| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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I'm fine with being polygamous but he just likes to cheat!
Q. Hey everyone. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and we got engaged in November. We started off very casually because we don't live in the same city - I happened to be visiting his town on a business trip, I met him, we hooked ...
A. 30 April 2014: OP I've never been in a polygamous relationship but I know someone who is in one and I can tell you, its a recipe for disaster. Somewhere down the line cracks will appear, you will lose faith in each other, you will constantly question each other, ... (read in full...)
Do I wait for this girl to get out of this teenage phase if she does love me? Or do I force myself to move on?
Q. Hi all, Never used one of these sites before but I am currently feeling rather lonely and upset about my current situation. I think I better try to explain the situation: Well, I have known this girl for a while, probably 2 years. Im 23 a...
A. 29 April 2014: She's confused, she doesn't know what she wants and she's just wasting the bast days of her life. That's sad but there's nothing really that you can do about it OP. She's doing something that she doesn't want to do, just to keep up with the Joneses ... (read in full...)
Woman I'm sleeping with is becoming weird and clingy, how do I handle it?
Q. Okay, So I have a little dilemma. I've been sleeping with this woman I met. She's cool and everything and when we hang out we have a nice time, but she's becoming extraordinarily clingy. She texts things like "Do you miss me? What do you miss...
A. 29 April 2014: Well you cant have it all...much as you want to. If you feel that she's getting clingy and its becoming awkward for you then you have to just call it off, even if it means letting go of a good person. ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship OCD or am I out of love?
Q. I am lost here. Every time I have a disagreement or see something I don't like in my boyfriend, I immediately go to the 'we're not right for each other' place and it's driving me a little crazy. I've been with him for years. I've broken up with him ...
A. 28 April 2014: You're confused. You don't know what you want, you like the guy because he's probably good on paper and good to you but when things get even slightly rocky, you start questioning everything. Your feelings for him, your relationship, everything.
... (read in full...)
Is this man a sleaze bucket or am I a prude?
Q. I recently went on a first date with a guy in the public services blue uniform high up who I met online. He tried to kiss me intimately outside a pub in the car park which I found embarrassing and then text me later that he was going to be doing ...
A. 28 April 2014: Ewwww!! Just gross!... (read in full...)
My ex broke up with me, lashed out at me and left me bawling my eyes out, so why is it he's still trying to hurt/and or get a response from me?
Q. Ok, long story as short as possible. My ex and I were together for 4 years. Towards the end things got absolutely horrible. We couldn't be around one another without fighting. He became a totally changed person. His entire attitude about me and our ...
A. 28 April 2014: Why not just de-activate your own account for sometime? I've never really seen Facebook do any good for anyone really. You dont need any more drama in your life, just get off Facebook and block the ex from your life for good... (read in full...)
I'm scared of my ex and feel extreme fear, panic, anxiety and pain yet I cant seem to get over her
Q. Don't know if this in the right place for this? Anyone who has been through something similar your advice would be gratefully appreciated. Sorry if I'm a bit candid. My ex is a psychiatrist. She was controlling, abusive, cheated on me. She psyc...
A. 27 April 2014: Two words. Stockholm Syndrome.
"Stockholm syndrome is a complex psychological condition where the hostage becomes sympathetic towards the kidnappers. The syndrome is named after a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden. It is an example of defense ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always wakes me up with the words 'I gotta to kick you out'!!
Q. I have a question about how a boy friend normally wakes a girl up in the morning. This guy I have been seeing for several months now always wakes me up with the words 'I gotta to kick you out. It's not very romantic and an awful way to have to be ...
A. 27 April 2014: You stay with him ONCE a week and he says this to you? I don't care what his reasons are for saying this, its just not acceptable. Of course it makes you feel trashy, that's what his intentions are. No one treats their girlfriend like this, and if ... (read in full...)
This guy cancelled 3 hours before a date because he met someone else when he had been the one to suggest the date!
Q. I met a guy online a month ago and we went out on a first date and had an amazing time. Since then he had been texting me and sending pictures and flirting, then he asked to set up a second date. I agreed and we set it up, 3 hours before the date he ...
A. 27 April 2014: Look, I know you think its humiliating, but on the bright side at least he didn't lead you on. He was testing waters with both of you and he wasn't very sure about either of you but when the time came for the date with you, he realized that he ... (read in full...)
My ex broke up with me, lashed out at me and left me bawling my eyes out, so why is it he's still trying to hurt/and or get a response from me?
Q. Ok, long story as short as possible. My ex and I were together for 4 years. Towards the end things got absolutely horrible. We couldn't be around one another without fighting. He became a totally changed person. His entire attitude about me and our ...
A. 27 April 2014: I just don't get it, I mean you hurt yourself knowing the consequences and then you ask why your ex is doing this to you? You are the who isn't over him and pining for him, you're actually showing him that his behavior is fine and that you're such a ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend secretly meeting up with my ex friend, when we agreed not to see her?
Q. I've got (had) a good friend who made it clear she liked my boyfriend. She instantly liked him but whenever we had an argument she would always side with him and text him make sure he was OK and I wouldn't hear from her for ages! One time she w...
A. 26 April 2014: He meets her because she flatters his ego. She fawns and fusses over him and makes him feel important and wanted because obviously she has a huge crush on him and he loves that. Your boyfriend is a spineless hypocrite, sorry OP. He told you to cut ... (read in full...)
The elderly lady who lives just down the street from me indulges in nasty gossip and its making me very uncomfortable
Q. Hello. There is an elderly lady who lives just down the street from me. I walk past her house every day. She is friendly and talks to me - in fact, she talks to everyone - and I am happy to chat to her. However, she gossips about people and is often ...
A. 26 April 2014: What Cerberus said. And do add the bit about the dominatrix session, she'll probably go up in smoke and that will be a sight!
OK in all seriousness OP, just say, "hey, nice to see you but I'm really busy, I've got to rush". Learn how to say "no"... (read in full...)
He says he is unhappy and doesn't want to be with me either.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and let me just say this has been the hardest relationship I have ever been in! We've had some rough patches in our relationship we both suck at relationships! There's some months when we fight non ...
A. 26 April 2014: If your that unhappy with someone why stick around if you don't love them or want to be with them?
Exactly my question to you. Why don't you leave him? ... (read in full...)
If I break up, I'll hurt! If I stay, I'll lack trust! What do I choose?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for three years. Four months into our relationship I found out that he cheated on me with F. I confronted him, we fought, he begged for forgiveness and I stayed with him. A year later I found out that he cheated me on ...
A. 26 April 2014: Let me give you a hug OP, because that's what you need now. An its-going-to-be-OK hug. Because you know what? It is.
Good for you for having taking a decision because not many people would have the courage to do what you're about to do. But trus... (read in full...)
If I break up, I'll hurt! If I stay, I'll lack trust! What do I choose?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for three years. Four months into our relationship I found out that he cheated on me with F. I confronted him, we fought, he begged for forgiveness and I stayed with him. A year later I found out that he cheated me on ...
A. 25 April 2014: OP what you want is an affirmation from us telling you that it's fine, forgive him because he means well, he just made a mistake, he's human, he erred.
The truth however is that he's a serial cheater and will never change. Maybe he really does lov... (read in full...)
I don't want to play this no contact game with him anymore, I'm too old for it. What now?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for 3 years, we r currently in LDR as he has some job assignments outside country. We used to talk atleast once a day even if its for 10 mts Long story short, for past few months he is not calling me when I do, ...
A. 25 April 2014: I think its just bullshit that someone is too busy to find 5 minutes out of their lives to make ONE phone call to someone they love. This is not something that can and should be forced, its something that comes naturally. If its not, you know where ... (read in full...)
I imagined having a boyfriend would be a nice experience, but I find myself alone, fighting to be by the side of a person who is thinking about someone else
Q. Today is my boyfriend's birthday, we've been together for one month and a half (we were friends before becoming a couple). I baked a cake, bought candles, made a card, bought tons of presents, I just want to make him happy. First thing he ...
A. 25 April 2014: "He suffers from depression and has a serious problem with alcohol"
That should've been your window! Your first real relationship with a depressive alcoholic is enough to mess up all your future relationships.
Look OP, lets just accept thin... (read in full...)
Are women too independent for men these days or have they been so mucked around by men that they have lost interest?
Q. I was in a relationship for 20 years, it ended nearly 2 years ago. It seems woman these days are less wanting of a man in there lives, is this right or are my values a little dated. I like to spend time together watching movies and going out to all...
A. 23 April 2014: Lots of factors here OP.
Maybe you’re doing something that’s just not appealing to the women you’re trying to date, like coming on a little too strong? Maybe the fact that you had a 20 year old relationship is something that your dates are not will... (read in full...)
He knows I have a terrible relationship with my husband so why has he suddenly gone cold on me?
Q. I've been in a horrible relationship for too long but don't want to leave because of my son. When he had finished his gcses in July then I WILL be leaving. My boyfriend is controlling, abusive and has mistreated me for many years. 6 months ago I...
A. 23 April 2014: He's tired of the game that you've been playing. You crib and complain about your husband and then when this man tries to be nice and initiate conversation with you, you don't even give him the respect that he deserves. You basically made him feel ... (read in full...)
Is what I'm doing such a bad thing?
Q. I am in a long term relationship but I still speak to an ex without my partners knowledge. Is this really that wrong? I know having my cake and eating it will probably spring to mind but it's really not like that. My boyfriend is a great guy an...
A. 22 April 2014: Your B/f hates your ex with a vengeance because he cares for you. He has no other reason to hate him apart from the reason that this man made you sad.
You have a lovely boyfriend who cares so much for you and you, on the other hand, are choosing... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate if my boyfriend of a year visits a female friend who is currently studying overseas alone?
Q. Is it appropriate if my boyfriend of a year visits a female friend who is currently studying overseas alone? Frankly, I do not feel comfortable with this arrangement at all, even if they are good friends. He did not tell me where his accomodations ...
A. 20 April 2014: No way! Not cool at all! I don't care what kind of a "friend" this this, its not appropriate for him to visit her alone, that too in another continent!
Why did this even come up? Why are you not a part of his plans? And who is this friend who'... (read in full...)
I'm still missing my ex! I've sent him away again but I can't stop thinking about him!
Q. Hi guys I'm in bit of a pickle right now .. I was in a relationship with a guy for about 2 years and we had a pretty bad break up. He told me many things, I told him many things, he was hurt, I was hurt and we just stopped talking. However, I got in...
A. 20 April 2014: I dont think you need either of these guys for now OP. You're stringing the current guy along, who was clearly a rebound, and now that the anger has subsided, you want the ex back. Your boyfriend seems VERY understanding, I must say!
Just remember... (read in full...)
A shotgun marriage for me leaves me jealous of other people's white weddings!
Q. Hello. I have been married for 11 months to my partner of 5 years. We got married without a wedding as I was pregnant so basically we didn't have enough time or money for the wedding. Now whenever I hear someone is getting married I get so jealous ...
A. 20 April 2014: What's more important to you OP, the wedding or the marriage?
You got married to the love of your life and you have a beautiful baby to love and cherish. You cant change the past and have the wedding that you had in mind, but if you still wa... (read in full...)
I only reconnected with my ex so we could be friends, but I think he wants more
Q. A bit of an odd question. I reached out to an ex of mine because enough time had passed where we didn't speak and I thought of just asking to remain friends. We dated for only 4 months, nothing too serious. The awkward part is that he seems to...
A. 19 April 2014: Not just sex, steer any kind of talk away from him...altogether. Simply put, just stop talking to him and cut off all contacts. No good can ever come of this, you had a past with this guy, it didnt work out-now look ahead and move on.
It seems that... (read in full...)
I asked him to delete his ex's number ...
Q. I am seeing a guy for two months and i found out that he texted his ex last week saying how much he misses her and how she would feel if he got a new girlfriend. Ex said it'll be weird but nothing I cant get over and I'll be happy for you. He ...
A. 19 April 2014: You can ask the guy to un-friend this woman from facebook and delete her number but how do you know what he's thinking in his heart of hearts? How do you know that he's over her for good?
As of now he isnt and I dont think you should hang arou... (read in full...)
I want to leave my long term partner, but I don't know how.
Q. I need advice on how to leave my long term, live in boyfriend. This is long, I thank anyone who takes the time to read this. We have been together for a long, long time. I am 29 years old. We have been living together for the past year and a...
A. 19 April 2014: Don't you have any friends or family that you can turn to? You need to get this man OUT of your house this instant. Throw him out because you're the one paying the rent anyway. Call the police and tell them EVERYTHING that you've told us.
Look ... (read in full...)
Should I confess about the kiss while we were on a break?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 4 years, but last summer I got in a fight with my girlfriend and we broke up for a day, and on that day I kissed one of her friends. I feel really bad about it, especially since our relationship is going so well ...
A. 14 April 2014: If word hasn't come around in a year's time, then maybe it'll stay safe. Why say something and ruin a potentially good relationship especially when you were on a break when you did something silly? Dont ever do something like that in the heat of the ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I need to just be blunt, ask him his salary and then maybe nip it in the bud if it is too little money. Should I be honest?
Q. I'm in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would maybe prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a sweet guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very ...
A. 13 April 2014: You're thinking about marriage and kids after just ONE date? ... (read in full...)
How real are those 'hook up tonight' websites?
Q. I was tempted to lie about my age when I was posting this question because anyone as experienced as I am have must leaned these lessons by now but I have not. When my marriage dissolved I had been with him from the time I was 14 until i was 27. ...
A. 13 April 2014: 1.) horribly addicted to pornography
2.) dishonest
3.) hooking up with women online and meeting them for sex
What other "concrete" evidence do you want? This man ISNT marriage material or worth dating or for that matter even getting to know ... (read in full...)
This incident made me question whether our core values are in sync
Q. I feel very disappointed in my girlfriend of almost 4 years yesterday, but I don't think she understands the core issue (or maybe it's not an issue). We are 29 and 28. We were in a car driving to a birthday event about an hour away with my gir...
A. 8 April 2014: I was once in the car and having an ice-cream and a homeless person asked me for it when the car stopped at a traffic light. I had no option but to give it to him because I just couldn't continue eating it when there was a person staring at my face ... (read in full...)
I made a mistake. Now how do I choose between my pregnant wife and unborn child, and the love of my life?
Q. Between 2006 to 2009, I was dating this amazing and wonderful girl, due to the long distance of our relationship, she suggested we take a break from our relationship to finish our education, I was so hurt but I agreed. During this period, an old ...
A. 4 April 2014: So you promised your ex that you would do everything to be with her? And what about the promise that you made to your wife when you exchanged vows? And what about the promise that you have already made to your unborn child, the promise that was made ... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed at my B/f and his family's attitude especially when they know about our financial situation. Given this scenario, should I just not go for his mom's birthday dinner?
Q. I was invited by my boyfriend to join in with his family on Mother's Day as its also his Mum's birthday same date. I've known my boyfriend for 18 mths he is 39. I have met his Mum maybe three or four times and she seems nice so I agreed. However ...
A. 28 March 2014: Whatever you do, don't tell your boyfriend that you are annoyed at his attitude or at his parents' because he will feel very resentful of you. I once said something unsavory about my B/f's family and Ouch!! Burnt my fingers really badly! Now that's ... (read in full...)
My husband has confessed but my best friend says she can't remember!
Q. While I was pregnant my husband and a argument and I've since found out that he went to my best friend one thing led to another and he gave her oral sex, she tried to give him it but he says it didnt happen as he couldn't get an erection, is this ...
A. 27 March 2014: How does it matter if he got an erection or not? He cheated on you, he went to your best friend, he performed oral sex on her and he wanted the same for himself. This is enough information to know that he cheated and now you have to decide if you ... (read in full...)
I need some help getting through a terrible break up.
Q. I've been suffering through a terrible break up and I need some encouraging words and help to get through it. My gf and I were together about two years. We split on Sunday because she couldn't handle a relationship anymore. She deeply suffers f...
A. 26 March 2014: I think she actually did you a favour by breaking up with you. Your ex girlfriend's attitude towards her own self and the way that she chose to tackle her problems were a clear indication of the fact that she was absolutely unable even to take care ... (read in full...)
Sex when on my period?
Q. My boyfriend won't have sex with me when I am on my period. It's nothing to worry about to have sex on my period - what should I do??? ...
A. 26 March 2014: The bigger question is, why is a 16 year old girl in India having sex in the first place? If I'm not wrong then the legal age for consensual sex in India is 18.
... (read in full...)
He slept with someone else right before our wedding was scheduled
Q. I have been married for 9 weeks and now my husband decides to tell me that he slept with a work colleague last year but thinks because its a one off that I should be able to move on and forgive him. Our wedding had to be pushed back due to the ...
A. 26 March 2014: Well said, Sageoldguy!! Couldnt agree more!
For your husband the infidelity ended when the sex was over so he thinks that you should forgive him and move on because in his head, he's forgiven himself and sees it as a momentary indiscre... (read in full...)
I'm clear that it's over between us, he's not
Q. My "ex" boyfriend and i have not talked in three months. i wanted the break but hes not over me. he texts me, calls me and emails me. I told him i dun wan this relationship anymore. he treated me bad. now i've moved on. i've been hurt too much to go ...
A. 26 March 2014: I'm sorry for his father but this is just a way for him to get you back into his life. He cries, he says he needs you and you don't have an option but to go because now he's playing the my-dad's-in-hospital card. And you do know what's going to ... (read in full...)
Does sex always have to be with someone special?
Q. Hey, people!!!! Haven't been on here for some time! You seriously can't understand how bored i was. anyway, i've gotta question that's not a problem, but it'd be nice to have some opinions. so basically, my friends and i were having an argument...
A. 25 March 2014: I've had sex with just ONE person in my whole life and that is the guy I'm engaged to. It's been the most wonderful, fulfilling, comfortable, safe feeling of my life and the fact that I saved myself for him and can get intimate with him whenever we ... (read in full...)
I think my husband has a crush at work and its making me uncomfortable
Q. Would anyone else think anything of this? Or am I just being paranoid? My husband of 6 years has recently started a new job. He's been there about 2 months now. He works in a team of 7 others, one Man and six women. For the past 3 weeks he h...
A. 21 March 2014: He "snapped" at you? For her? That is *not* cool. And the other aunts have put forth a good point...why is your husband the one to console her? Why not anyone else? And why does the consoling have to be over dinner and drinks?
The other point th... (read in full...)
I feel like my marriage was a mistake
Q. I've only been married 5 months, but I feel like I made a mistake. There are a lot of "factors" to this story that I feel are important to really give you a perspective, so it might be a long, convoluted post, but I'll do my best to get the point ...
A. 18 March 2014: Seriously OP? You think your marriage was a mistake? Hmmm...then that makes me wonder what your husband would have to say about you because you have done absolutely nothing for him!! I'm not going to be nice about this. Its been entirely about you ... (read in full...)
Whenever things go wrong, my girlfriend always blames me and its my fault!
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I have a problem here, the one I am not capable of resolving on my own. Me and my gf, we've been together for 3 years, living together for 7 months. Most of the time our relationship seems to work well, yet there are critica...
A. 17 March 2014: This is verbal and emotional abuse at its worst and you *have to* put a stop to it. If a girl were writing this about an abusive boyfriend then we would be screaming from the rooftops to get her to report him for abuse and cut off all contacts with ... (read in full...)
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