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writes: Have you ever noticed how "girlfriends" tend to be pretty average looking? I mean, think of your guy friends' girlfriends, the ones they've been with for 3-6 years... they're usually not drop dead gorgeous... Meanwhile, a lot of beautiful women, while have no trouble getting a date, are often single. Do you think it's becaues pretty girls can be demanding and therefore no guy is willing to put up with it for long? Or do you think that when a guy looks at a hot girl, he's only thinking of one thing... How exactly does a relationship form? Between ages 17 and 25... how do things develop? I real relationship that lasts years. Does it start with a first date? Or just hanging out? Maybe even with a hook up? And how do you know this is girlfriend material...someone you want to be with, give a title to "girlfriend." Is it chemistry and pheremones? The type of situation where--you can't put your finger on it, you just FEEL it? Or are there rules...like, if she does this (sexually) too early she's permenantly restricted to bootycall status? How long before you know that this will be an important person? What are early-on dealbreakers? Does it have to do with how laidback she is in the beginning? About how often you call, etc... or are there some girls who could do anything they wanted and it wouldn't change your feelings about them? How long does it usually take to reach girlfriend/boyfriend status and how is the subject broached? Do girlfriend-material type of girls make the guy wait for sex (including oral) until exclusivity is proposed, or are those days gone and do we now relax and let things happen naturally.... sex may preceed "relationship" status but that doesn't mean the latter won't come...? I don't expect anyone to answer all of these questions, just the ones you want...
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI got it...... "What makes a girl 'girlfriend' status"?
A guy falling in love with her and declaring her his girlfriend. That's it. No special formula, not specific type. There's a shoe for every foot.
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male
reader, Atar Snowpaw  +, writes (20 October 2010):
No not all guys think with there penis when they see a hot girl. For me a girl's personality is what makes her gf material. For my best guy friend's gf preference it's the boob size. My point is every male is different.
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female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 hmmm... Well my very soon to be hubby often tells me that im the most beautiful girl in the world. Lol. He'll refer to others as hot.. Max. He reckons beautiful, gorgeous etc are only ever directed at me as he doesnt see any other woman in that way. I say its because he's putting in personality, but he reckons not. Personally i think most girls he says are hot are generally quite bitchy or up themselves.. (well some of them) Anyway, we were friends for about a yr (both in other relationships) we broke up with the ppl we were with around the same time, and were all living together with friends for a bit, and kinda hooked up then started dating, and now we're engaged. We weren't exactly fwb's but for a few weeks we weren't technically dating either. As for knowing that we were meant to be together, it was more a feeling. Within months of dating we were joking about getting married etc and a few years on, we actually are! There was always an attraction between us even when we were just friends, but we never admitted this until we were single. I dont think there's a particular trait that makes someone girlfriend material. I think if you're right for each other things will progress correctly..
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female
reader, EtTuBrute +, writes (20 October 2010):
 I'll try to give you a few answers based on my experiences.
Relationships can start a number of ways. The usuals are just hanging out, as friends, or a first date. The beginning of a relationship is the period where you are getting to know someone. Connections develop as you learn about the other person.
I do know that relationships rarely, if ever, start with hooking up. That's not the way to start a something that will last a long time.
About earning the status of being a bootycall. If you don't respect yourself, the guy won't either. So, if you sleep with him the first night you meet then he's going to label you as easy. Most girls that are labeled bootycalls never turn into anything more.
I agree with Cerberus_Raphael about there not being a set definition for what is girlfriend material. Each person is unique so their wants and needs will be unique too.
The term "pretty" is also relative too. I'm a size 16 and my guy thinks I'm beautiful. (We've been together for a year now.) He'd probably laugh if anyone referred to me as average because he loves me and he feels I'm beautiful. Whenever jealously spurs, he tells me that he would choose me over some model anyday.
Long lasting relationships are not based on looks, they're based on personality. (Or at least I would hope so.) Looks will fade eventually and they can only hold a guys interest for so long.
The main points of my advice is to respect yourself and remember that everything is relative.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 Girlfriends tend to be average looking...and their boyfriends too! I mean, how many drop-dead gorgeous people ( men AND women ) do you see around in real life ?... I think it maybe true though that exceptionally good looking girls get less dates one would expect. Lots of men are much less self confident than they show and feel a bit intimidated by beauty- they have qualms in approaching a VGL girl because they assume they 'll be rejected, and/or in maintaining a relationship with her because , knowing the VGL has a wider selection of wanna-be "takers " ,deep down they feel she would sooner or later look for an upgrade in partnership.
As for how a relationship begins and developss, there are so many possible variables in circumstances and indivual mentalities that I think it's impossible to work out a general law.
The only thing I am pretty sure is that is close to impossible going from FWB status to girlfriend. Once you are an FWB, you are stuck in your role.
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reader, Natalie:)  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 I don't believe looks play a massive part, because no one can be ina relationship with some boring shallow girl with a boring early teenage attitude to how life should treat you becauseof your looks.
The most attractive woman I know is not conventionally attractive (at all) yet has an amazing personality and guys love her!! And it's great to see!
To answer your q about the make up thing - yes, makeup makes you look like you aren't individual, are very vain and as if you are always looking to go out and pullir something. That just makes people look like the equivalent of a "player" which means the guys who go for her DO only want one thing
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reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 I do not believe this to be completely true. There was this one girl in fact, I went to school with. She was the most breathtakingly beautiful girl I had ever seen and she was not demanding and she was in a relationship with a boy for three years and they were extremely happy together. The only reason they broke up was because he had to go away to Uni and she was still in secondary school. You just have to meet the right person with all the right intentions. You are right of course when you say that a lot of guys are only after one thing, I say a lot, not all. If this is because you have had bad experience, just keep searching because not all guys are the same. There is no right 'girlfriend' material. I am pretty sure as long you are a woman, you already have the beginnings of the right 'girlfriend material' because different guys have different tastes.
I hope that helps.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): What makes a girl "girlfriend material"? For me, it's a sense of balance. And what I mean by that is someone who's not an extreme of any trait. For example:
- Not clingy, but not overly independent
- Sexual, but not side-walk sally
- Can feel comfortable in sweats and a T-shirt, yet can get dressed up when the occassion calls for it
- Someone who enjoys exercising and fitness, yet not a crazy calorie counting health nut
- Someone who is nice and kind, but not a total pushover
- Someone who is relatively smart and aware of current events, but not a stuck up bookworm who corrects everyone
etc.etc.
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