A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I was wondering if you could advise me how to deal with this situation.Basically, I am in first year of university, living in halls in a flat with 5 other girls. We share a kitchen/ living area. I get on with them alright, but they arn't the kind of girls i'd immediatly trust, or choose to be best friends with, but they can be great fun and a total laugh at times. I never really go out with them much, as I do a lot of sport in an evening, or go to the gym, and when I do go out (which admittedly I do a lot) I always seem to go with people from my sports teams or people i've met on my course. I don't mean to exclude them, but with a small budget I can't go out all the time and just would rather go with people i'm close too! The atmosphere has also got a little tense as we're putting down deposits for houses next year, and i've opted to live with other people rather than them (they're all living together again).Anyway, the real problem is just a select few of them... they are incredibly messy when it comes to clearing dishes, and basically can never be bothered to wash their own. Whenever they run out, they simply take mine, use them, and leave them lying dirty on the side. Most of my stuff has been left out there for around 3 days now with congeling food on it, and I refuse to wash up their mess! But I literally have no plates or bowls now. It really gets to me! I am no clean freak either, but I don't find it hard to wash a plate after i'm done! I don't want to argue with any of them, or make them think i'm all bossy but it's really disgusting looking at a pile of plates. They also help themselves to any squash or cola I buy, which is extremly fustrating as its expensive and I don't have a lot of money!How can I bring this up with them? Whenever I suggest we wash up, I usually end up doing it all.... and even once i've washed them, i know they'll be borrowed again soon. Short of keeping everything in my room I don't know what I can do :/ help!
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 I agree with the poster who said that complaining only makes things worse in these situations, so here's what you can do.
For the last time, clean your plates and keep them in your room. Buy a packet of disposable paper plates and keep it in the kitchen. Just say that washing up dirty dishes is a pain sometimes, so you've got these for everyone to use. That's it. Let them use the disposable ones if they want, you take care of your own stuff and you wont even come across as bossy. You've actually done them a favour, so no one will complain. Once you do this, they will hopefully get the hint.
As for the cola and squash and any other stuff that you dont want them to use, keep it in your room. Most flat mates WILL borrow your stuff without giving it a second thought. Most people at uni have limited money to spend, so they use whatever they get.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 - Take masking tape, write your name on anything that's yours, and place the tape on your items. That doesn't work, then I would buy a mini fridge to keep in your room.
-Since they can't be bothered to wash their own plates (no roommates can), then I would keep your plates in your room.
You don't have to deal with them much longer. Next roommates you find, I would make sure they know how to clean up after themselves.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (28 November 2011):
Keep it in your room...dishes, cola, squash (?) anything and everything you don't want them to use.
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do or say that will get them to extend simple common courtesy to you.
I had to share a bathroom with two girl who lived in an adjoining room while at college and they would use all my toilet paper (and go without when I began to take the roll with me!), my soap, my shampoo and conditioner, and one of them even used my freaking razor when I left it!
Do what you can to make this easiest on you. You don't have to live with them much longer. Keep your chin up. Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2011): This is typical flat stuff, and it could be alot worse. A word of caution, in my experience complaining only ever makes things worse and results in arguments or petty revenge, and I'm sure you don't need any of that stress. Just wash your own stuff, and hide the plates etc that you use somewhere else, and try and hang in there until its time to move out, better luck next time!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2011): wash up your plates then keep them in your room or just tell them they can't use them, and make sure you're stern about it because they'll just take advantage all the time if you don't.
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A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (27 November 2011):
 I'm at uni too in my first year sharing a small kitchen with 4 other girls and 5 guys. We've sort of made everything thats not food~ plates, pots,cutlery etc communal so anyone can use each others. And we've also come up with a washing up/cleaning rota a couple of weeks ago after there was so much washing up left out. So far it seems to be working ok.Maybe you could suggest this idea? If this doesn't work, maybe you could sneak unwashed dishes into the persons room or outside it if its not dealt with~ and thn maybe they'll get the hint?
As for food/drinks, we have our own lockable lockers in the kitchen for stuff but i store a lot of this sort of stuff in my own room.
Good Luck ^_^
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