A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I are together for around 8 months for now. And recently, we started to sleep together, yes just sleeping and heavy petting which includes me giving him handjob and blowjobs and him fingering me.However, I have discussed with him about our closeness at the moment. As I have been going to stay over in his hostel, once every week for the past few months. Often, I will help him to get his "thing" out without having sex and him fingering me until I am very wet. We agreed to save our virginity until our engagement. However, I am afraid that as time passes our "once a week doings" will become a habit instead of doing it because it is something special shared between the both of us?Should I continue to stayover in his hostel room? I have discussed with him and he agreed with my suggestion to skip a week without staying over in his hostel room next week to try out ...I know it sounds confusing but I would just like to ask if our "once a week doing" will end up being a habit instead of something out of love?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Suitcase, female's become prostitutes because they love sex so much? What the hell? Maybe you should change your name to basketcase.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 October 2010):
Hey suitcase, "just think for a second WHY THERE'S ONLY FEMALE PROSTITUTES" Where have you been living...under a rock?
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (21 October 2010):
I think you are very confused about sex quite frankly. You are already having sex, you are giving him blow jobs for God's sake. I think you are feeling something else on his part other than "habit", it's called sexual frustration.
Why are you wating to have vaginal penetration until you are engaged? You're having sex, you are just in a splitting hairs kind of thing about full on penetrative sex. You are not virginal, you are playing games with yourself. Get on birth control, you are going to eventually be overcome by passion and do it and you will then have the worry of an unwanted pregnancy.
If you want to slow down the relationship because you are uncomfortable, however, you have every right to do so, but stop having sex, your once a week "doings" and simply spend time with him without the sex, just make out.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 October 2010):
I think you should try to say with him without the sexual stuff. If you're feeling that it is coming out of something other than love, then you need to re-establish the love.
Remember, just because something becomes habit, that doesn't mean it's bad or devoid of emotion. Part of how guys express their closeness to their partner is through sexual contact. It is our way of showing you how we feel about you.
You should always do want feels right to you. If this contact is starting to make you question if it's right, then it may be best to back off for now. Still, I wouldn't stop seeing him. Part of being in a relationship is having regular contact/face time with eachother.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (21 October 2010):
So stop doing it and make sure that you are focusing on the more romantic aspect of your relationship for a while, then, when you are sure that sex is not a necessary part of your relationship, if you wish, you can continue doing what you were doing before, this time with the knowledge that nothing lustful will affect either of you.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, suitcase +, writes (21 October 2010):
hay,,girl
your boy friend is lucky
my g.f. is very shy to do those stuff
let me tell you something
guys want a sex life
just think for a second WHY THERE'S ONLY FEMALE PROSTITUTES
that because they want it so much
but remember love should be there in every moment'
if he loves you
it's o.k to do so,,,
but keep your limits
without knowing you might dragged away to sex
that's not a good thing,,,good luck guide me through,,i'll help you out
being a guy i know how guys think
:)
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