A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am interested in a 17 year old girl who seems to like me but is a little reserved.She is an only child. Her mother is encouraging the relationship actively. She even told me that sex was okay if I loved her. What is mother up to? I find it a little disconceting. Has anyone come accross this sort of thing? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 The only logical explanation to this situation is that she is putting on a facade. She wants to test if you're only after her daughter for sexual reasons. Another more cynical interpretation would be that she is trying to see if you're having sex in order to report you to the cops, as her daughter is still a minor in many states and could result in you being registered as a sex offender.
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Her mother is encouring you to have sex with her 17 year old daughter? Okay......
Your not wrong in thinking something strange is going on, as normanally parents are trying to do the exact opposite when there kids are that age.
The most reasonable explanation i think is the one honeypie suggested. She just wanted to let you know that it is okay if you wanted to get jiggy with her and she wouldn't come after you with a meat clever if you did.
However i would be careful as even though it is the most reasonable explanation it might not be the correct one. You know your girlfriend best do you think she could be up to something? Do you think she is even aware about what her mother said?
Maybe you should just speak to your girlfriend about it and ask what her mum might of meant by it as it freaked you out little. Feed off her body langage if you think she is acting strange then you know something really isn't right and i would get out of there as soon as.
P.s for all of the other aunts and uncles that are not from the UK. The legal age of consent is 16 years old, so it is perfectly legal because she isn't classed as a minor, just so your aware nothing dodgey is going on.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Something's definitely wrong. This isn't normal by any stretch of imagination.
If the mother is encouraging you to have sex with her, how can you be sure that this hasn't happened with any other guy?
Steer clear of this mess. Nothing seems right about this
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): Yah. It came right from the Mother, to you?
I would be very suspicious because if a twenty something was sniffing around my 17 year old, I'd kick his pedo backside after shoving my fist up his backside and making him eat it. *halo*
In the end (hehe) I say if daughter is 'reserved' - stay away because its the daughters right not Moms and it matters ONLY what daughter feels and thinks about it all.
Also, what if Mom is a controlling shrew and is trying to lure you as there may be financial gain in it for her?
Sounds messed for sure.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 I think it's totally ok. Here in Holland that's pretty normal behaviour: the mother would probably rather it was considered 'ok' and supported by her than having a situation where her daughter had to hide it from her. It's common for teenagers to be very open about their sexual behaviour to their parents here. And as a result we have much lower rates of teenager pregnancy, as well as less sexual partners with longer relationships.
Her mother must think you are an ok guy too. And she did say 'if you love her', which is the right reason in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): I was 16 and my oh was 24 when we met and we are still together 10 years later - age is just a number but I do agree her mum is acting strange, have you asked your gf about her mum?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Are you wealthy?
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Not sure what the mother is up to but it is definitely weird and creepy - you are right to be concerned!
My only thoughts are that maybe the 17 year old has never had a boyfriend before (if he is reserved like you say) and maybe her mum is happy there is a man showing interest so she is encouraging the relationship. But even still, to encourage you to sleep with her daughter is very wrong. If you are 22-25 then that means the age gap is 5-8 years, and she has only just turned legal - her mum is very wrong to encourage you to be having sex with her.
I dont really know what to advise here, in my personal opinion the age gap is too big because she is only 17, she is still a teenager whereas you are a grown man. I presume she is still in school as well? You are both at such different stages in life so it is highly unlikely that this will ever work. And then if you add the crazy mother into the equation, I really dont think this is the sort of relationship you want to be persuing. Maybe look elsewhere.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (30 November 2011):
What, so her mum said to you "It's fine to have sex with her"? That sounds very weird.
Did you hear this so-called fact from the 17yr old, or the mum?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 November 2011):
 That sounds downright creepy.
Maybe, she wants you to know that she doesn't think it's wrong for the two of you to have sex at some point.
Listen to your gut.
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