A
female
age
36-40,
*ovya
writes:I am dating a guy from last 7 months. But I have recently discovered he’s been emotionally cheating on me with his ex. He broke up with his ex (as she only dumped her) nearly one year ago. Only after that he started hitting on me but now a days he told me that he was not at all serious that time. And nearly after 5 months of their breakup he proposed me and i said yes. But the thing is only after 15 days he told me that he can't talk to his parents about me..and then we had a huge fight but later on he said sorry to me and told me not to think about future, just go with the flow. I also agreed that time.Then one day (after 4 months of relationship) i saw that he was still having his ex photographs in his phone, i told him to delete those pictures and yes he did it. But at the same time he was saying that it is not a big deal i was just over reacting on this issue. He was having password with his ex's name. I just broke down at that time and fought with him. Then again he changed his password and told the same thing as it was nothing to react.its been 7 months now and i can say its pretty good between us, we have physical relation but we never had sex. But, now a days we fight with each other on silly issues, he got irritated with small things. Only two days before i was checking his laptop (he only gave his laptop to me) and i found his ex's photographs (May be i can digest this thing). Another thing, he went to the a place 3 months ago and what i found was he has written his name then his ex's name and after that, my name on a lock (there is a place to hang these locks, just write the name of the person whom you love and want to keep them in your life forever). He never told me about this thing, infact he didn't show those pictures to me, he was hiding it from me. Apart from this, he is still having her stuff, a paper on which she has written that she loves her and wished him on his birthday. I found it in his purse and he directly told me that he is not going to throw it away ever. he wants to keep it with him only for his sake. I checked his history and found that he visits her profile on FB. He checked her status and photographs on whatsapp in front of me only. I asked him about this and he told he's not. In fact i asked him directly that do you still have feelings for your ex, he replied no, i don't. Still he didn't know that i already have seen those photographs and checked his history. I didn't say anything to him about this. He is not having any conversation with her from last 10-11 months.I am 25 years old, and i never had any bf before him. I am a girl who strongly believe in love, and just want to live only for one person (kind of one man woman). I love him, i really love him so much. I don't know what he is thinking in his head, i am not sure if he loves me or not? Please help me what should i do?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 January 2014):
 You're more heavily invested in this relationship than your boyfriend is. He told you not to think of the future and he is still, clearly, hung up on his ex.
I think you should bow out of this gracefully and move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2014): You tell a very sad story. You let him get away with cheating with his ex, and just dismiss your feelings.
He loves his ex. You are only there for sex until his ex takes him back. Your love is being wasted in the meantime; and it's time to be a woman. You are no longer a girl.
When men turn their affections toward other women; that is when you gather the strength to leave them.
You argue with him, and what results are you getting? He just turns around and goes right back to her.
Once he has worn you down emotionally. You'll give up anyway. He has no respect for your idle threats about his ex. He'll hide her pictures and continue to see her behind your back. He'll change his passwords and just continue things as usual.
You've wasted seven months of your life pretending to be in-love. The guy is messing around with your head. He doesn't love you back.
You are only clinging on; because you're desperate to have a boyfriend, no matter what he puts you through. I don't think your parents raised their daughter to be that way.
He is a low-life treating you beneath your dignity.
You are being taken for a fool.
What should you do?
Very simple. You dump him!
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A
male
reader, Geta  +, writes (11 January 2014):
Emotional cheating is the ground work for the physical cheat so it can be just as painful as the physical.
Also men have harder time accepting a break up with a female and it is emotionally harder so if he immediately moved over into you after his break up you should know he is not over it. Deleting some photos and changing passwords just masks his emotions. It is reasonable to expect that he wants to hook back up with his ex.
If I were you I would hold my purse very tight and have no sex so if he really wants a relationship with you he will pursue you and not his ex. Moving on or leaving him is also a good way for you to test this.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (11 January 2014):
 Wow! He couldn't be more brazen, could he? This guy doesn't love you OP, he's still into his ex and I doubt if he was ever over her in the first place. Walk out RIGHT NOW. Don't tolerate one more moment of his blatant disrespect and disregard for you.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 January 2014):
 I would tell him he can have his ex and leave. Even if he's not physically cheating, the emotional cheating is his not being emotionally there with you.
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