| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Whenever things go wrong, my girlfriend always blames me and its my fault!
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I have a problem here, the one I am not capable of resolving on my own. Me and my gf, we've been together for 3 years, living together for 7 months. Most of the time our relationship seems to work well, yet there are critica...
A. 17 March 2014: This is verbal and emotional abuse at its worst and you *have to* put a stop to it. If a girl were writing this about an abusive boyfriend then we would be screaming from the rooftops to get her to report him for abuse and cut off all contacts with ... (read in full...)
I am not allowed in his best friend's house and have to sit in the car!
Q. Hello everyone I need some advice. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. And we live together. But living together isn’t the problem. The problem is his mom and his best friend don’t like me at all. I’ve met the only once and ...
A. 15 March 2014: "I have to sit in the car his best friend says I’m not allowed in his house."
Seriously OP? Because that's how some insensitive people would speak about a dog and that too wouldn't be tolerated.
Why the hell are you tolerating this ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I'm studying so that I can avoid the 'nice neighbour' overdose?
Q. My landlady happens to be my neighbour too, so before Christmas I got her a nice snowflake to hang on her tree and a card...so a few days before I flew home, she invited me along with other expats to a lunch Christmas party...then after Christmas I ...
A. 5 March 2014: Talk about panopticon!! Phew! I too would get extremely uncomfortable with this kind of invasion and intrusion. My guess is that she sees you as someone who is a good listener and she just needs an audience whom she can air her views to and seeing ... (read in full...)
We were so in love then poof he's gone..
Q. At my recent works Christmas meal, our waiter gave me his number, I was flattered and decided to text him. The more we text to and from we found that we clicked almost instantly, he said he couldn't take his eyes off me at the meal and I was take...
A. 2 March 2014: OP there is *NOTHING* wrong or boring about you and don't ever say that again. Any guy in the world would be lucky to have you because you sound like a really nice person. You are honest about your feelings, you are trusting of people and you gave ... (read in full...)
Should I let this go?
Q. I'm absolutely fuming! Please read! Last night I went out to dinner for my friends birthday. There were 9 of us in total and a few friends of hers who I don't know. I wasn't feeling well as I had some work on my teeth and on tablets so I c...
A. 2 March 2014: I have a slightly different point of view from the general consensus.
Don't let it go. Ask your friend to tell her that she's just being nasty and you don't appreciate such snide comments about you and you are not going to take this lightly.... (read in full...)
All are blaming me for reporting what I had to. What are your thoughts on people be allowed to bring their children or baby to their workplace?
Q. What is everyone's opinion on people bringing their babies/ children to the work place? The reason I ask is because last week 1 of my colleagues, who is on maternity leave came in with her baby who is 7 months old. We work in a call centre and...
A. 23 February 2014: OP I don’t think you did anything wrong. I am SICK of wailing rugrats on flights, trains, restaurants and especially the workplace and more often than not, it’s the parents who are at fault for not disciplining the child or in the case of this ... (read in full...)
We are both single. He visits me, offers cuddles only. Does he want a relationship or not? Your thoughts?
Q. Hi im in a very confusing situation. I have known this man since last September i really like him but i cant tell if he wants to be with me or not. Every time i see him which is maybe once a month he comes to my place we watch a dvd he kisses and c...
A. 22 February 2014: Just ask him!! There are no problems here, neither of you are involved with other people, you like him and he obviously likes you...just ask him if he thinks there is any future to your relationship. I'm sure there is! ... (read in full...)
I cheated - is there any way to fix this?
Q. So I've been dating my boyfriend that's about 8 years older than me for over two years now. For the last six months or so, I feel like our relationship has been quite stale and stagnate. I have learned to accept this because he is in his 30s and I'm ...
A. 21 February 2014: You did what you had to do...no excuses now. You cant undo it, erase it or change it but you can end the relationship because I don't think any relationship that has cheating involved, is worth salvaging.
There is obviously something missing ... (read in full...)
I feel stuck and I would very much like your advice on how I can improve the quality of my life?
Q. I don't know where to begin. I feel empty inside. I don't have any friends and I've only been with a girl for like a month back when I was a freshman in college. Back when I was younger(I am 25 now), I use to blame all my problems on my identity as ...
A. 18 February 2014: What's wrong with being a Sikh? Why are you behaving like there's a huge stigma attached to your identity and origin? Be proud of who you are OP and never, EVER feel guilty or ashamed of who you are or where you come from, because there cant ever be ... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable with female coworker and husband
Q. I'm extremly uncomfortable with my husband and his female coworker/friend. I think she crosses to many boundries and doesn't see it. I'm constantly accusing him of cheating and its causing a wedge between us. He has other female friends that I'm ...
A. 15 February 2014: Sit your husband down and tell him calmly that this is just getting ridiculous and out of hand. If he is "just friends" with her as he claims, then this should be a no-brainer for him. If his friendship with this woman is making you uncomfortable ... (read in full...)
We're trying again, this time without it officially being a relationship, but he's wanting more than I'm comfortable giving
Q. I recently split with my boyfriend a month ago as the relationship was breaking down constant arguements and my lack of trust. I tried to sort it with him and he didn't show up and not a word was said. So I decided to end it. We met up a week later ...
A. 10 February 2014: Walk away OP. Don't punish yourself or him by pretending to be someone you're not comfortable being. The relationship didn't work the first time and it wont work now either. All I can say is, the timing is just terrible and ideally you should have ... (read in full...)
Has anyone had experience of a lump in the breast and found out later that it was not cancer? Just need some calming and reassuring please?
Q. Just wanted to say first, I have already been to the doctor and I am having tests run. Has anyone had any experience with finding a lump or something abnormal in their breast? I have found a lump recently and I am waiting on some test results ...
A. 10 February 2014: Yeah...my mum has. She found a lump and went straight to the doctor and got it checked. She was really scared (of course!!) and hadn't even told us about it...but it turned out it was just a fat deposit. Don't worry, it'll most likely be nothing to ... (read in full...)
I read my boyfriend's journal didn't like what I read but now I want to read it again!
Q. I'm usually not a snoop, I trusted my boyfriend when we were together, but I did something I'm ashamed of. I read his journal, and I didn't like what I read. It basically said his was unhappy with our relationship among other things, but nothing ...
A. 30 January 2014: Assume you read his journal and your worst fears come true. Now what? What will you do? Will you break up with him again? Will you hound him for details? Tell me honestly, what good can ever come out of this?
OP no one likes thinking about th... (read in full...)
Should I tell my guy that I slept with a friend while we were broken up?
Q. I'm in a messed up situation that I can't see out without losing my boyfriend who I have been with for three years. Basically, last September I had a miscarriage during my 9th week of pregnancy. We had only known for 2 weeks when I lost our baby...
A. 23 January 2014: If you're starting all over again on a clean slate, then you should tell him. You will always have the guilt in your mind if you don't and you never really know when your "friend" decides to change his mind, especially since he has/had feelings for ... (read in full...)
How do I stop these desires?
Q. After weeks of self help books reminding me I'm a strong independent woman and I'm beautiful and I don't need a man (which is all entirely true!!) I would normally take these 6 months in my early twenties to love being single with no attention ...
A. 17 January 2014: There is nothing wrong with desiring a man...its wrong if you curb it though! Why shouldn't you desire a man? What's not right here is what your sister says about you being stupid for wanting a guy. Work is undoubtedly important but what's that ... (read in full...)
My mother does not approve of my girlfriend!
Q. I am 25 year old male and I have a girlfriend who is 23 and has a 2 years old boy. My mother has huge hate against her and I need you guys to help me solve the problem... I went to Japan for 3 months and I met a girl(Half Filipina, Quarte...
A. 16 January 2014: The thing is, you are blinded by love and if anyone tries telling you anything even remotely against R, you will choose to turn a blind eye and believe just what you want to. If you ask me, the whole thing does sound a little questionable. You ... (read in full...)
Caught my Girlfriend answering ad on craigslist.
Q. I know it was deceitful but I created a fake ad on craigslist to see if my girlfriend would answer and she did. I did this once before and she answered and this was the second time. I replied back and pretended to this other guy and she flirted and ...
A. 15 January 2014: Do that if you must, but again, I don't see the point of confrontation if you know she's a cheat and a liar whom you don't want in your life. Remember, liars have a way with words and can manipulate situations and somehow make YOU look like the bad ... (read in full...)
Caught my Girlfriend answering ad on craigslist.
Q. I know it was deceitful but I created a fake ad on craigslist to see if my girlfriend would answer and she did. I did this once before and she answered and this was the second time. I replied back and pretended to this other guy and she flirted and ...
A. 15 January 2014: You're confused??!! What's to be confused about? She's a liar, a cheater and has no qualms about sending naked pics to a stranger which means she has no morals whatsoever or no boundaries. Do you really want such a person in your life? My guess is a ... (read in full...)
He is cheating on me emotionally with his ex what should I do in this situation?
Q. I am dating a guy from last 7 months. But I have recently discovered he’s been emotionally cheating on me with his ex. He broke up with his ex (as she only dumped her) nearly one year ago. Only after that he started hitting on me but now a days he ...
A. 11 January 2014: Wow! He couldn't be more brazen, could he? This guy doesn't love you OP, he's still into his ex and I doubt if he was ever over her in the first place. Walk out RIGHT NOW. Don't tolerate one more moment of his blatant disrespect and disregard for ... (read in full...)
Girls, what is your own preference with regard to your own pubic hair? Full bush, trimmed, landing strip or completely bald?
Q. Dear Moderator, I went through the questions. Most are what about what the other sex likes but I can't find one where the women answered for themselves. I shave myself smooth because I like it that way myself (not because my man requested it). Jus...
A. 9 January 2014: I used to shave myself completely bare but my fiance is one of those rare men on the planet who loves a full bush and he's forbidden me from shaving.. lol!! And I too love the natural look now... (read in full...)
Is it possible that after all this time the doctor still likes me and wants to see me or is it purely professional?
Q. Hi All, I apologise if this is long, I am a 35 year old woman and 1 year ago I had a few issues with a dislocated finger that needed operating on, I was referred to a surgeon and instantly I could see he was attracted (staring at me (eyes) or while ...
A. 8 January 2014: I agree with Honeypie, don't turn this into some romantic far-fetched dream sequence. It's a professional appointment, not a date. Don't embarrass yourself by thinking there's more to it.... (read in full...)
Women, what turns you on? Why wasn't I attracted to a really hot guy?
Q. Girls, what do you think of penis'? Are you turned on by them? Do you enjoy giving blow jobs or do you do it mostly b/c you love your man and want to pleasure him? What do you enjoy most about a guy? What turns you on? Just him doing stuff to you or ...
A. 6 January 2014: I never found a penis attractive! I've never been turned on BY a penis...I need a good guy to do the trick for me.
I personally dont really enjoy blow jobs but I do it because my fiance loves them...and I try to enjoy it for his sake.
What do... (read in full...)
What did she mean?? "My heels are higher than your standards"??
Q. My girl said to me my heels higher then your standerd. Can anybody tell me wat does it means pplss...
A. 5 January 2014: She insulted you...BIG time. She meant that your standards are really low and even the heels of her shoes are higher than your standards.
Did you have a big fight with her? Have you cheated on her? Something has really upset her to have made suc... (read in full...)
I feel so low, I thought he cared but he implied I am a stalker!
Q. Please give a good advice I'm really hurt I thought a guy I worked with for ages liked me and we became close He told me he was unhappy with the girl he lived with and had 'issues' Anyway over time we became close and he gave me the impression t...
A. 5 January 2014: What do you expect of a cheater? Do you think he'll be a good, honorable man who'll say the right thing at the right time to make you feel good? To hell with him and what he says; just learn your lesson and never believe a cheater.
Just flush hi... (read in full...)
I went to the movies with a male friend. Was that cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for 2 years and 2 weeks ago he told me he's never had a gf before and that I was the first girl that got close to him and he developed feelings for me, I reminded him I have a boyfriend that I love, he said he was ...
A. 2 January 2014: In my opinion, if you do anything with another person that you hide from your partner, then its cheating. It may be going for a cup of coffee even a movie. The very fact that you didn't tell your boyfriend about it before you went and also that you ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a miser?
Q. My boyfriend met my family for the first time last week and we all went out to lunch. I was embarrassed because at the end of the meal, he didn't even offer to pick up the tab. Is that a red flag? My family did notice it and commented on it later. ...
A. 1 January 2014: Well if he was meeting your parents then he probably didn't want to offend them by offering to pay. I think he assumed that since your parents are taking you guys out for lunch, they are the ones who would be paying.
Other than this, has he given... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about my neighbour...do I have a chance with her?
Q. Ok so lately I can't stop thinking about my neighbour. Her and her fiancé have lived next door to me and my parents for 2 years and I hit it off with both of them Immediately! They were nothing like the previous neighbours who were much old...
A. 27 December 2013: Yes, you're wasting your time. She's older and engaged and she's probably just a sweet, friendly person and you're mistaking that for being flirtatious. Sorry to be blunt but you don't really have a chance with her so just get over it. Instead, ... (read in full...)
Does this mean I'm not in love with my fiance? Am I meant to be with my old manager?
Q. Urgently need some advice please... A few years back I worked as a PA to several managers- I got on with 1 manager in particular and everyone in the office used to tease me saying he had a soft spot for me. The truth is I fancied him like...
A. 26 December 2013: Its not right to your fiance, is it? To have you fantasizing about another man...its just not right. Maybe its a huge crush that you have on the manager person, maybe you really ARE in love with him...who knows? The entire situation is complicated ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated on me years ago and my parents worry about my future with him
Q. I'm 24 and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Our relationship was great until I knew he lied and cheat from me several times. That's about 2 years ago and since then I'm become a negative person and always worrying too much. However, I kno...
A. 25 December 2013: Your parents are right; any parent in their place would worry. Your parents have tried to give you the best possible life that they could and to see that you will actually be stepping down in life to adjust with a person who is below your standard ... (read in full...)
A thank you to the aunts and uncles...
Q. Ok so not a question, but I just wanted to wish everyone here at DC a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I've had some great advice from you all this year and I know so many others have too - the time and effort you all put in really is ...
A. 25 December 2013: Awww...that is so sweet!! Merry Christmas to you too, and to everyone out there, and a very Happy New Year. DC is an great place to be in and its amazing to actually have a place like this on the internet where we have so many cool, wise, and most ... (read in full...)
I promised my girlfriend to never kiss or do anything sexual with her or masturbate, any comments?
Q. I have no idea what to do or dont do. I made a few promises to my girlfriend and two of them are to never do anything sexual to her (including kissing) and never masterbate. Since my girlfriend thinks sex is gross and painful, I respected her ...
A. 22 December 2013: OK you're both young and you don't know what you're signing up for...neither of you. You're ready to abstain from all forms of sex and she doesn't even want you to kiss her. Either she was molested as a child or she's from an EXTREMELY protected ... (read in full...)
If I sleep with him, am I just setting myself up to get hurt in the end?
Q. This guy I like has a girlfriend and two kids and so I thought I'd never have a chance with him. We text a lot, and he started asking me sexual questions. I'm a virgin, never done anything. Well he asked me to send him pictures, naked pictures to be ...
A. 20 December 2013: Read this question
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-so-used----he.html
and you will see what it entails to have sex too soon and with the wrong person. You will fare even worse because your guy is already in a relationship and... (read in full...)
I feel so used -- he dropped me as soon as we slept together
Q. Hello, I understand this is probably a trivial and common question, but it is really getting me down as this has never happened to me before. I met this guy and we got talking, we had a in depth conversation and he was really sweet. We changed ...
A. 18 December 2013: Yes it's going to hurt now...and it's going to hurt real bad. But like the others have said, learn from this and just try and move on because that's pretty much all you can do. Never sleep with a guy till you've established a relationship. If you ... (read in full...)
Any sayings that make you feel better after a breakup?
Q. Hi, Has anyone got any good sayings that make you feel better and help forget, get over a relationship that is or hasn't worked out? For example, I saw a good one "If you are left wondering were you are stood, it's time to stop standing and sta...
A. 18 December 2013: “Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.” Charles Bukowski “If you are going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill “Th... (read in full...)
Do I reply to his lovely response?
Q. Hello aunties and uncles I was friends with a man for over 5 years, he's 3 years younger than me.. During the first 6 months we had a fling, and then we became just friends. I fell in love with him and all the way through our friendship I yea...
A. 17 December 2013: Don't respond because while he sounds like a nice guy, he's still not interested in you in that way. If he was, he would have asked you something to keep the conversation going, like "how have you been" or "how's everything at home/work" etc. That's ... (read in full...)
Why do men send photos of their genitals to women they barely know?
Q. Okay, inquiring minds must know. This appears to be a relatively new phenomenon, but in all seriousness, why do men send pics of their penises to women? I'm not talking about if you're in a committed relationship or if the girl ASKS for it. I'm...
A. 17 December 2013: Because they just want to have sex with her...without any benefits. And what's the quickest way to get a girl in bed without much persuasion? Show her a picture of your penis. They think we cant resist them, they think we'll drool and go all ooh and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is friends with this girl who sleeps around with almost everyone and I'm scared that he might cheat on me
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend is friends with this girl who sleeps around with almost everyone !! He cheated on me before, although that was a year ago. We broke up and got back together, and now I'm afraid that he has or will do somethin...
A. 14 December 2013: OP ultimately it all comes down to one thing and that is, can you trust him, and more importantly, DO you trust him? Because there will always be some girl on the scene who will be a threat-a colleague, a co-worker, a friend, a friend's friend, that ... (read in full...)
Which is more important in a partner: being physically attractive, or being good in bed?
Q. I have a general question for everyone. Do you prefer a partner who is good looking but boring in bed, or a partner who is average looking but good in bed?...
A. 11 December 2013: High five Youwish!! Nothing like multiple orgasms from a wonderful partner who takes care of your needs! Who cares about looks? Beauty after all, is really skin deep!... (read in full...)
Please help - I found dodgy photos on my boyfriend's computer.
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a bit confused and any insight would be appreciated as I can't talk to anyone else about this. My boyfriend is a sweet guy, I always knew he had a Pervy side but all guys do and that didn't really bother me.... Until I found pic...
A. 11 December 2013: You actually made me smile OP. It's innocent women like you who truly believe that their partners can do no wrong and you'll go to any lengths to believe that while your B/f has a "pervy side", he'll never act on it. Really? Did you really think ... (read in full...)
Why do guys ask for underwear?
Q. I slept with this guy like more than 5 times. He asked for my underwear twice and on his third ask, I decided, why not? So I gave them to him. I just want to understand this phenomena... why do guys ask for underwear? I'm curious. I just hope I ...
A. 11 December 2013: To masturbate to them.... (read in full...)
He tried to stick me with the bill on our first meeting ...
Q. I met this guy who I thought really likes me. We exchanged phone numbers, and few days later he offered to meet. So we go for a walk in one of the cool areas of the city, and we walk and walk, walk and walk, talk and around 2 p.m. I felt naut...
A. 8 December 2013: You're my hero OP!! What you did was just GREAT and you literally did something that many of us wont have the guts to do for fear of looking bad...but you didn't care and that was RIGHT! OP I too have been in this situation a couple of times; my ... (read in full...)
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