long dream to get married, but be carefull that you are not choosing being married over choosing him as the ONE.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Guys get freaked out when women start to throw up the commitment card. They don't know what to say when we're talking about fluffy white dresses, who's going to cater, burnt orange is pretty for a fall wedding. So they just nod and smile, or murmur "mhmm". I mean what do you expect him to sit down and look at swatches with you?
One you're not engaged yet, and all the talk of marriage won't make him propose any faster. Talk to your girlfriends about this and get ideas. But again you don't have a ring on your finger so it's best to wait before you start definitely planning or picking out your wedding gown. In fact that's bad luck if you get your wedding dress before he proposes. Happened to my cousin, thought her boyfriend of 5 years was going to propose but he ended up dumping her and now it's sitting in the closet collecting dust. It's every girl's dream to grow up and marry her prince charming, I blame Disney for this. Honey, calm down. He will propose when he's ready. Save the marriage talk for your friends, you don't want to drive it into the ground.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Probably because that's not what he wants. It could also be because he has some issues surrounding marriage (like his parents had a bad one or something). I agree that we don't have a lot to go on, so it is hard to say.
Talk of marriage can be very scary to a lot of men. I used to hate when my ex brought up the topic. In my case it was because I never wanted to marry her, but couldn't really bring myself to tell her I didn't see the future she did.
How long have you been together? Why are you talking marriage before even engagement?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 There is not nearly enough information here. If he is uncomfortable with your talk of marriage and a lifelong commitment, then stop. I get the feeling when he says you will be together eventually, he is simply trying to feed your dreams to keep you around for longer. Just be careful with him.
But I can only guess, I do not know enough to offer better advise.
I hope that helps.
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