| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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I wasn't the one who messed up so why am I the one hurting?
Q. My ex and I had been together almost 4 years. He moved from England to Canada with me 3 years ago in August. We definitely had our rough patches, mainly to do with him speaking inappropriately to other girls. Anyway, on Sunday morning I checke...
A. 6 June 2014: It hurts because you expected him to put up a fight and not throw it all away in an instant.
It hurts because he's not even willing to work on whatever relationship you had.
And most of all it hurts because this asshole has humiliated, cheated ... (read in full...)
My gf has constant mood swings, especially around that time of the month and completely takes it all out on me but the moment I have ONE bad day myself, it's the end of the world. Why is that? How is that fair?
Q. I need some advice. Maybe from the guys who have experienced this, personally, but also from the girls who can possibly explain this phenomenon. I always feel like my gf has constant mood swings, especially around that time of the month, and compl...
A. 6 June 2014: This isnt being hormonal, its being spoilt, peevish and difficult just to get her way. This is NOT how women behave during PMS.
By catering to her mood swings and tolerating her behavior, you're just encouraging her to misbehave even more wit... (read in full...)
Neighbor asked my daughter to be bridesmaid then cancelled the big wedding and now I'm stuck with a dress and shoes!
Q. My Nextdoor neighbour was due to get married in August and asked my 7 year old daughter to be bridesmaid. My daughter was thrilled as she'd never been a bridesmaid before and it was probably her only chance (before shes an adult)as all our ...
A. 6 June 2014: Mark said everything that I would have said so I'll just sum it up.
You would have lost the £200 anyway; if your daughter had worn the dress even once I doubt if you could have sold and made any money out of it. Just take the £90 and forget a... (read in full...)
This married guy knows I have a crush on him and he touched and kissed me and said, "lets be casual". What does he mean by that?
Q. here's this guy a married man 47 yrs old, he's my friend and most of his family members were my friend also. last year i realized i really like him (crush). but i kept it inside me. he's so nice to me and whenever we see each other he always f...
A. 3 June 2014: Oh come on...you surely cant be that naïve at 25!
It means that he wants to exploit the fact that you have a crush on him, he wants to have fun with you on the side while he has a wife back home, there will be no commitment, nothing public, ... (read in full...)
Husband wants a threesome, how can I fulfill this sexual experience?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. I need to know how to go about having a threesome with my husband. First off I am bisexual, so theres no issue with wanting to be with woman sexually. My husband has always wanted to experience a threesome. Its just a fantasy. ...
A. 3 June 2014: Don't do it. You're apprehensive and scared and it hasn't even happened yet....imagine your condition during the act and the repercussions after it. Do you remember the movie Indecent Proposal? Demi Moore had sex with Robert Redford and although it ... (read in full...)
I really hope I haven't ruined things with this guy! What do I do now?
Q. Can someone please give me some advice?!!! For the last 6 weeks I have been on 5 dates with a guy from work I really like. The first few weeks were great and he made me feel fantastic! He brought chocolate to my office for me, we went on romantic ...
A. 2 June 2014: Look, to be honest, I think this guy is being a little too judgmental now and I dont think you should keep thinking about what he likes or about pleasing him when he's not really being too nice about it.
"He said he thought I was gorgeous... (read in full...)
My 17 yr old son met an American girl while gaming online and now her parents are offering to pay for his ticket so he can meet her! I'm scared that he'll never come back!
Q. Hi Looking for some advice! My 17 yr old son met an American girl while gaming online 4 yrs ago! They have been chatting on fb and Skype since and now he wants to go to America to meet her! Apparently her parents will pay for his ticket!! I have t...
A. 2 June 2014: Nope, I wouldn't allow it too. If my brother were to inform my parents that he's flying to the USA to meet a girl and her parents were paying for the ticket we would be EXTREMELY worried. I agree with the lady who posted before me, this situation is ... (read in full...)
Surely he will feel disappointed that my nipples are not the way he prefers?
Q. I have a question that may seem so trivial but it's worrying me . The man I am involved with has a thing for and a preference for large nipples. He really prefers them and they turn him on a lot but the problem is I have reasonably sized breasts but ...
A. 2 June 2014: The question is, would you be happy with a man who doesn't accept you as you are?
So what if he has preferences? All of us do, I'm sure you do too and I'm also sure your B/f doesn't fit into every one of them. I always thought I wanted a tall, ru... (read in full...)
What do you think of my poem to my ex?
Q. Young lady's I sent a poem to an ex, I wrote, just like to know if you think, she would of like it, an she ever has regretted breaking up with me, its been almost two years no contact, this is the only time I did this, she left me to go back to her ...
A. 2 June 2014: Lovely sentiments but do NOT make the mistake of sending it. It'll only make you look needy, pathetic and desperate... (read in full...)
How do I confront my boyfriend about pictures and files I've found?
Q. Dear Cupid, I having problems trusting my boyfriend who I've been dating for 6 months. He's my first boyfriend and he says he loves me deeply but I find it hard to believe him because of some of the things I have discovered on his phone ...
A. 1 June 2014: He's sneaky, a cheat and a liar. You don't trust him and you have enough evidence not to. Just dump him immediately.... (read in full...)
How do I prepare myself for the breakup? And should we stay friends?
Q. For the past year and 7 months, I've been involved with this guy. Even though it's been a rough year, I've gotten really attached to him- I lost my virginity to him and everything. However it's become more and more apparent he isn't "ready" or...
A. 1 June 2014: So let me get this straight. This guy feels he's "caged" in the relationship with you, that he's too young to commit, that he wants to enjoy life and all the women in the world, that he's cheated in every relationship that he's been in including the ... (read in full...)
Is cell phone snooping okay?
Q. Is it okay for someone you are dating to go into your cell phone behind your back and look at text messages you have received and sent to other people?...
A. 30 May 2014: Its not OK but its something that most of us have done accidentally on purpose at some point of time or the other.
You have to define the context and be more specific. Who snooped? Was it you or your partner? Is there a history of cheating... (read in full...)
I cheated on my long-term girlfriend after we became long-distance. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a 24 year old male and I've dated the same girl since high school for over 7 years. Words can't describe how much I love this person and I still do. Almost 2 years ago, she moved to Europe for medical studies because she didn...
A. 30 May 2014: You're extremely immature and not ready to deal with any kind of relationship. Your girlfriend goes to Europe to study medicine and you get mad at her? That's your definition of love? You cant even support her decision to pursue her career, what ... (read in full...)
Engaged to be married but afraid to do so because I do not want sex
Q. I am 21 years old and engaged to be married. Let me explain some of my background to you so that this makes sense. I went to a very small Christian school all my life (16 kids in a k-12 school) that is attached to my church. I grew up reading ...
A. 30 May 2014: Good for you OP, its so great that you had the courage to talk to your mom and lay things out in front of her. The problem here is exactly what you describes: you have been so far removed from the real world that you don't know how to handle it but ... (read in full...)
Dumped, why am I so upset by this? A normal person would be running for the hills.
Q. I have been gong through a very difficult time these past few months. I had recently broken up with the biggest Casanova I'd ever dated (he had kids and a wife etc.)So a few months later I meet what I thought was my knight in shining armor, boy was ...
A. 30 May 2014: You're upset because he dumped you when all along you knew that it was just a matter of time before you dumped HIM. You're feeling jilted and small and that is making you upset because this pathetic man actually had the nerve to dump you when it ... (read in full...)
Engaged to be married but afraid to do so because I do not want sex
Q. I am 21 years old and engaged to be married. Let me explain some of my background to you so that this makes sense. I went to a very small Christian school all my life (16 kids in a k-12 school) that is attached to my church. I grew up reading ...
A. 29 May 2014: I felt sad reading your post because it made me realize how truly helpless you must feel and how badly you have been trapped in this situation. Being religious is one thing but to let to dictate and take over your life completely and entirely is ... (read in full...)
I have no idea what I've been doing wrong in all my relationships with men, they never want to define the relationship with and never wanna move forward.
Q. Today the guy im seeing and I decided to go our separate ways. We had been seeing each other 6 months and I decided to ask the defining questions "when do you wanna meet my friends, come for a drink Saturday";"my mother really wants to meet you, how ...
A. 22 May 2014: Maybe this guy just wasn't into you at all and deep down inside you knew it and were still pushing him for commitment, thinking that that would get him to consider the relationship more seriously?
I don't think you're not doing anything wrong; y... (read in full...)
She got drunk and slept with someone -- do I forgive her?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 8 months, never had an argument never fought and we were completely honest to each other for the whole time. We trusted each other very well we bond great and its like she is the perfect one for me and I ...
A. 21 May 2014: Things can never be quite as hunky-dory as they seem, do they? Things cant be picture perfect and you cant be the "perfect" couple and then one fine day poof...your girlfriend sleeps with someone else. Nope. I'm not buying this. You're giving ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my neighbour I had sex with his wife
Q. The other night I was having beers with a few mates, on my back deck .Being a single male there is always people at my house they come and go as they please pretty relax and social atmosphere My neighbour came over with a drink as her husband ...
A. 20 May 2014: Stuffed up? You're as good as dead! You don't just sleep with a friend's wife in a moment of weakness no matter what the circumstances. What the hell is wrong with you? The unscrupulous wife clearly has no qualms but you should know better.
I don... (read in full...)
I found porn on girlfriends phone about men with big penis. Should I be worried?
Q. So me and my girlfriend been sexually active and I am actually below average size but my girlfriend says she is fine with it and that she is satisfied. Recently I checked her phone just to go on the internet and on her history it said "big black ...
A. 20 May 2014: Don't be silly please...it meant NOTHING at all. Porn is just a harmless outlet for masturbation and so what if she masturbated to a big black penis? Its just a visual image that got her off easily, just something that was a variety for her ... (read in full...)
We've drifted apart and I've met someone else
Q. I have been with my current partner for several years now and we have two beautiful children together. We got together quite young and fell with the first after only 6months of being together . We haven't been unhappy but we have drifted apart over ...
A. 19 May 2014: No no no...no matter what you say to defend yourself, no hanky-panky unless you've broken up completely with your current girlfriend. You're not doing any favors to anyone, eventually your girlfriend *will* find out, the kids will be ... (read in full...)
Found out I was pregnant after we broke up
Q. I have a lot to deal with right now. Some days I'm fine just going about my day, then everything comes back to me and i feel overwhelmed and depressed again. I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my ex's baby. We broke up before i even knew i was pregnant. I...
A. 18 May 2014: I feel bad for the child who is already suffering even before his/her birth. Irresponsible parents, a negligent cheat of a father, a mother who is barely even in control of her life...seriously OP get a hold on yourself and take a decision NOW. Stop ... (read in full...)
I've become very uncomfortable with this "friendship"
Q. So I have this guy friend... I don't even know whether to call him a friend because we don't really interact outside when we bump into each other at a mutual friend's house or something. One random night, about 1.5-2 years ago, we talked late into...
A. 17 May 2014: This is bordering on rape and can rapidly escalate out of control if you don't take charge immediately. I don't care what you did to lead him on (although young lady, your behavior was WRONG and I hope you learnt your lesson), this guy needs t... (read in full...)
I said he wasn't making much effort so now I'm judgemental
Q. Im in a bit of a dilemma. I met a guy online for the first time Saturday. We got in really well talking. He was late and texted me on the way. Then he turned up and hadn't shaved or had his hair cut or ironed his shirt. Hes a nice looking guy so he ...
A. 15 May 2014: When I first went out with my boyfriend, I noticed that he hadn't ironed his shirt. I paid for the lunch because he didn't even offer but I was already fuming inwardly. Then when we sat down to eat, he was literally shoveling food into his mouth and ... (read in full...)
I want to move on from a girl I fell for. Is it OK to ignore her if she texts me?
Q. Last year a girl joined my college course and straight away I fell for her. We became friends and then I asked her out at the end of the year and she turned me down. After that nothing changed, we were still friends although she did move into the ...
A. 13 May 2014: Just ignore her. She doesn't exist for you and if you keep thinking about insignificant people like her then you can never move on in life. ... (read in full...)
Social media has me questioning my life and place in the world!
Q. A lot of my peers (most of them,actually) have grown up with social media. I was always late with it, getting myspace and facebook years after my friends had theirs. I have lost touch after high school with many people cause I'm not very active ...
A. 12 May 2014: OP I'm not very active on Facebook either. I have a lot going on in my life but I never want my life to be a giant electronic billboard. I'm done with my PhD this year, I'm going to visit a new country, I'm going on holidays but I don't feel the ... (read in full...)
She wanted to be 'just friends' but cant handle my chasing other girls!
Q. Hey guys, this is about a girl that I met at my university a few months ago. When I saw her, I was instantly attracted to her. Beautiful, great body, nice personality, the works. My mistake was trying the nice guy act when I approached and at...
A. 12 May 2014: I have to give it to you, you're one confident guy!
Anyway, I like the fact that you weren't dejected by the rejection, that you are just being yourself and are still just friends with the girl. Your attitude towards her is fine, its her attitude... (read in full...)
I am dating the boss's daughter and he is not happy about it!
Q. My gf and I have been dating for a few months now and her father is also my boss. When I first started working he was always going on about his "little girl" and I literally thought she was a 13 yr old girl not a 20 year old college student. I met ...
A. 11 May 2014: Are you seriously telling me that your co-worker just happened to read your text? If you get naughty texts at work you read it discreetly and delete it immediately, not make a spectacle of it with everyone which is exactly what you've done. And ... (read in full...)
In an LDR for 3 years, we rarely see each other, and have had sex 3 times! She says she loves me but I'm not sure she wants to be with me. What should I do?
Q. Hello.I am a 31 year old guy and I have been in a relationship with a younger woman for the past 3 years.We live around 100 miles from one another but have kept things going but I rarely ever see her and in those 3 years she has come up to see me ...
A. 7 May 2014: Your girlfriend lies to you, cheats on you, she's a grossly irresponsible young single mother, she clearly doesn't want to be with you but is being pressurized into it by mommy dearest because you're a catch.
No one else would be foolish enough t... (read in full...)
My ex's mum messaged me and I'm not sure if or how I should respond!
Q. Today my ex's mother has facebook messaged me. It is the first time I have heard from her, and I was relatively close to his family, so am not sure whether to respond or how. The message was nice, she was sorry to hear about us breaking up, she ...
A. 7 May 2014: While its nice of his mom to get in touch with you, you are right when you say that it might lead to your B/f getting the wrong ideas. Just be polite with her and don't extend the conversation. Don't ask her any questions that will lead to further ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating, texting her, wanting her back?
Q. I have been in a relationship for going on 6 months. After falling madly for each other I thought that we were doing great. He was attentive, we rarely had harsh words and he ended up moving into my apartment with me. Just last month I noticed that ...
A. 7 May 2014: The biggest give-away was the fact that he turned off the notification on this phone. That for me is a sure sign of cheating and wanting to cover your tracks. If he has nothing to hide then why does he have to be sneaky about it?
You asked, w... (read in full...)
Was I right to conclude that he isn't over his ex?
Q. I am so confused. I met a guy I used to date 25 years ago on facebook, we fell immediately back in love. He is separated and from what both he and his family tells me, his soon to be ex is a horrible person. I have witness first hand. She texts ...
A. 6 May 2014: You did the right thing. He wasn't over her.... (read in full...)
'I was hurting for so long that after a while I became numb to the pain'... what does that mean?
Q. What does it mean when an ex says to you 'I was hurting for so long that after a while I became numb to the pain? - This was in reference to a conversation about our break up just before christmas, it was awful since I was in a bad place and didn't ...
A. 6 May 2014: It means that she was so deeply hurt that she had internalized the pain and it had become a part of who she was, that she had never been so badly hurt before and she felt that nothing could hurt her more.
... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being mad about these 'friends'?
Q. How do you see this situation? Am I wrong for being mad about them? We have a vacation house that we come to from another state approximately 6-7 times a year. Ussualy for kids holidays, just a short break away from work, long weekends, etc. ...
A. 6 May 2014: Kick the tenant out OP, she's just going to create problems for you. You're the bad guy anyway for your neighbors, might as well really be one. The tenant seems irresponsible and you cant possibly keep an eye on her all the time. The unsupervised ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has cut me out from his life, he seems to be having a great time and here I am with severe trust issues
Q. My boyfriend (have been together for just two months) is on a business trip. We were chatting yesterday, and the conversation began as something like "hi! how are you?" and then we proceeded to talk about his new hotel room and his new job, which I ...
A. 5 May 2014: You're not clingy and insecure, he's given you reasons to question him. You know he isn't right for you OP, you've listed out the reasons yourselves and from what I understand from your follow-ups, you're more invested in this relationship than he ... (read in full...)
I went out of my way to accommodate them, and they couldn't be bothered to return the favour
Q. This probably may come across as me being picky but I would like some opinions. I threw my husband a birthday party at our home 2 months ago and we invited a few of his colleagues and their families from his work. 1 particular colleague had ad...
A. 5 May 2014: Talk about rude! OP I'm a vegetarian too and I too would be EXTREMELY pissed if this had happened to me and I would be sure to tell my husband that these "friends" are now history.
They do not have the basic minimum courtesy and decency to take ... (read in full...)
The information this man gave me about his past has made me uncomfortable. Should I keep dating him?
Q. Is this weird? I started dating a man, and we've been on a few dates, I'm still getting to know him. But during the last date he told me that he had been previously engaged to a woman he had dated for almost ten years since he met her in colle...
A. 3 May 2014: Oh hey...just wanted to add, he tells you that he dumped his ex...the more I read into this, the bigger the lie looks! I bet its the ex who dumped him because of his overbearing mother. Of course he'll tell you that he dumped her to look like the ... (read in full...)
The information this man gave me about his past has made me uncomfortable. Should I keep dating him?
Q. Is this weird? I started dating a man, and we've been on a few dates, I'm still getting to know him. But during the last date he told me that he had been previously engaged to a woman he had dated for almost ten years since he met her in colle...
A. 3 May 2014: OP I think that its really nice to have a man care this much about his family and especially his mother. Its almost a rare quality in the world of today and it shows that this is a man of integrity who would never stand anyone disrespecting his mom. ... (read in full...)
I sort of want out of this LDR but I just can't get myself to do it.
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a guy from another country. We have been talking for over 7 years but only dating for a little less than one. I love this guy. He's charming and a total sweetheart. That said, I am constantly at wa...
A. 2 May 2014: It seems like a very formal relationship to me OP. You don't say anything to him for fear of upsetting the apple-cart, he's obviously not as into you as you are into him but he cant get himself to say it, you don't trust him but never air your ... (read in full...)
I don't want to seem weak when I end it
Q. I've been casually seeing a guy for about 6 months and I think for my own sanity I need to end it. He's probably the most rude and arrogant person I've met and he makes me feel worthless with the way he speaks to me. Now do I tell him that's ...
A. 1 May 2014: "Jeff, I have something to say. I don't want to continue in this relationship with you, I'm not happy and I would much rather be alone than with you. Thank you for everything, please do not ever try to contact me in any way. Goodbye" ... (read in full...)
I'm fine with being polygamous but he just likes to cheat!
Q. Hey everyone. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and we got engaged in November. We started off very casually because we don't live in the same city - I happened to be visiting his town on a business trip, I met him, we hooked ...
A. 30 April 2014: OP I've never been in a polygamous relationship but I know someone who is in one and I can tell you, its a recipe for disaster. Somewhere down the line cracks will appear, you will lose faith in each other, you will constantly question each other, ... (read in full...)
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