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I'm worried it is just becoming habit instead of having meaning!

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 5 November 2010)
A female Singapore age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I are together for around 8 months for now. And recently, we started to sleep together, yes just sleeping and heavy petting which includes me giving him handjob and blowjobs and him fingering me.

However, I have discussed with him about our closeness at the moment. As I have been going to stay over in his hostel, once every week for the past few months. Often, I will help him to get his "thing" out without having sex and him fingering me until I am very wet.

We agreed to save our virginity until our engagement. However, I am afraid that as time passes our "once a week doings" will become a habit instead of doing it because it is something special shared between the both of us?

Should I continue to stayover in his hostel room? I have discussed with him and he agreed with my suggestion to skip a week without staying over in his hostel room next week to try out ...

I know it sounds confusing but I would just like to ask if our "once a week doing" will end up being a habit instead of something out of love?

View related questions: blow-job, fingering, hand-job

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010):

Suitcase, female's become prostitutes because they love sex so much? What the hell? Maybe you should change your name to basketcase.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (21 October 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntHey suitcase, "just think for a second WHY THERE'S ONLY FEMALE PROSTITUTES" Where have you been living...under a rock?

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A female reader, OhGetReal United States +, writes (21 October 2010):

OhGetReal agony auntI think you are very confused about sex quite frankly. You are already having sex, you are giving him blow jobs for God's sake. I think you are feeling something else on his part other than "habit", it's called sexual frustration.

Why are you wating to have vaginal penetration until you are engaged? You're having sex, you are just in a splitting hairs kind of thing about full on penetrative sex. You are not virginal, you are playing games with yourself. Get on birth control, you are going to eventually be overcome by passion and do it and you will then have the worry of an unwanted pregnancy.

If you want to slow down the relationship because you are uncomfortable, however, you have every right to do so, but stop having sex, your once a week "doings" and simply spend time with him without the sex, just make out.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (21 October 2010):

dirtball agony auntI think you should try to say with him without the sexual stuff. If you're feeling that it is coming out of something other than love, then you need to re-establish the love.

Remember, just because something becomes habit, that doesn't mean it's bad or devoid of emotion. Part of how guys express their closeness to their partner is through sexual contact. It is our way of showing you how we feel about you.

You should always do want feels right to you. If this contact is starting to make you question if it's right, then it may be best to back off for now. Still, I wouldn't stop seeing him. Part of being in a relationship is having regular contact/face time with eachother.

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (21 October 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntSo stop doing it and make sure that you are focusing on the more romantic aspect of your relationship for a while, then, when you are sure that sex is not a necessary part of your relationship, if you wish, you can continue doing what you were doing before, this time with the knowledge that nothing lustful will affect either of you.

I hope that helps.

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A male reader, suitcase Sri Lanka +, writes (21 October 2010):

suitcase agony aunthay,,girl

your boy friend is lucky

my g.f. is very shy to do those stuff

let me tell you something

guys want a sex life

just think for a second WHY THERE'S ONLY FEMALE PROSTITUTES

that because they want it so much

but remember love should be there in every moment'

if he loves you

it's o.k to do so,,,

but keep your limits

without knowing you might dragged away to sex

that's not a good thing,,,good luck guide me through,,i'll help you out

being a guy i know how guys think

:)

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