| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Don't know if I can be life partners with some-one so soft, but I do love him
Q. I don't know how I feel about my boyfriend anymore. Though he is nice and everything any woman can wish for in a way he cares about me, but he has what we say soft bones. We went out yesterday, and the behavour of a server was unspeac...
A. 10 January 2015: Its your personal preference OP. I've been with guys who've been way too fighter-cocky and guys who've been like your boyfriend and I can say that I would like someone who is somewhere mid-way but definitely leaning more towards your boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Torn between taking him back, and questioning whether anything's going to change
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I am looking for some advice please because I'm so confused at the moment. Basically, I had been with my now ex boyfriend for over 5 years. We have always had our own lives and interests outside of the relationship, bu...
A. 10 January 2015: Take some time off and both of you think about what your priorities are. Taking him back right now may seem like the less painful option...obviously you're missing him and moving in together might make you happy BUT, how viable would this really be ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend's new guy snooped on her facebook and found our hookup messages.
Q. SOOOOOO here's the thing. Roughly 6 months ago my gf and I broke up. we had been together for 3 years and best friends for years before. We had just been fighting for a few months because the struggles of life (bills school etc) had gotten to us. ...
A. 4 January 2015: Tell her how you feel about her. If she reciprocates then great; if not then you just have to back out and allow her to do whatever she wants. And stop messing around with her because it'll only end in heartbreak for you.... (read in full...)
My ex FWB is my boyfriend's best friend and keeps trying it on with me.
Q. I used to have this "friends with benefits" relationship with a cowoker. We are still close friends, but stopped with the sex. I am now dating this guy's best friend. I love him and he is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. We're ...
A. 2 January 2015: Why are you talking to this friend about all this at all? It clearly has no effect on him and neither will it ever. He's the way he is and there's nothing you can do or say that will change it. Just tell your boyfriend about it because there's ... (read in full...)
Why is my B/f so hesitant to let his ex know that he is with me? And if he's wanting to save his chances with her, why is he talking about a future with me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. Throughout this year, he has kept in touch with his ex. They speak on the phone to keep in touch. During their phone convos, he has never mentioned to her that he is dating me. I didn't mind...
A. 1 January 2015: No way...no..I would definitely not tolerate the way this guy's treating you and my point is that there is nothing that you should say to him because his acknowledgement of your presence in his life is something that should come naturally to him. ... (read in full...)
I'm married, and transferred branches to stay away from a coworker I fell for, but he transferred too
Q. A co-worker and I had great chemistry and flirted constantly. We are both married. Nothing ever happened but I found myself constantly thinking about him and began to fall for him. Out of respect for my husband I have transfered to another office ...
A. 28 December 2014: This just goes to show that you can never run away from your problems, you have to face them. Yes, so now the guy is at the new office but if you've decided to be faithful to your husband then it wouldn't matter if it were him or Brad Pitt because ... (read in full...)
Should I confront her about her secret correspdence with her ex?
Q. I've just found out my girlfriend has been messaging her ex in secret, should I confront her about it? We're both 26 and have been together 6 years. Her ex was her childhood sweetheart but they split up after he cheated on her. A few days ago I was ...
A. 28 December 2014: I agree with what the male anon said. Maybe she never thought that she would chat with her ex on friendly terms again but now that she has, she probably sees nothing wrong with it but she also cant get herself to tell you about it because she's ... (read in full...)
We had a good date, kissed goodnight, but this morning I am blocked!
Q. Hi, hopefully going to be a short question! If not forgive me. So I started talking to this guy a few weeks ago. I know him through my ex but they aren't good friends they jusy know eachother. He asked when he could take me out we chose frida...
A. 20 December 2014: How do you know he's blocked you? Anyway, if he has then its pretty obvious that he's more into the other girl OP. He probably thought that it had a better chance of it working out with her because he was skeptical about going out with you in the ... (read in full...)
My husband had the following conversation with the woman he slept with behind my back. Please tell me what you think of it
Q. I'm writing this post because i found something which has concerned me a bit. I have been married for a little over a year and things have been going fine, at least, i thought so. Before we got married my husband slept with another woman be...
A. 15 December 2014: Confront him OP but be prepared that he's going to throw it back on your face by saying that you snooped and spied on him. There's a very good chance that he'll slam the door and storm out and make you look like the culprit.
Also, think of all t... (read in full...)
I want it to last forever, but not like this!
Q. When we first started dating, my boyfriend was nice, affectionate, and eager to spend time with me. Two years later... not so much. He is always making fun of me (in a joking way, but it can be a little mean), no where near as affectionate, an...
A. 14 December 2014: "You won't leave me though, we love each other too much and I can't live without you"....this is a classic co-dependent relationship OP. Both of you need counselling and if it still doesn't work out then you might just have to consider moving on. ... (read in full...)
Did he have an emotional affair?
Q. Did my bf have an emotional affair? He used to regularly text a female friend (almost on a daily basis). Initially whenever he got a text from her when I was around, he was fine with me reading her texts. Gradually, whenever he got a text from ...
A. 13 December 2014: Wait...he stopped texting the first girl completely? I find that very hard to believe. And then there are the 2 other girls. OP in my book, if you have something to hide then you're doing wrong. Its as plain and simple as that. Why does he think ... (read in full...)
A terrible co-worker that I once thought was my friend is holding things over my head. Help!!!
Q. I am really in a difficult situation that I wrote about on here before and took people's advice about, but the situation is somewhat worse after acting upon it. I apologise profusely for the length of this post. Basically, I have been being manip...
A. 13 December 2014: Such a difficult situation for you OP and I really feel for you. You have been on the receiving end and it seems that there is so much sexual politics at play that it's just plain disgusting.
OP the man is question is undoubtedly sick. He's hel... (read in full...)
My wife wants my permission to go out and flirt with other men when it suits her
Q. My wife and I have been together for 17 years, married for 12. We're still young-ish in our 30s because we met young. We've had a great marriage overall and have a relationship that was genuingely best friends first, then it became romantic. She ...
A. 10 December 2014: OP you realize something here, right? Even if you DO refuse, you know that this is something that she wants and will perhaps get out and just do it. Even if she doesn't, there's always going to be a nagging feeling within you and do you really think ... (read in full...)
My wife wants my permission to go out and flirt with other men when it suits her
Q. My wife and I have been together for 17 years, married for 12. We're still young-ish in our 30s because we met young. We've had a great marriage overall and have a relationship that was genuingely best friends first, then it became romantic. She ...
A. 9 December 2014: I'm late to the party but I'll pitch in as well.
OP when you say that she needs permission to flirt, what exactly does that mean? Its clearly not just verbal flirting if the guy's laying his hands on her thighs which means that it has already ... (read in full...)
I had an affair, he broke it off and now has sent me an email. Do I reply to it?
Q. I am married with 2 children. Last August, my relationship with my husband was not great at all and I met someone who totally swept me off my feet. I wasn't looking for the opportunity, it just happened. I wasn't proud of myself and, in hindsight, I ...
A. 3 December 2014: I read the entire post thinking OK, she's made a mistake, she knows better now UNTIL i read the last four words when you've said, "can we be friends?"
How OP, how can you possibly think that you can possibly be "friends" with an ex lover while yo... (read in full...)
I know that my boyfriend didn't do anything wrong but just running into his ex ruined our night and his behavior didn't make things any better
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years. 2 girls before me, he dated a girl for around 3 or 4 years. They've been broken up for over 5 years now. They had an awful relationship where they fought, physically and verbally. She pretty ...
A. 28 November 2014: You're angry because this girl was such an important part of your boyfriend's life and the fact that she was there before you. That he ever loved someone else, that they shared all that history, that they had something which can never be erased.
... (read in full...)
I need to end this unstable relationship without anybody getting hurt physically?
Q. Hey, so I'm having a big issue here in my relationship. I've been dating this guy for almost 3 months, and I'm starting to think that things are not going to get better. I met this guy on a dating website, right after my boyfriend and I of 11 months ...
A. 23 November 2014: Tell him that it's not working out and that you wish him well. No further explanations.
Any relationship which starts with a threat is bound to be doomed. He's just plain and simple blackmailing you into staying with him and he's scaring you on p... (read in full...)
My 36 year old boyfriend is extremely damaged. I'm ready to give up.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years but he's so damaged I'm ready to throw in the towel. His entire life has been a fucked up mess and he refuses to do anything about it. I'm going to tell you about his childhood/past relationships first ...
A. 22 November 2014: Give me one good reason why you're with this guy. What exactly is he giving you? No love, no affection, no security, no safety, no stability, no support of ANY kind. He's just there doing what he wants and you're tagging along with him in what you ... (read in full...)
I am married, but want to confess my feelings of love to another woman.
Q. Hello, I am a 40 yr old married man from India. I had an arranged marriage which is a norm in India. Few years ago I was abroad for 3 years where I met this single Indian woman who was working in the same organization as me. We became good frie...
A. 6 November 2014: I understand that you have an arranged marriage but can you really stay in this marriage for the rest of your life with someone you do not love? Are there children involved? What is your equation with your wife right now?
OP its sad that people a... (read in full...)
The relationship is toxic but ending it is complicated
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and the majority of that time has been just dreadful. He started off incredibly sweet and charming, helped me with money when I lost my job and took me places I'd always wanted to go. But slowly he's just ...
A. 3 November 2014: Oh my God...I don't even know where to start! Get out of the relationship right NOW!! To hell with the oven and the fridge and everything else....its better to live alone under a bridge and you'll still be safer and better off than you are with this ... (read in full...)
He lied to me and now I can't just forgive and move on
Q. I really need help. My boyfriend and I had been friends for a couple of years before dating. He had asked me out several times but I always declined. Mostly because I was in an on and off again relationship at the time and did not want to get him ...
A. 25 October 2014: There is no confusion here OP. This guy is a cheat and he is not to be trusted. He lied to you, he deceived you, he went on vacation with another women, he had sex with her...for all you know he probably is...and believe me OP, you know in your ... (read in full...)
Why does he always say such horrible things to me?
Q. Why does he always say such horrible things to me:( So my bf hasn't been working for 9months now and I've been supporting him with money for food. I don't think he's trying hard enough to finding a job but says we should get married. and...
A. 11 October 2014: Oh you're the gold digger? Right. And what does that make him then, living off of you?
OP he's showing you his true colours in the face of adversity. Everyone's nice and everything's hunky-dory when things are going well but its only when that the... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spends more time with his ex than he does with me!
Q. My boyfriend has been spending a lot of time with his ex girlfriend. This has been going on since they split up a year ago. I tried to be tolerant of the situation as I didn't want to control his life. I did however bring it up with him once an...
A. 7 October 2014: Sorry OP but sounds like you're the ex now. If a man blames you for being insecure when he's the one being dodgy, you know what that means. I don't think you should accept this shitty treatment anymore. Looks like its time to end the relationship... (read in full...)
I snooped ... and I think he's cheated on me!
Q. I know what I did is bad, but I think what I found is worse... I snooped on my boyfriend's facebook account and found him talking to an ex flame which he told me they're just friends now... I would like a stranger's opinion on whether these...
A. 7 October 2014: If you confront him then it'll just blow up in your face because he'll turn it around and make you look like the bad guy. Just leave with dignity, not for him but for yourself. What can even come off confronting him? Finger pointing? Accusations? ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend and don't want to leave, but how can I make him see what a monster he is when he's drunk?
Q. My fiance has a binge drinking problem. When we are on a night out, its as if he just can't get enough and he doesn't know when to stop. He blows all our money on it too! And he gets violent.Last night, he was invited with me to a function and I was ...
A. 4 October 2014: OP you're in denial and you need to snap out of it. This man is an alcoholic and no matter how much you love him, you cant change him. That is not up to you. No matter how good he is when hes sober, the fact of the matter is that he's a violent ... (read in full...)
Why does he get angry when I question him about a girl I know has a thing for him?
Q. Hi everyone! I would like some opinions on this! Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years, we did take a 7 week break over the Christmas period due to personal issues. In that 7 week period I was introduced to a friend of a friend,...
A. 16 September 2014: Whoa whoa whoa...slow down there!! I know your mind is racing at 500 miles an hour and you're thinking of every possible scenario that "could" have happened when in reality, from what you've written, it seems that nothing has.
Your boyfrien... (read in full...)
My B/f said he was 'glad' that I had found out about his cheating as it has really shaken us and allowed us to see what we were neglecting in our relationship. What did he mean by that?
Q. Hi everyone, I just want some opinions or insight into this. Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years, everything was amazing until around may. We started arguing all the time, we couldn't even look at each other without it erupting into an...
A. 14 September 2014: I think the an is over-eager to prove that he's sorry and in doing so, he's saying over-the-top things which he doesn't mean. What he probably meant was that you guys needed something to jolt you out of your downward spiral but the way he said it ... (read in full...)
I've tried to include my half-siblings in my life but they don't seem interested
Q. How do you deal with half-siblings who don't want you in their life? I grew up an only child. I have 3 half-siblings on my dad's side. For 7 years I've been trying to reconnect with them. They haven't seemed very interested. We've correspon...
A. 8 September 2014: Cerberus has a point and that's certainly the mature way of dealing with things. However, I wouldn't bother keeping them in my life or on Facebook. They clearly don't care about you and frankly, they don't seem like very nice people so its not that ... (read in full...)
Broke off my engagement because of a huge crush on my dentist. What do I do now?
Q. Really need some advice please. I was due to get married next year and in preparation for the wedding I decided to get my teeth straightened. The initial dentist I opted to go for couldn't fit me in so referred me to another dentist- ...
A. 7 September 2014: You cant do anything. You did the right thing though, by breaking off the engagement because I'm sure it wasn't just the crush but other issues in your relationship which made you realize that your fiancé isn't right for you.
Your dentist ... (read in full...)
Do I break up with him or tell him the truth about the affair I had with his father and ruin things for his family?
Q. Ok so before you read this I know what I did was wrong and deeply regret it and it's all a big mess. Four years ago I was in a really bad place. I had fallen out with my parents and moved out of home in to a grotty flat which I had to work 3 jobs...
A. 7 September 2014: Karmic connection OP, there's no way you can fight this. Lots of people go scot-free after having an affair but you're being made to pay for your mistake. You cant possibly marry this guy knowing that you've had sex with the father-in-law. What if ... (read in full...)
Could he really be in love with both of us?
Q. I had to meet my ex recently (broke up couple months ago - he fell in love with someone else at work). He had something of mine that I needed back. Think I was ready to meet him and glad I did, we chatted for about an hour and he left. During our ...
A. 6 September 2014: He doesn't love you. He's just saying that to you because he knows how you feel.
Just look at his words..."he said he didn't feel secure thinking of a future with me, where as with this other girl he feel that she would be there whatever happens,... (read in full...)
Can't get past the hurt from his cheating
Q. I found out 4 years ago my husband had a 6 year affair with a ex-girlfiend,we have been married for 29 years,i found out he sent money,gifts,she live in another state,when I confronted him about the imformation I had before me,he begin to cry and ...
A. 5 September 2014: 6 years...that's a long time. He had enough time to look at himself and think that whatever he's doing is wrong but he didn't. I would have felt the same way as you OP, I don't think I would have trusted him either.
Why are you staying with him... (read in full...)
I'm in a high-risk pregnancy and he wants me to start earning?
Q. I have been married for 2 years,I had thought happily. After we got married, my contract terminated for my job. All very stressful but we started trying for a baby straight away. Well the upshot is that all was okay with me but there were male ...
A. 5 September 2014: I get the feeling that your husband isn't very happy with the pregnancy. Maybe he was initially, but now that the actual reality of it is dawning on him, he's taking it all out on you, in a way of almost blaming you for getting pregnant.
You s... (read in full...)
How odd is it that her pets are "brothers"?
Q. I've known this girl Aimée for about 3 months. Met her at work and she's really nice, seems genuine, she's not judgemental or anything like that. She seems like she'd be a good friend. Here's the catch though, we were talking about our families and ...
A. 4 September 2014: I don't know...I don't think I would call this crazy at all. If you love animals and treat them like family, then they DO become family. Its hard to explain and put it in words but its something that you have to feel to understand.
I was extremel... (read in full...)
My heart belongs to my ex. Can't sleep from thinking about her. How can I resolve this situation?
Q. Dear All, I'm in a serious predicament. Please help... I'll make my story as short as possible. I fell in love with a girl, who I started dating after a few months.. Not knowing she had just broken off with someone whom she had serious feelin...
A. 3 September 2014: You know what answers you're going to get. Its obvious. You know what's the right thing to do. That's obvious too. Why then are you torturing yourself thinking about the girl who isn't worth even one single second of your time? She cheated on you, ... (read in full...)
I'm irritated that this girl who is pretty vile personality wise and isn't even that attractive seems to have my crush attracted to her
Q. I feel pretty stupid writing to an agony aunt site but i feel like i have nobody i can talk to about how i'm feeling. There's a guy at work who i have a sort of "crush" on. I've been talk that he likes me, although he's never said it to me. Appare...
A. 3 September 2014: OP you don't know anything about this guy aside from the fact that he "seems nice". Maybe he's the kind who sleeps around with easy girls. How much do you even know about him?
You've written, "what i'm having trouble understanding is why this guy... (read in full...)
I had an affair with a younger man and I wanted to hurt his girlfriend so I told her about what we did. I thought this would break them but they're back together. What do I do now?
Q. I've been very stupid. 6 weeks ago I started to talk to a man 11 years younger than myself, he was at work when I met him and I asked for his number for a job that I needed doing in my home. I text him and it started off innocently, I ne...
A. 2 September 2014: Stop it while you can or you'll have the police after you and a restraining order. Accept that your affair has ended, that the man has realized his folly and moved on and that you accept that your behavior is absolutely abominable.
You are not ... (read in full...)
My crush made a fake ID, talked to me and then blocked me!
Q. Hi everyone.. I am very depressed these days. I m going to discuss it rite now and would like your help. I had a huge crush on a girl when I was in 11th standard. But was very shy to approach to her and tell her how much I felt about her. I a...
A. 2 September 2014: Illusion angel...you've given yourself the right name. It was an illusion indeed and she was just toying with you. Why did she do it? God knows. But the good thing in this entire episode is that if a girl is mean enough to play these tricks with you ... (read in full...)
I told her how her behaviour had affected me so she left with another guy
Q. My ex's solution to everything while we were together was to always storm out in the middle of a discussion. Or snap and break up with me about just about anything, and then leave me standing there wondering what the hell had just happened. So many ...
A. 30 August 2014: OP how can you love someone as selfish, obnoxious, hard-hearted and abusive as her?! What are you getting out of this relationship anyway? She treats you like shit, she doesn't give a damn about what you think or feel, she doesn't have the basic ... (read in full...)
Is this starting to become a love triangle?
Q. Is this starting to become a love triangle? A couple of years ago, I met a married couple who became my friends (the woman more than the man). I too am married. With time, I found my friend's husband increasingly attractive, and noticed he is so...
A. 30 August 2014: The man is trapped in a loveless marriage with nothing to look forward to and he knows that there is a connection between you and him. Maybe he sees the platonic work event as a date and the first exciting thing that's happened to him in a long time ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never buy me gifts or flowers. Do you think this is petty of me to think this way or is this a problem?
Q. I buy my boyfriend nice gifts, all the time. Golf stuff, beer stuff, nice ties... He really doesn't do anything for me at all. He brought me a book for my birthday and a sex toy and that's about it. Otherwise, our relationship (one year so far...
A. 29 August 2014: I like what aunt Cindy said, "Too easy to say " Oh I do not care about material stuff, I am such a spiritual type "- then, why do you keep TAKING material stuff from your partner??"
Exactly my point.
I cant stand people who never bother rec... (read in full...)
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