A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I was wondering if you could help with with an issue I have been having. I have finally decided to take control over my health, and wish to start eating much better, exercising, with the goal of getting fitter and losing weight. However, I find that it is nearly impossible to achieve these things as the people I live with are very sensitive about eating and food issues, and if I refuse anything, or suggest something healthier they get insulted or start telling me off for worrying about things like that. All of our social events involve eating or drinking, in some respect, and even though I can refuse sometimes, or try to make do with healthier options wherever possible, it makes it hard to stick to a plan, and I can't keep turning every opportunity down without cutting myself off from the group entirely. Even at home, although my parents encourage the idea of getting healthier, I have the same problem where people will keep insisting on food until I have to just accept it to be polite and keep the peace. I'm really struggling to find a solution and was wondering if anyone had any ideas? very much appreciated! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 if you were allergic to these foods and eating them made you deathly ill would they still force you and would you still be so ready to let them?
that's what you have to treat it like. eventually folks will learn that you will say NO..
I had gastric bypass 2.5 years ago and I had no choice but to say "NO" to many things... they would have made me very sick or put me in great pain... so I said NO and I meant it and folks accepted it.
Just say NO and mean it and if they get upset well then that's ON THEM...
my boyfriend is a feeder... and even he will accept NO when I dont want something... you know your body you know what will and will not make you feel good...
I find that when WE are strong in our own resolve folks know this and respect it.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 Be firm. Be assertive. No means no. If you find that people around you impact your health then I think that is a sign you are too dependent and ingrained with people around you, allowing them to affect you to such a degree that it takes a toll on your health and well-being. You need to become more independent and stand your ground. You shouldn't be needing everyone else's support, you should be able to take care of your own health on your own. If you give in to group pressure then your problem isn't group pressure, your problem is that you are not assertive enough. You don't take control of your life, you TRY and then you fail because you let others make decisions for you. Stop trying to be in control of your health. Take control. It's your body, treat it as YOU wish, and screw what others think. If they get upset because you wont stuff yourself with unhealthy foods then let them get upset. That's THEIR problem, not yours. If your friends only want to talk to you if you eat like a pig then they aren't really friends of yours anyway.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): First of all...well done for making a change for the better. And thats what it is. Change! Some people hate change and will resist it but dont let that stop you from reaching your personal goals. There will probably be one or two people that make the most fuss at you for turning down food, so take them aside and reassure them that you arent going to waste away and thier food is wonderful. BUT you need support from them to reach your target weight for your own health and happiness. If you can get them `onboard` by opening thier eyes to the fact that you could really do with thier support it will make things much easier for you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): It's a tough situation! What you need to do is stick to your plans. Don't give in ever. If people get upset then its their problem. At the end of the day you are wanting to do something about your eating habits and you will feel better by sticking to your plan.We can all splurge now and then so you can give in now and then, but I think the best advice I can give is to pack/prepare your own food so others arent forced to cater for you, and if people get upset tell them straight out that you dont mean to offend but you are wanting to stick to your diet. Another option is stop hanging with them so often, retreat to your room, or go out elsewhere. Of course this seems rude and you probably want to spend time around them but in time they will realise they are putting you down by not letting you make your own food choices and will realise to enjoy your company, they need to accept your decisions. I say go with the first suggestion first though!
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 I've faced the same problem too.
I had ended up gaining a lot of weight because of my food habits..I used to literally live on Coke and eat junk food all day long. Anyway, I finally decided enough is enough and if I don't take charge of myself now, I'm just going to let myself go and ruin a perfectly good body and my health.
However, it becomes slightly awkward in social situations, when people insist that I "eat well" and that "one glass of coke wont hurt". Its hard to get others to realize how serious one is about weight loss and health. Thankfully my family is very supportive and they never make it difficult for me!
The thing is, you just have to be rigid and just be calm and say, "Thank you so much for your care and while I would love to eat like I used to, I cant, for the sake of my health. Please try and understand I'm not being a prude nor is it a new-found holier than thou attitude! I just have to lose weight and every little bite counts!"
If you stick to your decision, they will surely understand.
All the best to you. Here's to healthy eating!!
...............................
|
