A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:my boyfriend has been chattinng to this girl who likes him.. shes been really flirty with him.i saw her text messages yesterday and i replied back to her.. i asked my bf he said i have nothing to worry about and that i have no idea how much he loves me and would never cheat cos the way i hold him down..he cant bring himself to cheat even when girls at the clubs tries it on him everytime.i got really angry i almost walked out on him..i asked him to stop speaking to her he said thats his friend..he keeps saying he loves me too much and i have nothing to worry about.but am scared i will lose him..hes handsome, friendly and really sweet..girls just wont back off him:(what should I do? i really dont wanna be the crazy girlfriend:(thnxx..xx
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female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Instead of making a big deal over the texts which you cannot control anyway...ask him to introduce you to this "friend" and meet her for drinks, then make sure you are very friendly to her and let her know that you aren't the least bit worried about your boyfriend cheating with her because the two of you have been together a long time and are serious...
Make sure he introduces you to her as his girlfriend, if he doesn't that says all you need to know and hear.
End it and move on if that is the case. If not give him the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
You also reward a guy's unwanted, bad behavior with distance and non attention, be busy for a week and watch how he behaves.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (21 October 2010):
 You might lose him but not because he goes and finds a girl and cheats, but because he will feel that he can't be with a person who is so insecure that is scare of him going out and getting ph text. If he feels that you don't trust him when he done nothing wrong this will not work in your favor, you should try to work on your insecurities issues because this is your problem not his. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I think it may be wise to see this from a different point of view. Pretend your boyfriend posted on here instead of you. Would he not write something about his girlfriend, whom he loves deeply, not getting along with a friend of his whom he texts sometimes. Would he not write about how his girlfriend, though lovely in every way, does not trust him and that he is hurt by that. Though he has sworn himself to you because he loves you that much.
What would be my answer to him if he were to ask such a thing? I suppose I would tell him to sit himself and his girlfriend down and talk. I would advise him to listen to you and listen to how hurt you are by his actions and then I would tell him to ensure that his girlfriend hears him and understands why he contacts this friend of his. I would tell him that whilst his girlfriend needs to be more accepting of his freedom, he should be more considerate of her emotions.
Women may not ever stop being attracted to him and you cannot stop that from happening. But he is faithful to you. Do you not trust him? If you do, then let him be, if you cannot trust him, then perhaps you two cannot be together.
You could not possibly appear as the crazy girlfriend. It is understandable that you would feel this way, especially since this friend of his has a crush on him. But then perhaps you two could talk it out and he can find it in his love for you, the consideration needed for him to stop butchering your worries like this.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Well, it looks to me as if you have basically two choices here: one is to accept what he says about her being no more than a friend and request that if he continues to send her texts that he not respond in a "flirty" manner. In other words to see if you can simply learn to live with the fact that girls are so attracted to him - While at the same time, being glad that he has chosen YOU, not anyone else.
The other is to give some serious thought as to whether its really worth it for you to continue to be in relationship with him, if it puts this much stress on you and you aren't satisfied with his reassurances of how much he cares about you.......
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