A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have 7-year old wife to whom I have loved somuch and trust but later I realized she had had hidden lot of past history, for which I have gone through the hell and got fed up with thinking about but not able to leave her and go away and I had many time orguements(quarrels)at last I have come a conclusion to be with her as well as get another girl for marriege so that I may become happy with new one as well as old wife. Is it possible? I have already decided show same love to both of them (2wife) Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Interesting Point Chalice makes, having someone to take the heat off of her may be what your first wife wants... maybe she wants out of the marriage and does not know how to tell you?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 December 2011):
 One other problem: Unless you marry sisters, you end up with TWO Mothers-in-law, as well.....
A guy would have to be CRAZY to incur TWO Mothers-in-law.... unless, of course, one or both of them were HOT and had no scruples about fooling around with him!!!!!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): Hmm.When I was in my second marriage, I actually liked the idea of having another woman in the home. She could meet the Hubbys Physical needs, and I take care of the kids. And when I wanted alone time, out of the house and at the movies. IF I wanted some sexual intimacy, would take it from time to time.Of course I was falling out of love with my Husband so I was really thinking it was an ideal situation.If I think about my BF and if we HAD to have another woman as a wife; I would have to get along with her. Not feel so threatened by her. Basically I would be the 'FIRST' Wife, meaning I get to make the big decisions with my BF when we are married. My judgement and wisdom would matter over second wife. This way the house would not be divided. Second wife would have to know and abide by rules. As soon as there was is a whiff of contention from her, out she goes. Hubby would support this. Just how it would be. I'm totally an ALPHA female so would need a woman who is not so Alpha for it to work.I don't think having another wife in the home will make things good though. You can't run or hide, you will have to fix whatever it is that is going on BEFORE inviting in another woman into the home. The home has to have a united front or it will just add chaos.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): Now then, you love her. You love your children. You don't want to cheat her (??!!). I assume she loves you too. What else you want to lead a happy marriage life with her? What's wrong with you?
Alternatively, what if she wants to marry a 2nd husband while keeping you too??
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (3 December 2011):
 Many may have 2wives in India, but many men don't. You say you are angry with her past, so how can you promise to treat her and the new wife the same. Won't you be more please with the new wife and angry with the old wife? Also you don't want to betray the kids. But won't they feel betrayed when another woman comes into the house and you start kissing her and then new children come that do not belong to their mother.Is India really like this, only what the man wants is important. You don't ask your wife, you don't ask your children, you just bring a new woman in the house and they have to live with them no matter if they like them or not?In the UK, we have many Muslims and we have many Indian people, and none of them behave or think like this. If your wife says NO! Will you still bring a new woman into the house, and make her unhappy for the rest of her life?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): I still think that if you get two wives she should be allowed to get two husbands - anything else and you are just fooling yourself that this is fair or equal. I don't care how many other men have done it, unless women get an equivalent deal then they are being treated like a commodity for improving the man's happiness.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): The reason I want to continue to be with her is I don't want to cheat her for the promise I made of holding hand forever but by her permission I am doing this as many have 2 wives in India and another reason is I love my 2children very much as well as she, so we don't want them to feel betrayed
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): ha ha ha no one will have 7 yr old wife! but had been with 7yrs and in India many are with two wives and same love for both
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 December 2011):
AS if ONE wife isn't enough of a problem, you want to DOUBLE UP????? What were you smoking when you wrote this??
Reminds me of the raffle that the Chicago Cubs had a few years ago.... Winner got 2 tickets to a future Cubs game... Second place was 4 tickets to s future Cubs game!!!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): The english language is probaably the most difficult to learn on the planet because it is so frought with double meanings and words that are spelled differently but pronunced the same like; like to and two, so giving the benifit of the doubt, i'd guess that this person doesn't have a 7-year old wife but has been maried 7 years(which can seem like an eternity) and wants someone to say it's fine to marry yet another woman. well, laws vary from country to country and state to state but, why would anyone want the hassel of having two spouses whether they be male or female? It's difficult enough for two people to find happiness together.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 December 2011):
I assumed he meant he had a wife for seven years not a seven year old wife... which would give new meaning to the terms 7 year itch would it not?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): Whenever I read any post from India there always seems to be something odd going on in terms of the equality between men and women and it comes out in different ways, usually with the men being able to do pretty much whatever they want and with the woman always being blamed or getting the worst dealFor example, and forgetting for a moment the question of whether it is legal, how would you feel if your first wife started saying "I want a second husband, you have never ever understood what I went through as a sensitive young female and you expect me to behave only according to worn out traditions. I want a man who is open minded and able to understand that until our politics change women will always be blamed, and who will stop blaming me and stop being so selfish. You are no good for me as a husband, I want another one in order to be happy with you.How would you feel then?
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 @ eyes wide open- I am!! That's the first thing that caught my eye!!
...............................
A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 @eyeswideopen - I am fairly certain its a language error. He's been with his wife for 7 years. I really hope he wasn't disturbed by his 7 year old wife's sexual past.... And hopefully he is not admitting online that he is married to a 7 year old.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 December 2011):
 Hey you guys, isn't anyone concerned about the fact that he has a "7 year old wife"?
...............................
A
female
reader, hpoco +, writes (2 December 2011):
Regardless of the legality, I would divorce your first wife and if you still care for her, just help her with alimony. Provide for her for some time and help her to become financially independent. Then, start fresh with someone else. Marriage works best with two people, in my opinion. With three, there will always jealousy and battles. Do the right thing for your first wife and let her go, and help her get started in a new life. Then, find someone you love and begin your life again.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): LOL. To have two wives at the same time you have discovered VERY IMPORTANT findings for your own excuse to betray her love and care she has given you so far. Why not? you can as many as you want. As long as you are ready to confront the horrible consequence.
I like to know who your would be second wife is. Have you appointed historians, FBI and CIA to detect how her past was? Don't you think you should search for their previous lives too if you believe in rebirth? Is she 100% clean and perfect AS YOU? At the same time I wonder how long it will take you to find out you are no longer like your 2nd OBJECT(sorry! I mean wife)and jump to the 3rd one. Sorry for being harsh. I don't think you have any love for your wife. I wonder when this world become a beautiful place to live!!!!!!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 December 2011):
I can't say it better than what chigirl said....
IF it's legal and your first wife is ok with it and you can support love and care for both of them equally then you can have two at once. Even in countries where polygamy is legal, I believe it’s said that you can’t have more wives than you can support in a similar manner…
If you are unhappy with the current wife (you say you have come to the conclusion that to be happy with her you need another wife as well) what makes you think that having a second wife will make you happy with the first one.
Personally, I think that if you are unhappy with the current wife you should do both of you a favor and end the current marriage and find a marriage that makes you happy. You can’t fix a broken relationship by adding another person to it… It does not work in open marriages, swing lifestyle marriages or in marriages that have children in hopes of making them stronger….
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 December 2011):
Think Muslims can have 3 wives, but check the laws of your country. But having 3 (or 2) wives is not as easy as that. According to the Koran, you must treat each wife totally equally. If you kiss one, you must kiss the other, if you give one gold, the other should get the same amount of gold. If you love one, you must love the other wife the same way, not more and not less. Worst thing is when your wives start having children and you got to treat everyone the same and try to keep things peaceful. Or when the women hate each other and keep nagging you to dump the other wife, and you get stuck in the middle.Most men find having 3 (or 2) wife's and treating them equally much to stressful and expensive. Especially when the wives often become friends and join up to push you to the bottom of the list. That's the worst marriage ever, two women just like your wife, working together to make your life hell.Check the laws in your country. Check your Koran for rules about how to treat many wives, then go and get your wives permission. It's her marriage as well. If she doesn't want a second wife she will run off, or she will cry and destroy your house and make everyone unhappy.You are sound like a lazy man. What if you have two wives in the house making argument. Why don't you just try and fix the marriage you already have, it's much, much easier. Two wives in a marriage often is hell for the man.PS: What happens if the new wife also has a past hidden history, what will you do then, have more arguments, or just go out and find wife number 3? I don't think you are thinking sensibly.
...............................
A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 As Chigirl said, you need to find out if it is legal in India before you think any further on this matter. If it is legal then you need to discuss it with your wife before looking for someone, it has to be a joint decision because you will all be living together. Look into the laws in India first, otherwise you may be commiting a crime and you don't want that.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 The question is rather: is it legal in India to have two wives? If it is not legal then you can go to prison for it. If it is legal then that is your decision to make together with your wife.
...............................
|
