A
female
age
30-35,
*bbii_xxx
writes:well at this moment in time im very confused! I've been seeing this guy for a while now and i knew he had a bit of a strange past since the beginning! but he has told told me he used to film porn movies and has also had sex with porn stars... and i really don't know how to feel about this. it hasn't really changed my feelings towards him but i'm just a bit stunned.. how do i react to this?? xx
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abbii_xxx +, writes (29 November 2011):
Abbii_xxx is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you guys maybe i should talk to him about this stuff :/ xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): The thing about the porn industry is that most go into it because the majority are often adult survivors of sexual abuse/incest.
Also, just because they are encouraged to be tested regularly, doesn't mean they do. Even then, some agencies will cover up STIs as they see the people as products that make them money so often, transmitted infections occurs at a higher rate than reported.
Also, the money and that it can be made readily by means of sex could be a temptation to go back when in a finanical bind.
Overall, I suggest counselling as their may be some guilt and shame later down the road due to his porn jaunt as well as a doctors trip to a clinic to get tested.
Hope all works out!
...............................
A
female
reader, Abbii_xxx +, writes (29 November 2011):
Abbii_xxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys you really have helped me and opened my eyes and it hasn't changed my feelings towards me we have had a very detailed long conversation over the phone over this and he has made it clear that this was in the past and he was extremely desperate for money.. as weird as it is i love him so if he's willing to forget his past and concentrate on his future with me i'm happy :) xx thank you for all your help!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): No one has mentioned that he could have caught something?! My first thought, if this was true, would be to advise him to have a sexual health check and HIV test. I assume people in porn are meant to have these checks to keep everyone safe, but I would be doubtful until I saw proof otherwise.
Hopefully he will not ever go back to porn but it would be worth having a conversation about whether he would do it again or if it's something he regrets. Maybe he told you as he trusts you and regrets doing it in which case I guess he may need support to get away from those feelings and be able to have a loving relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 If he's saying the truth, then you have to look at it as someone who has made a very unconventional career choice and that's how his life has been.
If he's lying, then he's an ass who's getting cheap thrills out of this. Lying about something like this and that too such detailed lies...I would say he's pathetic and very creepy.
However, ultimately its all upto you. If it doesn't affect your feelings for him, then how does it matter?
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 You react honestly and listen to your heart. If your feelings have not changed and you believe that this new-found fact about him won't conflict with your happiness together with him, then you're good to go. If you think this part of his life is too much, make you feel very insecure, something you will really struggle with and not be able to forgive and forget - then maybe you should rethink your relationship with him.
Life happens. For guys - especially young (stupid) men, I'm sure doing a porn is a bit of an accomplishment. Maybe he needed the money. Maybe he was doing it to win a bet. Maybe he just got the opportunity to make porn and he took it. But his past is in his past. If he treats you well, you feel happy, loved and secure with him, if you trust him, and your feelings for him haven't changed since this came to light, then I wouldn't worry about this shady slice of his history.
That, at least, is my feeling on the matter! Good luck, sweet!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): How old is this man/guy?
I'd be concerned if he has suffers a form of delusions often.
...............................
|
