| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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I bent over backwards to make it work, but he still dumped me!
Q. My bf, of 4 years, and I just broke up like 20 mins ago. I saw it coming for months now. Since January nothing had been the same. He was distant, disrespectful and basically seemed to live to make me miserable. I tried to work things out for the ...
A. 5 August 2014: You need counseling. This is beyond the realm of DC. You dont seem to have moved forward at all despite all the help that you've got and this isn't healthy.... (read in full...)
I'm trying to forgive him and make the marriage work, but friends and family don't undertand why!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and we have 4 kids under the age of 5. A month ago he told me that he had an affair with a coworker. It happened in April and last three weeks, during those three weeks they were together 4 times. H...
A. 27 July 2014: In that case, you just have to stand your ground and hope that your husband respects you and the marriage enough to not ruin everything all over again. If you trust him and trust that you can make this work, then explain to your family and friends ... (read in full...)
I am not thinking straight but I desperately want him back!
Q. I am 29 and my ex boyfriend is 28. We had a very sweet and loving relationship. We had great times together. We would be so happy and sweet just like in the movies. BUT, if we had arguements it always escalated in him breaking up with me. Now I know ...
A. 26 July 2014: You pushed him too hard for too long and he snapped. This was bound to happen OP, I mean think about it...how much can a person take? A relationship should be simple, happy and uncomplicated...of course fights and disagreements are a part of life ... (read in full...)
She took my virginity and now she's all cold?
Q. So... Sort of a long story. I'm a 19 year old male and up until recently had been a virgin. Wanted to lose it to someone I care about. Well, I've been falling for this girl for a while, she knew the situation and was falling for me, but had a lo...
A. 21 July 2014: Such is life OP, things don't always go as planned and sometimes you get dealt with a really shitty hand.
You wanted your first sexual experience to be special but you made a huge error in judgment. How can a woman who's in a relation... (read in full...)
My parents cant stand my relationship with my much older B/f. Should I even invite them to my wedding ?
Q. My parents have never been supportive if my relationship with my older boyfriend. We have been dating for three years and he is 19 years older then me and was also a family friend before we started dating. Once we started dating they but me out o...
A. 17 July 2014: OP I have just one question for you.
You have clearly decided that your parents have wronged you in many ways and you've given up trying to make amends with them. Why, then, are you even asking this question in the first place when you've decided ... (read in full...)
My parents cant stand my relationship with my much older B/f. Should I even invite them to my wedding ?
Q. My parents have never been supportive if my relationship with my older boyfriend. We have been dating for three years and he is 19 years older then me and was also a family friend before we started dating. Once we started dating they but me out o...
A. 17 July 2014: How can you be so bitter about your own parents? Have you and your boyfriend ever attempted to mend the wall? Have you gone up to your mom, placed your head on her lap and just been the little daughter that she once had?
You've known your boyfrien... (read in full...)
I have an irrational fear he will cheat on me!
Q. I've known my boyfriend for seven years, been in a relationship for one year. We have never had an argument and he is a total gentlemen. It feels as though we were made specifically for each other and, while I've never told him, I do hope he asks me ...
A. 15 July 2014: If your B/f hasn't given you any reason to doubt him, then don't waste your time doing so because you're just making your life miserable thinking of scenarios that don't really exist. You have already wasted so much time assuming the worst when you ... (read in full...)
I have been invited to spend time with my Bf's elderly grandmother. What can I do there so don't feel like a freeloader?
Q. I'm going away for the Summer, to my boyfriend's grandma place. She's quite the old lady (90 I think) and lives in a very, very small town by the river (the whole town has about 20 houses). She owns a farm, so I'll be getting home cooked meal...
A. 15 July 2014: OP if there's anything that elderly people like, then it's having someone to talk to them. I think the best thing you can give her is your undivided time and attention.
Apart from that, help with the cooking, offer to do the dishes and cook you... (read in full...)
Am I just being a typical bloke?
Q. New to this everyone. How is everyone? I'm just a young lad. Started a new job a few months ago. I'm really enjoying it. I've maybe got this totally wrong. Picking up the wrong signals. So there's this really attractive girl. She's 2...
A. 14 July 2014: If you ask me, she's being extremely inappropriate. Look, this is a fine balance that you have to maintain here. DO NOT date her no matter how much you want to because the saying "Dont shit where you eat" is there for a reason. That being sai... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about the way I acted with my boyfriend. How do I forgive myself and move on from this?
Q. Recently, i've been feeling very guilty about my past behaviour to my boyfriend. When we first got together everything was fine, i was fine, and he went of with his friends fairly regularly (once a month at least). However they all went through a ...
A. 14 July 2014: I think you're being too hard on yourself. You went through a stage where you were unreasonable but then you realized how silly you were being, you apologized, he accepted and things are back to normal. End of story.
A "sorry" like the word "lo... (read in full...)
I have a B/f but is it normal to be completely and utterly drawn to another person without being able to put your finger on the reason why?
Q. Hi all! I want some clarification into my situation! I am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years! He's 23! I have always been totally in love with him, he can wind me up most days due to the maturity difference in us, but I sti...
A. 13 July 2014: Completely normal and happens to most of us. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you cant EVER get attracted to anyone else or have a crush on anyone else! I think its creepy when people fixate JUST on their partners with the ... (read in full...)
We were LDR for 8 months, then we moved in together, we've both made mistakes but the trust is now gone and I feel suffocated. We are broken. How do we get through this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and we are very much in love. For eight months of our relationship, we were in long-distance. He soon moved away from his small hometown (family, lifetime friends, a job he loved - ...
A. 11 July 2014: OP do you really, honestly see this working out in the long run? Ask yourself that question and listen to your gut instinct. This relationship that you describe is filled with lies, cheating, deceit and liquor-soaked shouting. Is this really what ... (read in full...)
Chatting online for a month and he wants me to pay his phone bill so we can talk
Q. I met this guy in a dating website about a month ago and he asked me to pay his phone bill. It makes me a little uncomfortable because I don't know if he is using me. He says he likes me a lot and has plans to come visit me in 3 weeks (lives 7 hours ...
A. 11 July 2014: What!! He asked you to pay his phone bill just so you can talk to him? Don't fall this bullshit, he's just using you and he sure doesn't beat around the bush! You don't even know him and he's asking you to foot his bill, what's he going to ask for ... (read in full...)
I would really appreciate some gift ideas for a person who did me a big favour that has benefited my business
Q. This is a business question.....I would really appreciate some gift ideas for a person who did me a big favour that has benefitted my business. I am looking to spend around $300. Do you think a really expensive floral arrangement? Or something tha...
A. 10 July 2014: Don't waste all that money on a flower arrangement; instead give her something that will last and will always remind her of you and your warm gesture.
How about something like crystal? I think crystal artifacts are absolutely beautiful and clas... (read in full...)
I made a massive mistake and she didn't take it well. I'm looking for words of comfort and advice!
Q. Hi all, So I have very recently made a massive mistake, and jeopardised my girlfriend and I's relationship. Really I'm not too sure why I'm sharing this with you all, and I don't think there is very much I can do, but if anyone has any words of...
A. 10 July 2014: If you thought my previous answers were harsh, then buckle up for this one! I'm sorry but I'm just going to say what I feel and you might not like it so be prepared for that.
Yes, you're in denial.
Somewhere deep down inside you're also inse... (read in full...)
I made a massive mistake and she didn't take it well. I'm looking for words of comfort and advice!
Q. Hi all, So I have very recently made a massive mistake, and jeopardised my girlfriend and I's relationship. Really I'm not too sure why I'm sharing this with you all, and I don't think there is very much I can do, but if anyone has any words of...
A. 10 July 2014: I guessed as much but I wanted you to say it.
First of all, you've been together for 5.5 years and have only been with each other around 2 times a week. That is a difficult way to sustain a relationship OP. A relationship means you need to spend... (read in full...)
I made a massive mistake and she didn't take it well. I'm looking for words of comfort and advice!
Q. Hi all, So I have very recently made a massive mistake, and jeopardised my girlfriend and I's relationship. Really I'm not too sure why I'm sharing this with you all, and I don't think there is very much I can do, but if anyone has any words of...
A. 10 July 2014: You're not a bad person OP, you just did something that you shouldn't have done and you regret it now.
OP many times in life, we meet people who we are attracted to, who we think we're more suited for, who we have a fabulous connection with. No... (read in full...)
I gave up everything to move in with my B/f and now he says that he doesn't love me. The house I left has been rented out and my job was filled almost immediately. What do I do now?
Q. I have known my boyfriend nearly 2 years now and 2 months ago he asked me (and my dog) to move in with him. He has not lived with a woman before - he is 38 years old. I agreed and re-located, giving up my job as the commute would no longer be viable ...
A. 9 July 2014: OP what happened with you was undoubtedly terrible and I cannot even imagine what you would be going through right now. But love is a tricky thing. There are times when you dont know what you want till you ARE in that situation. I think in your ... (read in full...)
He went through so much with his ex I wonder if I'm a rebound?
Q. Please Bare with me because my story is long and detailed. Three years ago, I started working at a Psychiatric Board and Care Facility as a housekeeper. I was 18 then, from being a housekeeper, I changed linens, worked in the kitchen, drove p...
A. 9 July 2014: Youwish is ABSOLUTELY right!!
This guy has creep written all over him and if I were you, honey I would run for the hills. Look at the warning signs from the word go:
"...he mention that he wants to make it a tradition for his future family to... (read in full...)
"I wouldn't do that with you because I couldn't do that with someone who someday might be..." What was he going to say after that?
Q. So I tried being a bit more experimental with my boyfriend in the bedroom. He didn't respond very well saying that there were things he couldn't see himself doing with me because he doesn't see me like that. (In a slutty kind of way) He kinda said: ...
A. 8 July 2014: Hmmm. Madonna-whore complex, maybe?
He sees you or at least wants to see you as this pure, clean, virginal woman who performs traditional, wifely duties and leaves the trampy sex to the whores. And like he hasn't done anything in his past? Th... (read in full...)
Love triangle or 3 broken hearts?
Q. My fiancee and I have been having threesome's and I have been letting him sleep with other women. I don't really have a problem as long as I am involved... he doesn't feel comfortable letting me sleep with other men which is annoying and stressful ...
A. 8 July 2014: I hope you realize by now how fucked up this entire situation is and that things are possibly irreparably damaged. If you still think, that you want to give it a shot, then here's my advice for you.
Put an end to this threesome business immediat... (read in full...)
My inlaws have out stayed their welcome and my husband doesn't get it!
Q. My husbands parents live in canada, weve been together 10 years and they've only come to England once in that time (for our wedding). After the birth of our 1st child they said they were coming to see their grand daughter. They kept changing their ...
A. 8 July 2014: Forget the in-laws, I would be hopping mad at my husband if he was this insensitive! He doesn't have a problem with you sleeping on the floor? He doesn't realize that you're the one who's facing the brunt of it all, with the new baby, the in-laws ... (read in full...)
I feel foolish now that he has gone back to his wife
Q. I was seeing a separated married man for a few months. It ended a couple of months ago. He has since got back with his wife. I now feel foolish. He was already separated when we got together and had been for a year. At the time I was at rock bottom ...
A. 4 July 2014: She smirks at you because she's jealous of you and that's her way of hiding her feelings. Not that its even a contest, for this loser, but yes, still.
She knows that her husband left her for you. That was a huge slap in the face for her and gett... (read in full...)
He didn't check up on me when I was in the hospital
Q. Hey everyone... I'm really going through a lot right now and it's hurting me. So me and my boyfriend been going out for a while now but he broke up with me because he said we have different personality, but we started talking again and tried to...
A. 29 June 2014: This isn't a relationship, this isn't even a friendship. This man doesn't give a hoot about you, he's utterly selfish and he's wrong when he says you have different personalities. The truth is that he doesn't have one at all... he seems completely ... (read in full...)
Just discovered my boyfriend lied about having a child
Q. I APOLOGIZE THIS IS LONG BUT I'M BEGGING FOR INPUT ON THE SITUATION My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and he is an ex army militant. In our early days I noticed he had a tattoo with a female name followed by a date which whe...
A. 28 June 2014: How long did he think he could hide this from you? Did he think that you would never meet his mother? He must be crazy if he thought he could pull off a lie like that! Have you never met or even spoken to his mother in 8 months? That's a little ... (read in full...)
Would this be classified as cheating?
Q. Hi everybody! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Me and my boyfriend were together for 5 years before the relationship ended. It was mainly my fault, I was writing my university dissertation, revising for exams, working to help my parents ...
A. 28 June 2014: It's technically not cheating but then I know what you mean...you expect your partner to not go around sleeping with others when there is a hope of reconciliation. Somewhere in your heart of hearts you know when a relationship is done and will never ... (read in full...)
I bent over backwards to make it work, but he still dumped me!
Q. My bf, of 4 years, and I just broke up like 20 mins ago. I saw it coming for months now. Since January nothing had been the same. He was distant, disrespectful and basically seemed to live to make me miserable. I tried to work things out for the ...
A. 27 June 2014: You feel sad that he's going to make love to another girl? Seriously, you should PITY her! Do you really want such a disgusting man even touching you, let alone be inside you? He was an asshole OP, he was the worst thing that happened in your life. ... (read in full...)
I bent over backwards to make it work, but he still dumped me!
Q. My bf, of 4 years, and I just broke up like 20 mins ago. I saw it coming for months now. Since January nothing had been the same. He was distant, disrespectful and basically seemed to live to make me miserable. I tried to work things out for the ...
A. 27 June 2014: "Come fuck me"? Really? Why doesn't he just go fuck himself? Asshole!
He's just pushing you to the maximum that he can because (a) he thinks this break-up is just a farce and you cant/wont live without him and (b)he wants a reaction out of you..... (read in full...)
I bent over backwards to make it work, but he still dumped me!
Q. My bf, of 4 years, and I just broke up like 20 mins ago. I saw it coming for months now. Since January nothing had been the same. He was distant, disrespectful and basically seemed to live to make me miserable. I tried to work things out for the ...
A. 27 June 2014: OP believe it or not, I have known someone very similar to your ex. An asshole who didn't have much love from his family, who had no one to care for him, no one to give him any affection. I was the best thing to happen in his life. To top it all, he ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions for extremely painful periods?
Q. Help! My periods are awful! They are so painful. I am currently on Tranexamic tablets for when I am on my period. It was okay when I first started them, but now they do not seem to be helping anymore. I went onto the pill and tried a few but I wa...
A. 25 June 2014: I was on tranexamic tablets as well but I've stopped having them now because they really messed me up after a while. I suggest you go consult a doctor and don't self-medicate.
I regret doing that.
I had tranexamic tablets a couple of months... (read in full...)
Is there any way to convince my ex to give me a second chance?
Q. Is there any way to convince my ex to give me a second chance? My gf and I met 18 months ago and we ended up in a relationship literally over night. Our relationship moved extremely fast with me moving in within the first month. She is 7 yrs you...
A. 17 June 2014: I think you're being too hard on yourself OP. There are no moral judgments on partying and there shouldn't be either. You're being a great guy by being a father figure for the child but then you're not obligated to do so because this is not your ... (read in full...)
Are there rules for people when they start dating?
Q. Hi there. I'm in my first relationship and I was wondering if there are rules about what is acceptable with friends of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship. Like can you meet up one on one but only if it's in public or something? Is any ...
A. 17 June 2014: Most of these dating rules are unsaid but I'd say at the same time, go with your instincts. If anything feels wrong, then it probably is.
When you're getting to know each other, meet in a public place. Only when you're sure about him, meet him... (read in full...)
I'm worried I can't compete with her ex who just bought her a car
Q. This is probably gonna be a long story, but here goes: I recently graduated from college and moved back to my hometown. Between having a full-time job and not having many friends that still live here anymore, I decided to make an effort to date u...
A. 16 June 2014: Wait, she accepted the car from her ex? Back off immediately, this girl has no boundaries and will not stop at anything. What the hell, I wont even accept a needle from my ex, let alone anything else! If its done, its done. No contact, no gifts, no ... (read in full...)
Are gold diggers happy?
Q. I am wondering this because just recently at work we found out that one of the most beautiful girls at work has started going out with one of our managers. In the 5 years I have worked at this place I have never noticed them flirting or laughing or ...
A. 16 June 2014: In my opinion, any relationship that you get into for the purpose of gaining anything material or financial out of, can never be a truly happy, contented relationship. Its not selfless, its not from the heart-its from the head. And in that case, its ... (read in full...)
I want to go to my boyfriend's mother's wedding but my OCD puts me off the pets in her house, what do I do?
Q. It is my boyfriend's mother's wedding and I am invited to go. If I go, I would need to stay at her house. She lives in another country. There are no hotels or even transportation around, not to mention it is one of the more expensive countries in ...
A. 14 June 2014: Oh I get it...along the lines of crazy cat lady. God...its difficult to deal with such people and the obsession keeps getting worse. I knew of someone like this...my dad's friends mother. The cats and dogs outnumbered everything else in the house, ... (read in full...)
My last relationship was an open relationship but my reputation in my small town is ruining my chances in my current relationship with an amazing girl
Q. My last relationship was an open relationship, we had one night a week that was open to other, we tried swinging, and had more then one threesome, it started out fun and exciting but quickly turned bad. Living in a small town people know your bus...
A. 13 June 2014: I don't really know what to say...you're clearly repenting your choices but you cant undo your past in any way. Most girls would be skeptical of being with a guy whose reputation precedes him and this girl and her family are no different either.
... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but he is coming on too strong?
Q. There's a guy I know who I have become interested in, and I think he is interested in me as well. However, I am finding that he comes on very strong and it's making me a little uncomfortable. He is very polite, and his compliments are all ...
A. 13 June 2014: "John, I like you, I know you're very fond of me too and maybe this could go somewhere but I feel you're coming across as a little too strong as its making me a little uncomfortable and very conscious of myself! I know I'm fabulous and its great ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me and I don't know what to do
Q. Earlier this week I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me. We were hanging out at the park and he was showing me a text message from a friend that was funny. So i was read it and then decided to randomly look at his other texts for fun. ...
A. 9 June 2014: Like the others have said, its not the cheating he's upset about, its the fact that he got caught. He would obviously never have told you about it and he would have continued doing this with different women.
OP what do you expect from a cheater?... (read in full...)
I don't think the ex has a right to question our financial decisions
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. My boyfriend has a child with ex wife. Whenever we spend money on ourselves he gets questioned why money was spent on us, and who paid. Recently we went away for a short holiday. His son (13) phoned and asked why he spent money ...
A. 8 June 2014: The child is too big for his boots but then this is the way he's been brought up, so yes, its the ex wife's fault. She poisoning him against you and your boyfriend and that is why he has the audacity to talk to his father in that way.
OP this is ... (read in full...)
He wants proof I am telling the truth or he'll take the kids from me.
Q. OK so I've been with my boyfriend for 9 years and we have 2 kids. I went through a massive depression stage and I completely lost myself. I was drinking heavily. Well I was staying at his family's home in a different city while he stayed at his ...
A. 8 June 2014: I really don't think your relationship can be "fixed" because you have damaged it beyond repair. You had problems with your B/f yet you stayed in his family home and had sex with his own cousin just because he gave you the attention that your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slept with my friend before we got together as a couple and it bothers me
Q. I have been seeing this guy since November time, at first we just slept together and then in January we started seeing eachother. We made it official in April. Before me he was casually sleeping with my friend but had no feelings for her, on Boxing ...
A. 7 June 2014: You cant change the past much as you want to OP. Yes, its an ugly truth that he slept with her but as he says, he didn't know he would eventually end up with you. And its not like he cheated on you with her.
You have to tell him how you feel abo... (read in full...)
I wasn't the one who messed up so why am I the one hurting?
Q. My ex and I had been together almost 4 years. He moved from England to Canada with me 3 years ago in August. We definitely had our rough patches, mainly to do with him speaking inappropriately to other girls. Anyway, on Sunday morning I checke...
A. 6 June 2014: It hurts because you expected him to put up a fight and not throw it all away in an instant.
It hurts because he's not even willing to work on whatever relationship you had.
And most of all it hurts because this asshole has humiliated, cheated ... (read in full...)
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