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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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Does he care at all?
Q. hello hope you all can help... ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years... he says im unaffectionate (i am such a loving person but gave up trying because he is non affectionate) ...if fact my question is this .. Ive always tried in the rela...
A. 27 October 2010: This relationship is lost. There is no more affection and not even the slightest hint of care. As he left you in the dark that night, so has he left you in darkness now. Alone and afraid because he will never be there for you. That is exactly what ... (read in full...)
His addiction to video games is destroying our relationship!
Q. What would you do? I am with a man who is lovely, upbeat, faithful and generous, but over that last 2 years, it seems his demeaner to me has changed in a negative way. The way he talks to me, and about me, seems to be not to put me down, but to say, ...
A. 26 October 2010: Do not be hesitant. He wasted a weekend that should have brought you two together. What could have been something you two loved, was instead something that stripped your heart of its utopia. As you said, you did not realize how neglected you were ... (read in full...)
Did I do something so horrific that is not forgivable, and should I feel this guilty?
Q. My ex and I dated on and off for 2 years, never had a very positive relationship. It was started as her cheating on her boyfriend with me, and she started dating me. I was happy, and thought that she changed. She broke up with me (although I'll ...
A. 26 October 2010: What you did was not so horrid. There are worse things and you know what you did was wrong. Find forgiveness in yourself, you have not yet destroyed a marriage. I cannot say that it is your place to reveal the truth to all, we can all only hope that ... (read in full...)
Could something so great really be real? Do I take the risk and maybe regret it or take the safe route and possibly regret it? Title
Q. I need some advice... I'm married...have been for a few years. My husband is a good guy in that he takes good care of me, I don't have to work or worry about money and our lives are pretty easy and simple, our families get along and my parents l...
A. 26 October 2010: Whatever you have with your husband right now is not love. He has hurt you and torn you, he will continue to do so. You cannot delude yourself into thinking that there is hope for this man. Though I have always lived by the fact that many people ... (read in full...)
Ideas for a second anniversary?
Q. My 2nd year anniversay is coming up. I made a scrap book for the first and I'd like to make something again. What shall I make? Any ideas?...
A. 26 October 2010: Make a jewel. Not for wearing, just something to be seen as a symbol. One jewel or small object that represents an aspect of your togetherness. You could place all of them in a small elegant box perhaps, whenever your partner opens it, it will be a ... (read in full...)
I regret what I did, but regret doesn't fix things
Q. Today I'm bogged down with regret, it never really leaves, but I usually manage it a little better, today though, I'm to weak to fight it, and so I feel its full debilitating force. I've always been a romantic, ever since I was a toddler, but aft...
A. 26 October 2010: And thus a hell is bestowed upon those who seek it and you know that in a sense, you do seek a hell in your own mind. But that is not the answer. Regret does indeed teach you just how careful you need to be from now on, with emotion, with love, with ... (read in full...)
Partner needs to come to terms with my past abuse
Q. i was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for approx 4 yrs and i now have a 2yr old daughter as a result of this, i have left her father and about 5 months ago i met a guy 4 yrs younger than i and it has been fantastic!! however, my ...
A. 26 October 2010: He does not know, he cannot know. If he has never been in your position, he will never understand why you stayed for so long. He will never understand why so many women remain in abusive relationships, their hearts racing with fear. Too afraid are ... (read in full...)
Should I have a kid; don't get off
Q. Moderator note: two questions from the same address Hello. Well me and this guy are talking and I want to have unprotected sex one time and he does too, because he said if you want to we can do it one time. Well we have only had sex 4-5 times wi...
A. 26 October 2010: Stop having sex. You are far too young, you knew this answer was inevitable, you were bound to hear it and inside, you know it is true. You are simply not ready yet and neither is your boyfriend. Not for sex and certainly not for a child. You two ... (read in full...)
Shia and Sunni, how to deal with parents?
Q. I am a Shia Muslim who is completely in love with a Sunni Muslim. Since we are different types of Muslims, my parents will not allow me to be with him, even though he respects my beliefs. What should I do? My parent's have good intentions and I ...
A. 26 October 2010: Both religions were born from the want for peace. Therefore, your religions should not get in the way of how you two feel about each other. Right now, do your religions truly conflict with each other spiritually? Excuse the fact that a marriage is ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty and foolish for being open! So is it best to close up?
Q. My first boyfriend of almost two years is great. I can’t find many things wrong with him, in fact, next to him, I’ve been feeling almost inadequate! He is careful when he speaks. He tries to avoid conversations with emotional weight or bias. ...
A. 26 October 2010: He likes you being the way you are. If you mirror him in being closed up and unexpressive, this relationship would fade away and die. Remember that he is with you because of who you are and he does not wish for you to change.
I sense that per... (read in full...)
He isn't here for me the way I am for him! My grandma died and he hasn't been of any help at all!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for three months and our relationship is good and bad. we have taken breaks and end up missing each other too much and get back together before the break is over! but a few days ago my grandma died and he hasn't ...
A. 26 October 2010: You are both going through very difficult times right now and it is good that you are so understanding. Just take hold of him and tell him that you need him right now, you lost someone too, someone dear to you and you need him to be there for you ... (read in full...)
Save my relationship with my mother!
Q. My mother and I have a very stressful relationship. I reside in another city but due to a job change I will be moving back in w/ her, my brother, and her fiance. My mother and I, when apart, can often talk w/ out issue. However, when we are together ...
A. 26 October 2010: When you feel an argument is about to arise, what do you do? You should be stopping the conversation immediately and taking a deep breath to calm down. If she does not wish to stop the argument from occuring, then make it a one-sided argument, ... (read in full...)
My wife is a good mother and a good friend to me, but the sexual side to our marriage is dead!
Q. Hi Cupid I have been married for 15 years and have a wonderfull family. I love my wife and my kids. the problem however is that there is no sexual attraction in my heart towards my wife. It is not that I dont want to but the problem is that ...
A. 25 October 2010: You can try and take her out on a date or start exercising or trying new looks to make sure you are as attractive as you can be. Perhaps you could try different things, try role playing when you DO try to have sex. Try something new and something ... (read in full...)
I have been called a "wasp" - what does that mean?
Q. if someones calls you a wasp what does that mean?...
A. 25 October 2010: Tisha-1 is probably right but then again, I am assuming he does not know about the White Anglo-Saxon Protestants or he was not thinking about that at the time.
The person in question might have even meant that in a more metaphorical sense, h... (read in full...)
I felt like an object again!
Q. Hi Aunts. I am in some urgent need for advice here.Hope you can help me. Sadly I carry a very traumatic past on my shoulders. A few years back I was kidnapped and raped by an acquaintance and for a long time I was nothing but a walking zombie. I ...
A. 25 October 2010: Words are far more than just letters combined. Each word has meaning behind it, far deeper than anything else. Words can do more than anything material ever could, they can shatter a heart or heal a broken soul.
When he tells you that he likes yo... (read in full...)
If I live in his place then I guess we can't date???
Q. I met a new man a month or two ago and have met up with him about 3 or 4 times. I really like him and have been really excited about seeing him each time. We spent Sunday together, had a lovely day outdoors and then to the pub and then to have ...
A. 25 October 2010: You have only known each other for two or three months and he is already wondering whether or not you would move in with him? I have absolutely no idea how that would have happened but he does seem to really like you. I would still be suspicious ... (read in full...)
Does fighting make a relationship stronger?
Q. I have a problem. My gf and I have been fighting quite a lot recently, and we always say were sorry, but the fights get worse and warse, is it true that fighting makes relationships stronger? Because she is giving hints that she wants to give up on ...
A. 25 October 2010: Who on Earth told you that fighting makes ANYTHING stronger? When anger is one of the world's biggest problems, when it often leaves people hurt and weeping, why would you ever think that fighting makes a relationship stronger? No it does not so, if ... (read in full...)
Was he feeling guilty?Or..?
Q. My bf and I arranged our first weekend together in ages. He later told me he'd have to spend the first evening at his friend's birthday cos he felt bad for not going. I was a bit sad but understood and told him to go etc. He came home early though ...
A. 25 October 2010: One of two things could have occured. The first, he used that as an excuse to get out of the party early to go and see you OR you are right and he did feel guilty. That is what I think might have happened, but, I do not know him so only you can ... (read in full...)
15 and pregnant...parents don't know..
Q. I am 15 and 2 months pregnant.. i have told my boyfriend of 9 months this and he is happy but scared like me. but i have a big problem. my parents do not know and his don't either. and this baby doesn't belong to my boyfriend. i started seeing ...
A. 25 October 2010: Why not tell them all together. It involves all of them and after you tell them, your parents will no doubt keep a close eye on your current boyfriend, you just have to make sure that this is who you want to raise your child with.
Invite your boy... (read in full...)
Could something so great really be real? Do I take the risk and maybe regret it or take the safe route and possibly regret it? Title
Q. I need some advice... I'm married...have been for a few years. My husband is a good guy in that he takes good care of me, I don't have to work or worry about money and our lives are pretty easy and simple, our families get along and my parents l...
A. 24 October 2010: I did not even want to bother reading the rest of it, after you described the 'glowing' comments from even his ex's, I literally wanted to jump up at my computer screen and yell out "GET WITH THIS MAN ALREADY!". To hell with the risk, give up ... (read in full...)
Biggest age gap you've ever seen?!
Q. Hi, ok. are u sitting down people? I seriously need a word of advice..i've fallen in love. madly, deeply inlove. And this man is in love with me, but we have to keep our relationship secret because we are afraid of what people might think. We ...
A. 24 October 2010: You should relax. I am more appalled by the Playboy Bunnies living in the mansion, than I am of this particular relationship. Like I tell all who are worried about their age difference, it is your choice, if you are happy and if he is happy, that is ... (read in full...)
I felt like an object again!
Q. Hi Aunts. I am in some urgent need for advice here.Hope you can help me. Sadly I carry a very traumatic past on my shoulders. A few years back I was kidnapped and raped by an acquaintance and for a long time I was nothing but a walking zombie. I ...
A. 24 October 2010: I know that perhaps whatever I say, will hardly ease your pain, but I felt that perhaps I should at least try.
When you write about how you feel about this, you are not over reacting but I feel as though there should be a spark of hope within y... (read in full...)
I want to ask him if we are a couple or FWB
Q. Ive been seeing my big brothers friend. At first my brother didnt know, but now its out in the open everyone knows. But now Im confused. We spend alot of time together. I see him almost everyday, he calls everyday, we text throughout the day. And I ...
A. 24 October 2010: Well do you have sex a lot? Say, every time you see each other perhaps? If not, this is not a 'Friends With Benefits' relationship, this is simply a regular relationship. What concerns you? Does he show you affections and signs that he does feel ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend left me because I miscarried
Q. ok, where do i start. i guess it all started 4 years ago. I was with my first boyfriend for ten months. he broke up with me and 2 weeks later he was with my best friend. i lost the 2 of them. my other best friend left too. i was so alone. then came ...
A. 24 October 2010: I wish to start out by saying that you are strong for having been able to meet someone after what happened to you and there is a point to your life.
You need to reach out and go to a rape crisis center until you KNOW your shattered soul has been... (read in full...)
Can anyone explain this weird phenomenon?
Q. Can anyone explain this weird phenomenon? When I was single I had barely gotten any female attention. Now that I'm not single anymore, it's like suddenly they are lining up to hit on me, seduce me, even try to kiss me. Okay mostly they are drunk ...
A. 24 October 2010: Just to clarify, I used the assumption of marriage as an example, if you are not married, they could still see your girlfriend and think the same thing.
And what do you mean it takes all your willpower? Are you saying that you are struggli... (read in full...)
Can anyone explain this weird phenomenon?
Q. Can anyone explain this weird phenomenon? When I was single I had barely gotten any female attention. Now that I'm not single anymore, it's like suddenly they are lining up to hit on me, seduce me, even try to kiss me. Okay mostly they are drunk ...
A. 24 October 2010: Here is what I think happens. It is not just physical factors that attracts women, we all know that. Something my sister told me was that for some odd reason she found good husbands sexually appealing (she said it did not matter whose husband it ... (read in full...)
Bennefits of Porn
Q. Hi: I have read a lot of negative things at forums about the dangers and evil of PORN (OMG) and wish to offer my perspective on Porn. When I got caught up in Porn, it was not because something was missing in my current marriage. I just liked ...
A. 23 October 2010: Porn is never healthy. Ever. Pornography itself is a vile form of what some claim to be 'art' if it is even possible to call it such a thing. There is nothing artistic about any of it, nor is it sensual or helpful in any way. Food for the lust ... (read in full...)
Hotel employee keeps hitting on me!
Q. I am staying a season at a bed and breakfast in a very small rural community. The innkeepers' 20 year-old son works for his parents doing odd jobs around the place (maintenance, shuttle driving, etc.), so I have to deal with him pretty often. Every ...
A. 23 October 2010: I suppose you could always try to sit down and just talk to him about it. Show him that you clearly are not comfortable with the way he is behaving around you. Ask him why he wishes to 'hang out' with you so badly and then try one last time to ... (read in full...)
This site makes me feel worse, not better!
Q. I recently learned of this site via some friends, as 3 months ago I went through a very bad break-up with The Only Woman I ever loved and still love. And, with my recent introduction to and utilization of this site, I have found that it has only ...
A. 23 October 2010: You need to apologize to her and tell her that you did not mean what you said and that it is killing you inside knowing that you ever did say those things to her. Try and work something out, anything and everything is possible, especially the ... (read in full...)
I told him I quit my escort job and now he wants to date me!
Q. We met about a year ago in strip club where I was working. He tipped me good and told me that he want to meet me outside of the club. So I gave him my number. He knew I was escorting so he asked to meet. I really liked him so i went to see him. I e...
A. 23 October 2010: But it seems as though he has already accepted you. Just enjoy your date with him, let him treat you like a princess and make you feel beautiful. If there is that sort of spark between you, both of you will be happy regardless of whatever happened. ... (read in full...)
I have a 30% chance of living so he dumped me for his ex
Q. I fell for this man, he was everything to me. I was diagnosed with cancer, which is spreading to my lungs...I have a 30% chance of getting through it...but when I saw messages on Kellen* phone (I was using it because mine was broken) I noticed ...
A. 23 October 2010: Maybe he does love you and he dumped you because, when he realized that you had a 30% chance of living (which is actually still quite a lot), he would be in deep agony if (god forbid) you pass away. Perhaps he realized he could not bare that pain.
... (read in full...)
Hotel employee keeps hitting on me!
Q. I am staying a season at a bed and breakfast in a very small rural community. The innkeepers' 20 year-old son works for his parents doing odd jobs around the place (maintenance, shuttle driving, etc.), so I have to deal with him pretty often. Every ...
A. 23 October 2010: You have to go to his parents and show them the text messages he sent you. Proof that you have tried to be as nice as you could have been but he just will not back down. You cannot let this kid behave like this, not just for you but for any other ... (read in full...)
He asked me to be his FWB buddy and I said yes because I love him!
Q. Okay. I'm 14 and I'm in love with one of my best friends (guy). He knows and he says he loves me too. I have known him for ages and we went out for a while too. Then we decided to just be best friends again but we are what he calls ' fuck buddies ' ...
A. 23 October 2010: You are far too young to get involved in such an intricate web of emotion and physical closeness. Being a teenager, there is already more emotion that you can handle. I know you probably feel strongly about him but I suggest that you let him down ... (read in full...)
My husband said I deserved to get cancer ...
Q. I recently had a breast cancer scare and thankfully have just found out that whilst I'm Ill it's not cancer... Phew!! But my husband was really werid and uncaring through the whole thing and the final thing was when the results came back he said " w...
A. 23 October 2010: Why are you still married to this man? You should have left the moment he refused to support you, the moment he refused to hold you when you were scared.
Your daughter deserves a better father and you definitely deserve a better husband. One thin... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I still have nightmares of being sexually abused?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, my boyfriend and I were talking about our relationship this morning and he asked me what my first time was like. He's my first lover and I didn't know how to answer. It took him four different tries to really...do everything ...
A. 23 October 2010: If he loves you, he will not leave you. Instead, he will be there to hold you and he will understand. You have no idea how relieved I was when you wrote that you managed to save your virginity, it means that though you have been wronged, you have ... (read in full...)
I'm ashamed for people to know that I'm attracted to big women!
Q. Hi, Over the last couple of years I have been very attracted to big women but havent told anyone about it. Its my deepest secret and I have a huge problem with it. I am attracted to all women but there is just something about a big woman that m...
A. 23 October 2010: You have no need to be ashamed. There are worse things to be attracted to. Enjoy being who you are.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Married co-worker keeps staring at me
Q. Hello. I am 30 and work in IT. I am married and have a seven year old son. I have always been faithful to my wife (and any previous partners) and will continue to remain. I am trying to figure out what to do about a married female co-worker...
A. 23 October 2010: It is noble of you to stay that faithful to your wife. You cannot control what this woman is thinking or what she is feeling, all you can do is ignore all the given signs. In the end, it does not matter if she is giving you hints because it is not ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother I am addicted to porn?
Q. I watch a lot of porn and I know I should not but I do because I'm addicted. Should I tell my mom so she can block it? Or do you no ways to become unaddicted ?! Please help!...
A. 23 October 2010: You can because it would help a lot. If she blocks it, there is always the chance that you would find a way to unblock it in your unsatiable urge for such things. What you also need to do is tame your own body. It will be hard but it is necessary. ... (read in full...)
My marriage is such a mess!
Q. How can I get past this, or should I even keep trying? My husband of 21 years had to fly to Texas because my father in law was dying. I had to remain home because of extra expenses of me and the kids. My husband shared a hotel room with his brother, ...
A. 23 October 2010: It was a mistake, he took a chance at ecstatic pleasure as a way to forget about the pain he felt when his father died. Seeing a life end is always a torment in some way, even for those who think themselves strong against it. Do not hate him for it, ... (read in full...)
I left a bad relationship with a now deceased ex and I'm troubled by my feelings
Q. I left my fiance in 2006 for a guy who I thought was great. At first everything was great, then came the excessive drinking and drug use. I wasn't one to do drugs, but I did end up doing them with this guy. After 3 mos together I caught him ...
A. 23 October 2010: He payed the ultimate price and it was his own malevolent existence that took his life from him. You were there to love him and in rejecting that purity you had in you and trying to mutilate it, he also rejected his own divine right to live. Karma. ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be jealous or envious of others?
Q. Is it okay to be a envy/jealous of someone? I have been feeling very envy /jealous of celebrites and models and other people. I feel like the are so beautiful and that they got everything. I know that being jealous isn't good for the health. ...
A. 23 October 2010: I would say that it is alright to feel that way, it just means that you are growing as a person. But it is not something you should encourage.
You realize of course that the celebrities themselves were not born with all of that success, at first... (read in full...)
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